A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

12. Try not to die

Elizabeth was completely stiff in the body. She could barely move, barely even understand how her legs moved against the cave. It was as if it was her body that lay rigid on the ground, as if it was her cannon that had gone off. On second thought, that was probably how it was, it was she who had died, she who lay cold on the ground, not Jamie.

Even so, she crawled into the cave, because in the end, no matter how she twisted and turned, she was alive. She was alive and Jamie was dead.

She knew that sooner or later their alliance had to end. But they had overrun! They were to part when five tributes were left, five!! But now, after Triwe and Jamie there were six of them. Six tributes were waiting, and judging by the dried blood on her hands and the pounding heart in her chest, she was one of them.

Elizabeth Whitmore, age 12 was one of the six remaining tributes, the six remaining killers.

Because that's who she was. A murderer, not only that, a child murderer. Triwe had been 17, not yet an adult, yes he had been older than her, but still only a child, and the voice inside her made it known. KILLER!
CHILD KILLER!
YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!
YOU TOOK TRIWE AND JAMIE'S LIVES!
KILLER!

She tried to seek comfort in the ground. Trying to wipe away the tears with her hands, all she wanted to do was cup her face in her hands and cry, but the dried red substance on her hands only confirmed what her brain already knew.
Killer.
She's going crazy. She was already crazy. She wanted to cry out her grief, claw the red from her hands, but couldn't, wouldn't.

The 12-year-old killer from four. Here she sat for the whole capital to see.
Come see the murderer!

But then a thought struck her. How long had she been in the games now, 5 days? Yes, 5 days!
She started laughing hysterically. It was unbelievable, here she sat, a newly made murderer, losing her minde, but she wasn't a 12-year-old murderer, she was 13. Her birthday was today.

In retrospect, Elizabeth would never be able to answer what came over her. If madness took over, or sadness, or maybe even a moment of clarity, but without really understanding where it came from, she began, in a hoarse low voice, to sing.

Happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you,

happy birthday dear Elizabeth,

happy birthday to you.

Most likely she had probably lost all her marbles, but still, a small part of her thought that, if only a little, it felt better when she sang. So she continued.

She hummed tunes she hadn't heard since she was little and her mother sang her to sleep. She sang little lullabies that she once sang to Ian. Yes, everything, all childhood tunes, all songs, even melodies she thought she had long forgotten, she now remembered. All in order not to fall completely into the clutches of madness.

She sang until she fell asleep. But even sleep could not offer the young girl any peace. She slept restlessly with many nightmares.

The first was about metal-like carnivorous fish devouring you whole, another was the whole world on fire and the third was the same as the night before and the fourth, the worst, she had switched places with Triwe, or she was Triwe.

In any case, she fought with Jamie, until it wasn't him anymore, it was Finnick!
And in the second of hesitation when she saw her mentor he turned into her, and she thrust a knife into her chest, or Triwe, or god dreams are so confusing!!

Then, after that dream she slept no more, and early the next day at dawn a voice echoed in the arena. "Congratulations tributes! You've made it to the top 5! Tonight there will be something for all of you at the  Cornucopia, something you really need. May the odds be ever in youre faver!"