A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

51. A train ride through hell

He looked like he wanted to kill me. Not Finnick, no in Finnick's eyes there had only been sadness and understanding, but when I saw him, when the peacekeeper's words became incredibly clear, when I looked into Cory's hateful eyes then I had known.
Nothing in the world could have made me make a different decision.

Finnick's finger brushed my hand as Cory pulled me away. A tiny movement, almost imperceptible, but it held all our love for each other. Suddenly, for the first time ever, I counted myself lucky that the train ride was so short, it would be over in a few hours, and in just a few hours Cory wouldn't be able to hurt me that much, could he?

"What the hell were you thinking!!" He had waited to start yelling at me until we were behind closed doors.
"I was thinking Annie wouldn't survive another game, didn't you see her face when they drew her name."
I kept my voice calm, I wanted to rage and scream, but it wouldn't help, it would only make things worse.

"And what about us!! Our relationship, for God's sake Elizabeth we are engaged didn't you think about me, my feelings!!"
"No."
"No? No! Do you know how hard I had to work to get my grandfather to agree to--. I almost signed my hole future away for you!!"
"What did you say."
"My future, it's set in stone, for your sakeaa Our sake!!"
"No."
He had said those words, just the thought of him mening he hade given up his future for me made me want to puke, but that wasn't what I meant.

"What did you get in return?"
"What?"
"What was the price for you agreeing to his terms."
I knew the president, there was always a price, always something to be won.
"Why is it important Elizabeth look at me---!!"
"Ohhh it's very important, what was your deal!"
I was no longer as calm and collected as I wanted, but I didn't care.
"What was the price Coryolanus!!" "You!! You were my price!!"
"What have you done!!"
"Your fucking name wasn't in there to begin with!! But now you've ruined everything!!"

A shiver ran through me as his words hit me. Finnick and I had been sure that I would be safe, that my place as Cory's fiancée would keep me safe, but I realized only now that I never thought about how. Anger bubbled up inside me and before I could stop the question it was out.

"How did you do it?"
"I told the peacekeepers preparing for the sermon to pick a name, looks like they picked Annie's."
He said it so nonchalantly, as if he waived the answers away, ohh I just wanted to, to kill him.
"So her name was in there twice?" The odds had never been in her favor, just for them to be in mine.
I wanted to puke.

"No Elizabeth."
"Three?"
I hardly wanted to ask the question, my voice just a whisper.
"You put her name in the bowl three times?"
"It was easiest that way, you don't understand, grandpa told me to choose, but I knew I wouldn't be able to choose from your friends!!"
This man was truly sick in the head!
"I think I should go, I need to leav."
"Elizabeth please, stop, wait, listen to me!!"
He stretched out his hand towards me, but I ignored it, just started walking towards the door, now in hindsight I understood that that wasn't the smartest decision.

Cory had never been one to take a no very well, something I knew, something I forgot in my anger and despair. So when he again took a firm grip on my arm and spubb me around to face him, I was more surprised than I should have been.
"Elizabeth if you'll just listen to me!!" "Cory let me go."
"I love you--!!"
"Cory let me go!!"
But he didn't, I should have understood it just from the look in his eyes, there was something animalistic, something mischievous, almost hateful.

"Cory let me--!"
A slap across my left cheek stopped me from finishing that sentence.
"Elizabeth I didn't mean--!!"
He looked genuinely surprised, almost remorseful, man I was so tired of his sick mind games.

"I. Hate. You."

And so I had said it, despair shining from his eyes and voice, but I honestly didn't care.
"No, no, come on Izzy, you don't mean that, you, you're just overwhelmed." "Don't call me Izzy."
I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but it was difficult, he had pushed me up against the wall and there was no way out.
"Cory let me go."
"No, no, I can be better, I promise, I love you!! You, you're mine!"

I could see something change in his eyes at those words, something in his whole being changed, and not for the better. His grip tightened and he smiled alarmingly.
"You're mine!"
He pressed a hard kiss to my lips before I could protest.

And before I knew it, he had me down on the floor. He continued to kiss me, and I resisted, only when he started unbuttoning my pants did I realize what he wanted to do, would do. Panic spread throughout my body and suddenly the only thing I could do was beg and pray.
"No, no Cory please no!"
"What's the problem Honey, I love you."
His voice was calm, terrifyingly calm, never before had he scared the crap out of me, but that's a first for everything.
"No no Cory I know you, you don't have to, Cory please!"
My words were incoherent, thrown out in panic.

"Do you love me?"
He seemed to stop at that, awaiting an answer.
"Of course!!"
I was panicked, would grab anything that could save me, but nothing could. "Then why did you say you hated me?"
He had taken my pants off now, I was frozen with fear, wouldn't have been able to fight even if he asked me to. "Please Cory, please--!!"
"Why Elizabeth!!"
"I don't know, I didn't mean it I was just mad!!"
"Mad?"
"Yeah mad!!"
"Good, good."
In a panic, I had begun to nod in agreement.

"So you're going to let me go?!"
My voice shook and as he loosened his grip a little I could feel the relief wash over me.
"Oh Elizabeth I love you, I would never hurt you, would I?"
"No, no you wouldn't!!"
Panicked laughter had now welled up, but it died away as he continued. "Good, it's good that we're in agreement."

He took what he wanted, despite my tears. But I didn't scream, refused to give him that satisfaction.

When he was done, he straightened his clothes and hair, casually as if nothing had happened.
"We're in the capital in an hour, I suggest you clean up."
There was nothing but coldness in his voice, but I guess that could be due to the hateful look I shot him.

Then he went out, leaving me alone.

I pulled up my pants and straightened my hair, a bruise had formed around my wrist but I didn't care, the capital could damn well see how their golden boy treated me. But I knew one thing for sure.
Any and every death that could come my way in the arena was better than spending one more second with that man.