A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

20. Finnick

I wasn't old when I won my games. Only 14. My charm and good looks had made me a favorite in the capital, so despite my young age there had been intrest in sponsors.

So when I received the trident, which incidentally was the most expensive sponsor gift ever in the history of the
Hungergames, the others' days were numbered. I'm not proud of what I did next, but everything I did I did to stay alive.

Then everything happened so fast. Mags tried to explain and coach as best she could, but now in hindsight I know that a lot didn't stick.
Yet there I was, just a few days later, sitting on a throne with the president in front of me.

I thought like many victors that the crown placed on my head meant freedom, no more reapings, a nice house and a steady economy, but that was only the surface, that's what they want you to believe.

In fact, the crown is the prison in human form. With the crown comes titles you didn't ask for, threats and a constant fear for those you love.
The crown is really the last sign that you will never again feel freedom, that the freedom in itself does not even exist.

Something I soon learned.

See, as victors we all have a role, I had played lovable and charismatic before my games, something that became both my salvation and my doom.

But when the young, beautiful, handsome, brave victor breaks down on his victory tour when he sees in a district the faces of two of the children he murdered, and also their families, ohh that's not good. That is an image the capital, and the president does not want.

No their victors must be strong and fear nothing.
How else would they win?

A lesson President Snow taught me. By killing my parents.
I think they blamed it on a gas leak, but the note on my father's desk in the office suggested otherwise.
Victors are strong, all mistakes are punished.

The funeral was held privately. Just me and Mags. After my parents, the elderly woman carried everything I had left. We rented a boat and scattered their ashes in the sea, as they had wanted, as most people in District 4 do.
And then I was alone.

But then, then there was a girl.

Elizabeth's name sould never have been drawn.
There were other names that were there dozens of times, but still Evernis had read her name.

I didn't know her that well then, I had seen her at school sometimes and she was a pretty girl, but no one directly noticeble.
The odds were against her and she certainly wouldn't last long in the games. Something she said herself, and something I respected her for.
She was quiet and shy, almost the opposite of her district partner. Jamie had wanted to know everything, had intended to win, but fate had other plans.

It wasn't until Elizabeth scored the 11 that people began to look twice at the young girl, and after her interview, then some began to get curious.
Would District 4 crown an even younger victor?
Certainly not.
Right?

But after she survived the bloodbath, the soon-to-be 13-year-old in The Hunger Games was on everyone's lips. I myself had many interviews during that time. I was the latest victor, and already a mentor! People were curious, and those who weren't, well they didn't exist.
At least not in the capital.

Elizabeth had, perhaps unconsciously, built up an image that tinged with mystery, something that I followed and took full advantage of. Only once did I honestly and clearly answer Caesar's question about our tributes, once.

But I thanked my lucky stars when she bumped into Jamie at the creek and not, well, anyone else.

And so before I knew it, and with just one sponsor's gift, she had done it. Despite the odds, Elizabeth Whitmore had emerged victorious in the 66 Hunger Games, and when she returned, she had to pay the price.

She was unconscious when she arrived in the capital, body but especially legs stabbed and bruised almost beyond recognition.
Safe to say I was scared shitless.

Only when I saw and talked to her days later did I believe that she would be okay, but the Elizabeth that came back was not the same one that was forced into the arena. This Elizabeth was absent, almost noachalant, she didn't understand the risks involved in being a victor and I was desperately trying to get back the girl who left me.

Only when she saw her family again did I catch a glimpse of that girl.

Then we just tried to be there for her, me and Mags. After all, we were the only ones around her who could understand what she went through, and I mean really understand. I loved her, like a close friend and maybe a sister, I thought.
First when Haymitch Abernathy had offered her alcohol, and I may or may not have been pissed at the man, had I realized that maybe, just mabye there was something more.

So in the coming years I will be there for her. Gods know we both needed someone to talk to.
But then the day came, the day peacekeepers came to my door, and for the first time in a long time someone occupied my father's office. President Snow had made it clear to me that the capital saw me as attractive, something I already knew, and now that I was almost 18 they thought they had waited long enough. He made a proposal, I would "be" with the capital's residents while I was there and, well in short we would both benefit from it.
Of course I refused.

Then he saide her name, and as soon as her name left his lips I was hooked. I had understood for a long time that any form of love as a victor was deadly, but I never thought he would threaten the life of another victor.
In short, he had disproved even my wildest nightmares about the man, and for her sake I had agreed.

So almost immediately after I had frozen her out. I had thought I was protecting her, because maybe just maybe then the president would forget about my feelings for the young girl, and she would be safe.

But I had only hurt her more. I had left her almost completely alone and I ignored her cries for help. She had even started writing a diary.

The capital had taken so many things from her, and now I hade left her.

Only when she was standing in my room, almost crying, had I realized that I wasn't protecting her. I only hurt her more.
So once again I had held her when she cried, it only took a few seconds and everything was almost as before.

We had agreed to keep our distance in the capital. For the safety of both of us, the president was not allowed to suspect anything.
Despite that, she had fallen asleep in my arms, in my bed. I had fallen asleep with the smell of her next to me and the realization that we were now friends, we were friends again.

A/N
I feel happy and generous today. Soooo....
You got this chapter a little earlier than what I hade planed :)