A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

32. Shit and fuck

The relief I felt when the reaping was over was almost as great as my own surprise.

For the first time ever, I didn't care the least bit about who was reaped, I didn't even know their names. All I knew was that their name had been Ian's, and now, when I thought about it, my relief almost made me sick.

I would be a mentor to these kids, teach them, mabye gett them out, this was someone's child, grandchild, maybe even sibling, but all I had cared about was my own brother, or rather the the absence of his name.

When did I become like this?
Like, so werry absent, unkempt?? Was it when the house went down in flames, or when I found out mom was dead, maybe when my relationship with Cory started, or was it before that??

All I knew was that I knew nothing and it almost drove me crazy.

~~~

The train journey went as always, although it got longer.

A few years ago now they had started rebuilding the rails, when it was finished a train journey that previously took one day took two. It doesn't make any sense and I was fucking pissed when I found out.

Practically cursed out the entire capital in front of Finnick, but of course it didn't make a difference.
Or well, some difference had occurred. Instead of having one day to prepare your tributes for everything, you got two, which sounds good, but more time only contributes to more scared tributes and more scared tributes don't want to talk or learn about ennything, so in short, it fucking sucks.

Although, not everything sucked with the new schedule. More time on the train with scared tributes who just wanted to be alone, meant more time alone.
Or in my case, more time with Finnick.

It had just happened that over time me and Finnick, and Mags and Annie had become two different grupes.
That's not to say that the four of us didn't hang out, but this separation had happened so naturally, and now, seens we're mentors, it worked out better to be two mentors for one tribute than four mentors for two tributes.

This was a huge advantage for me and Finnick because it meant that no one even batted an eyelash at the two of us walking into a room and staying there, all by ourselves.

"I pitty their parents."
Was the first thing I said after a long silence. We had left the others and said we would talk a little strategy, even though we both knew there wouldn't have been much talking. But now that we were here, on a train heading towards the capital, it was as if we didn't really dare, both were kind of wary and suspicious, but neither of us knew of what.

"You don't have to. Magda's parents are dead and the Qwinns are alcoholics."
"But still, to loss a child."
"They're not dead!! Besides, it's not the parents you should pitty, it's the kids, the kids Lizzy!!"

He was angry, werry angry, but not at me, no never att me, but at the capital.

This was always a difficult time for Finnick, and it showed through his emotions, but only in private. Never at a party or an interview, then he was perfect, or rather just a damn good actor.

It almost made his outburst a relief to me. Because instead of seeing them as losing control, I saw them more of a sign that he was safe, with me he dared to let go of the mask he spent years creating, and that could never make me angry, on the contrary, I could only love him more.

So when he was about halfway through his rage, I act on impulse.

I got up from the bed I was sitting on, walked over to him, put my arms around his neck and interrupted him with a kiss.
"You know, if you wanted to shut me up you could just say so."
"Why, this was much more fun."
He didn't contradict me and instead responded with another kiss. needless to say I enjoyed being in his arms, and hopefully, he in mine.

~~~

Day two on the train had been spent preparing our tributes. At Annie's request, we had taken Qwinn and them Magda.

Neither I nor Finnick had been able to figure out which was from this inquiry, but my leading theory was that Annie either saw herself in the girl, or she felt some kind of protective instinct towards her. As I did to Annie myself. But enough of those thoughts, the rest of the day my full focus was on Qwinn, his experiences.....and his mentor.

No jokes and truths aside, I spent the day, with Finnick's help, preparing the boy for what would happen the coming days, but also trying to teach him how to throw a knife, which we practiced by throwing a very harmless butter knife at a designated target.

And so, just like that, we arrived at the end of the world. Also known as the capital. I had put on my usual capital smile and pulled the fake personality out of the closet, fully expecting the doors to open. Only until they did, and they let in the sight of Cory dressed impeccably with an equally big smile on his face.

"Elizabeth honey I've missed you!"
He pulled Finnick aside, placed a cold kiss on my lips and began to lead me away from the others. Just for a second I let everyone see how confused and shocked I was, then put on the most goofy face I could muster while cameras flashed and interviewers were ignored.
Shit.

Guess this is happening. Those bastards had decided that our relationship would become public, and the king had deigned to tell me. Was this a test? Honestly, it didn't matter, I was fucking pissed.

To top it all off, I wasn't taken to the premises where mentors could wait for their tributes to get ready for the carriage ride, nor to fours apartment.

No.
Cory took me down a road I'd never been on, into a building I'd never visited and up to a floor I didn't evan know existed.

Had it not been for the fact that I was one of the capital's favorites, I would have thought he would try to assassinate me on the president's orders, but then again, nothing was impossible in the capital, or rather for its president.

Later, Elizabeth would come to regret many times that her first thought was wrong.
But that is far into the future.