A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

26. A bath worth remembering

Some time had passed since me and Melinda's conversation. Honestly, it had been quite an eye opener, I had almost forgotten what the world outside my house and the capital was like, but I had decided to make, if ever so small, a difference. So every night after a shift at the bakery I bought up what hadn't been sold, and on the way home I took the road through the poorer quarters and distributed my goods. Which honestly barely made a dent in my finances. Which is embarrassing to admit now that I think about it, but to my credit I also saved a lot. I lived for a long time on only the bare essentials and only started, when Ian started visiting, to fill up the pantry with a few different things and sweetes.

So when I wasn't at the bakery or talking to Melinda, something we started doing every Sunday, or seeing Ian, I was still spending all my time studying, reading and practicing new skills.

But now I mainly learned sign language. For about a month after we got home from the capital, Mags suffered a stroke that robbed her of the ability to speak. Or at least she means it was a stroke. So, for obvious reasons, signing was something I wanted to learn. However, I still had to lerne other skills on the side, something I noticed as I learned words and phrases faster than Mags and we were both left extremely confused by what the other was saing.

Something we can now laugh about.

Otherwise, life flows quite well, the only interruptions in everyday life are when Ian or Annie come to visit, an interruption that I welcome with open arms, otherwise one day is the same as the next.

But for some reason I haven't seen much of Finnick. If it weren't for his daily swims and the constant noise from his house, I would soon have started to worry, but I trust that he would come to me if it was anything like I would come to him.

And if all else fails, we still have to meet soon to talk things out for Annie's victory tour.
Something that neither I nor Annie was looking forward to. I did not need any more reasons to visit the capital.

~~~

You know those nights when you can't sleep. When something inside you just feels unfinished, and you won't be able to sleep until it's done. Tonight was such a night. The only problem was that I didn't know what it was that was undone. So there I lay, completely restless in the darkness and silence, without the slightest possibility of falling asleep. So what did I do? I put on a silk dressing gown over my skin, slipped down the stairs and onto on the terrace.

Once out there, I had no idea why I was there. There was nothing out here for me now and in all honesty I didn't know what had compelled me to go out in the first place. But I knew that, I was just afraid to admit it. With a quick glance towards the pool and the shelter that lay over it, I immediately knew that was not an option, so instead my focus shifted to the sea. Its small waves lapped against my dock and the small raindrops that had begun to fall created small rings on the surface of the water. But a swim had always calmed me down. Still, there was something that pulled at me, something that didn't dare. After all, I hadn't set foot in the ocean since my game. The water had even felt terrifying for a long time, but now, now it looked so calm and peaceful.

Not dangerous at all.

So at that time I knew, I had made up my mind. Slowly I walked out to the jetty and up to the bathing ladder which was bolted down. Then I untied the coat and let it fall to my feet. The drops of water hitting my skin gave me goosebumps, and for a second I considered whether I wanted to do this. But after placing one foot on the first step, I was sure. So I went to pray for the second and then the third, but nothing happened. Nothing at all, no memories, no pain, just me and the water, just like before. So without a second thought I threw myself out. But when the head ended up under the surface of the water and I was hit by the images.

It started with Alesandra, her body maimed by a shark-like mutt while Elizabeth stood in the water and watched, then it was Triwe, then Jamie and many more. She tried to look away, even blindfolded, but nothing worked. And through it all she heard six words.
Stop trying to fcking kill me.

She realized that she was screaming first when someone's arms wrapped around her in the waters and a formilier voice began to whisper words that she couldn't hear under the screams and the rain that was now pouring down.

"Elizabeth!!"
"Elizabeth!!"
"Lizzy!!"
"What!!"
"Open your eyes!"
Only now did she realize that her eyes were still tightly shut, and slowly, so languidly, she opened them. "Finnick?"
"It's cool, I got you."
"Finnick I saw them, all of them, it was the water, but I just wanted…"
My explanation died out, or well, it wasn't an explanation either, mostly nonsense, but she still wanted to make him understand. But he just smiled.
"You have two choices."
"What?"
"Either we go up, or I'll swim out with you, because that's what you were going to do, right?"
I just nodded in response, but when I didn't move, he started ushering us up the ladder.

"No wait I..."
"Do you want to swim out?"
"I, I think so."
"Alright, follow me then."

Slowly we started to swim out, but when we got a little way the images started to come back and I started to panic again.
"Hey, hey Lizzy look at me."
Panic flashed in my eyes, but Finnick remained calm.
"Are those your games?"
I could only nod in response.
"Look at me then, was I in your games?"
He got a shake of his head in response.
"No precks, but I'm here, focus on me, you're okay."
We slowly swam a little further out, Finnick all the time face me, and slowly slowly the images started to disappear.

We didn't stay long after that, and when I finally started laughing about where we were and what we were doing, we both understood that we could go upstairs.

Finnick took me to my bathroom and washed me in hot water. We left a long wet trail behind us but none of us cared. Then he took me up to my bed and tucked me in.

Only when he stood in my doorway and was about to leave did I regain my ability to speak.
"Thank you Finnick."
"It was nothing."
"Yes, yes, that was it, thank you."
He smiled a little before taking a step back into the room and continuing. "Can you promise me one thing Lizzy?"
The words touched my soul, words I had heard before, and not yet kept. "Sure."
"Promise me you won't let the capital take away everything you love."
"I promise."
"Good."
And with that he left the room, closing the door behind him.