A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

44. Not a disappointment

The only thing that made the damned situation feel a little better was the fact that Evernis Grimsly had without hesitation chased Cory out of the room they had set up for trie ons.
She said that under no circumstances should a husband ever get to see his bride in the dress before the big day. When Cory had tried to protest, gods knew why, she had asked if he wanted to doom our marriage before it had even begun!

And with that, he had been forsed to walk away defeated, I had barely managed to hide the contented smile that tried to sneak over my lips at his defeat.

If I had thought the dresses would be something to look forward to, I was wrong. I had always wanted to get married in my mother's wedding dress, but after the fire that had been made impossible. I had come to terms with that appeal, indeed, but what I had not come to terms with were the monsters of dresses the capital would try to foist on me.

One over-dramatically large balgown was tried on after another, and if they weren't bolgowns, they were pimped, tight-fitting, v-necked dresses.
It was like I had to choose between being a princess, or, well, let's call it a sex symbol.

If I had been able to decide for myself it would have been a widow's white dress, the only thing would be that it would be long, it was them, but with each try it became embarrassingly clear to me that it would never become reality. Instead, the others landed on an overdramatically oversized ball gown, covered in white pearls.

"Ohh Elizabeth, you will make such a beautiful bride!!"
Evernis stood in front of me, caressing the dress from time to time.
"And it will pair so beautifully with a bucket of white roses!"
"White roses.....yes, the President's favorite."
My words fell flat and slowly slowly a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Ohh look at those, tears of joy, ohh Elizabeth I'm so happy for you!!"
I smiled at her, for the good of all of us, she would believe that they were tears of joy,
I would not correct her.

~~~

I now only had waiting left in my life. I was waiting for the dinner with the winners from 12, I was waiting for us to have more dress trials, because of course you couldn't just have one dress! I was waiting for my wedding and I was waiting for my death.
At least one of them was coming pretty soon.

Everyone around me was achingly happy to meet the victors from 12 outside the capital, but after the dress fitting I had reverted to some kind of empty emotionless loneliness. It wasn't quite as bad as when Ian died, and it had generally gotten better after Cory went back to the capital, but I was desperately trying to fill my days with anything so I wouldn't have time to be alone. I'd learned the hard way that loneliness was the worst thing for me, I'd even started visiting the bakery again from time to time, re-reading all my books and occasionally crashing Annies and Mags' cooking sessions, all so I wouldn't be alone.

Not that they said ennything, I even thought they thought it was nice that I was spending time with them and learning about their hobby, which in all fairness I wanted to, but it still felt like I was intruding on something which was theirs.

I had even begun to look forward to Evernis coming to help me pick out something from my wardrobe to wear to the dinner. Had I asked her to, no, or at least I didn't think so, but I was looking forward to it anyway.
The realization had even scared me when I told Annie and Mags about it. God I was afraid of being alone.

~~~

"Oh no Elizabeth this just won't do!! This one is too simple, this one is too boring, that one, well it speaks for itself!!"
She stood in my closet and tore down item after item on the floor. Clearly upset by my simple fashion sense, perhaps she had hoped my wardrobe would resemble the sexy dresses I wore in the capital, or the over-glamorous garments, but then she'd been disappointed.

To my credit, she had liked the dress I had worn during my interview with Cory, but when she found out that the entire capital had already made me wear it once, that too had been frowned upon and thrown to the ground.

"Maybe you're a hopeless case dear, and we who don't have time to order something new!!
Ohh if I only knew!!"
She looked almost despairing, almost disturbed, I had probably never seen Evernis so, so, well unhappy with one of her victors.
I was about to comfort her when she raised a finger in the air and turned to face my closet again.

"Oh wait wait, I feel something, maybe I'm talking too soon!!"
She grabbed something deep in the closet with both hands and pulled and out came, well something?
It took a couple of seconds of Evernis triumphantly holding the garment up in front of me before I realized what it was.
Oh shit.

It was one of the first dresses I asked Silvers to make, before we agreed on what my style was. Don't get me wrong, it was absolutely not ugly, the boddes was delicately decorated with a variety of different sea plants in crystal, pearls and god knows what, it was, or rather should have been knee length, but I had asked her to make it almost 6 years ago then!!
If it sat well then I could only fear how it would sit now.

"I'm terribly sorry to disappoint Evernis, but it won't fit."
"Oh my gosh, bullshit!!"
A little shocked by her answer, I hastily tried to explain.
"I, I had it made when I was like 13, it won't fit!"
"Of course it will, you're going to look gorgeous in it, fill it out! Besides it's got a corset back, smale waist are in, the capital will just eat you up!!"
"But I..."
"But??"

She had gone from shining like a ray of sunshine to worried in less than a second, I could see then and there that she only wanted my best, or at least what she thought was best, besides, she had come in extra to help me, so what a persion I would be if I just nobbed her!
"But nothing, it will be great for sure." "Ohhh you will be the most beautiful victor out of all of you!!...
Don't tell Finnick I said that!"

The rest of the time she spent finding matching jewelry and hair accessories to go with the dress, while I wondered if I could even be able to squeeze into said dress.