A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

22. Reminds me of you

"How is she?"
"She, she's good. How was your interview?"
"It....it was good."
Both gave equally stupid answers and both knew there was something wrong, yet neither of us said anything for quite some time.

"Did it taste as good as you made it sound?"
Finnick was the first to break the silence.
"Hmm? Ohh yes, the muffin, yes it was good."
"So everything is good?"
"Yes, yes everything is good, and for you?"
"Good."
"Good."

I considered telling about the letter in the dressing room, but we had just become friends again.
The fear that he would leave me again to try and protect me from Snow, or worse that he would think this was another way for the president to punish him, was far greater than that of Snow and what might happen to me.

So instead of me saying anything or him asking, we just plainly said good night and went to our rooms.

~~~

Spoiler in case you wanted to try it at some point, but it turns out that lying to your friends and threats from the president don't make for the best sleep. During the night I fell asleep on and off, the longest lasting about an hour.
So when it was three o'clock I
gave up.

So as quietly as possible I snuck out of my room and our apartment to the elevator. Then I took the elevator down to the ground floor and walked the rest of the way to the mentor room. If I couldn't sleep, I would at least try to do some good.

The doors slid open for me and showed me the way into a quiet and empty room. Not a single mentor in sight. If I was completely honest, that was actually what I was hoping for.

I took a seat on one of the chairs placed around the large round TV table, I lifted the picture so that it floated in front of me and then I started to browse. Only then did it hit me that Annie might actually be dead. The lump in my throat, which I had previously been able to ignore, almost doubled in size, and only when the screen landed on a redheaded distrot girl was I able to let out the air I didn't even know I was holding. Thank God she was alive.

Like me, she didn't sleep. She was huddled on the ground with her knees up to her shoulders, but she wasn't sleeping. Whether it was because she was afraid or just couldn't, I didn't know. Maybe it was both. Again I couldn't know anything for sure, I wasn't in her game and I didn't know what she was thinking, yet I knew one thing. I have to get in touch with her before she goes completely crazy. But how? It wasn't like I could ask the game makers to send out a short message.
Could I?
No, no, I couldn't.

Frantically I search the screen for just a little bit of help, but nothing, right? The sponsor button in the top right corner was shining at me, had that been that bright before?
Against my better judgement, I pressed it, but just like before, all options were locked. All but one.

Someone had sponsored Annie enough that I could send her a water bottle, it was the smallest size, but it wasn't the water I was interested in, it was the message you could send whit it. It couldn't be longer than 15 words so I had to choose wisly, but what should I write.

I had been so busy figuring out what to write, and whit the writing itself, that I hadn't noticed when the doors opened and closed behind another person. So naturally I jumped probably 3 feet in the air and off my chair as I turned my head to the left and met Finnick's gaze.

"Lizzy?"
"What the hell, what are you doing here!"
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I could not sleep!"
He smiled a little at the way I pressed the word I, before answering in a miming tone.
"Well, neither could I."
Pressing on the I.
"You are an asshole do you kno--" "Shhh!!"
Finnick shuched me, not even noticing what I was saying.
"Lizzy look! Annie gets a sponsor gift!"
"Yes and?"
His gaze shot to me.
"Yes and? Yes and! Do you have any idea what this could mean!!"
"Yes that means that---Oh wait, yes of course, you don't know!"
"Do not know what?!"
"I sent it."

He looked skeptical, but almost ached to accept my explanation.
"You?"
Almost.
"Yes, we could send something and she needed it."
"You mean you sent something without consulting me, your partner?!"
"You were supposed to sleep!!" "Whatever, it doesn't matter now, what did you send?"
"Water."
"Water? You sent water?"
I nodded.
"Lizzy?"
"Yes."
"She dosn't need facking water!!" "Everybody needs water!!"
"Not if it's already in the arena!!"

He had a small point, small, but he didn't know what I knew.
"Relax, besides the water wasn't the important thing, the mesedch was" "Are you brain dead!!"
"I am not--."
I interrupted myself as soon as I heard her voice.

"Hello?"

The parachute was at her feet, but even more important, she was holding the note.
"Talk to me.
- Izzy."
I had used Ian's nickname because it was shorter, but I hadn't expected her to read it out loud. I had to admit it hurt a little, just Ian calling me Izzy.

"What should I talk about?"
And as if she could hear me, I whispered.
"Anything, everything."
Of course she didn't hear me.
"Okay, Elizabeth, what's your favorite color?"
"Blue."
But nothing but dead silence met the young girl.
"Ohh, I feel so stupid, talking to someone who isn't even here!"
"But I am!"
"But I think you once said. Blue."
"I did."
It was barely even a whisper, I couldn't have been more than 8 when I told her, at least 9 years ago, yet she remembered.

"You said it was because of the sea. The sea, the sky and everything in between. Because blue was home."
"I did."
My woys craking, and a tear had slowly started to roll down my cheek, I so desperately wanted to reach out a hand and comfort her.
"Mine is green. Deep green, but I don't know why."
I caught a glimpse of who she was before she entered the arena, but with a single shot of a cannon, she was back to the cowering, scared girl. "No."
I don't even know if the word left my lips.

~~~

"It's okay, she'll be okay."
Finnick had been trying desperately to comfort me since we left the mentoring room. Now we would soon be back in our apartment and, although I wouldn't admit it, I was in despair.
"You know, she reminds me of you."

I stopped at his words and for the first time in, well the intire time, I turned to face him.
"What did you say?"
"She reminds me of you, and you of me, after…."
"After?"
"After Jamie."
The words hit me like a punch in the gut and I gasped for air.
"H, how?"
"When you sang. You were going crazy, it showed in your eyes and I was so scared, but you made it, and so will she."
"You never told me."
"And you never told me you were meeting the president tomorrow."
Shit.

"What?!"
He said it so nonchalantly, as if it meant nothing.
"How did you know?"
"You may not believe me Elizabeth, but sometimes I can read you like an open book. And maybe, I just guess right now."
Double shit, I had exposed myself. "Finnick?"
"Yes?"
"I'm scared."
"Don't be. He won't hurt you."
Not very reassuring, but atlesst he tried.
"But what about Annie?"
"I'll see to her."

DING.

The elevator had reached the fourth floor and we got out.
The conversation ended there whether we wanted to or not.
But that didn't mean I fell asleep when I got to my room. Ohh no, I wasn't that lucky.