A fate worse than death~~A Finnick Odair story~~

31. A boat

"Do you want to talk about it?"
He had waited so patiently, waited as I asked him to, not letting it ruin the rest of the day, but now. Now that we were safe in the dark under the covers, he asked.
"We didn't do anything out of the ordinary."
"So mostly kissing and sneaking around then."
"Yeah, mostly."
"Nothing too difficult then."

Difficult? I didn't think like that anymore, everything I did I did for Ian. Nothing was difficult when it was for him. If there was anyone it became difficult for, it was Finnick himself.
"No...But Finnick, I'm scared." "Scared? You're the bravest, smartest, most beautiful woman I know, you don't need to be scared."
"I think he wants to make our relationship public."

I was met with silence, stone cold silence, and then.
"Ohhh."
"Yup."

"Why??"
"He keeps hinting at it and I--."
"No, I mean why are you afraid, they can't force you to do more than you already do."
"I'm scared for you. Or for our sake, what if I have to spend more time in the capital and what if Snow finds us out!!"
"Shhh Lizzy, it's okay, everything's okay."
"But what if--."
"If the president has a problem with us behaving impeccably in the capital and that I love you, he can shove it up his ass!"
"Finnick!!"

I tried to sound shocked, but the laughter in my voice couldn't be hidden.
"Look, we'll be fine, we've survived, we'vebeen through worse."
"Like what?"
As soon as I said it, I wished I could take it back, but Finnicks face didn't change.
"Your fish stew for example."
"Misster Odair!!"
His laugh was ringing and I couldn't help falling in.

"God Finnick, I love you."
But then the laughter was as if cut by an axe.
"What did you say?"
Shit what hade I messt up now.

"I, I said I love you."
I almost threw the words out, waiting for him to understand, but he just smiled widely.
"That's the first time you've said it." "No it can't be!!"
"Ohh yeah, trust me it is!!
And just for the record, I love you too, and I said it first."

Now I smiled too, of all the reactions I could have gotten, I hadn't expected this one, but it had been true, I loved him, love him.
But truly for the record, he had said it first, and more.
But I would probably catch up soon enough.

~~~

We all handled the build up to reaping differently. It was a day we all collectively loathed, but no one wanted to talk about. Annie and Mags had now spent the last two years cooking a huge amount of food, all of which was give away, I had, before Ian's arrival, isolated myself, but now I just tried to ignore it, as best a former victor could, but Finnick.
Ohh dear God.

I think he had been more stressed than evan me, and this was Ian's first reaping.

For the very handsome Finnick Odair had, in the past year, designed, built, painted, named and now also launched a boat.
A whole as boat!

We other victors had long wondered why he had started missing his swims on certain days, but when we heard the sound of tools being used we started to panic.

It was unlike Finnick to just disappear like that, but here we were, almost a year later, the boat soon in the sea, and I had long since stopped worrying. I had not received answers to two questions during the course of the year.
Number one, had he gotten help and number two, would the boat float? I assumed he would at least take the answer to one of those questions to the grave.

I got the answer to number two, although some may have thought I was putting my life on the line, and for those wondering, yes the boat floated. The first trip was all five of us, but when Mags, myself and Annie had had enough of the slow speed, two of us had to return to solid ground. I was not one of the lucky ones, because as my brother so nicely put it.
"He wasn't tired of the boat, Finn wasn't tired of the boat, so I forfeited my opportunity to be tired."

I was 99 percent sure they weren't logic in that equation, but if Finnick wanted to wake up with sore arms tomorrow after hustling us around all day, then be my guest.

But if I had thought that the boat trips would wear off after a day, I was grossly mistaken. Because we spent all the afternoons up to the reaping at sea. On the second day, Ian had found an island that was within row distance of Finnick, so naturally we had a snack there every day.

So the new routine looked like the following.
Come home from the bakery.
Pack a picnic basket.
Meet Ian.
Go to Finnick's house.
Boat.
Island.

Thank god it wasn't me rowing was all I had to say.

But, the constant trips led to two good things, one was that Finnick realized pretty quickly that he wanted an engine on the boat, I wonder why, the other was that he wanted to create some kind of tangible roof so that you could sleep in the boat.

Sadly, only one of those two things would ever be done. Not that we knew it at the time, but in about a year our lives would once again be turned upside down, the only difference being that this time it would be harder to recover.

But we didn't know that when Finnick rowed us home from yet another visit to the island. Ian had fallen asleep on my lap and I enjoyed another perfect moment. I relished the thought of the memories we made today for Ian, the thought that maybe, just maybe, he would be able to escape the sharp claws of the capital.

"What are you doing?"
I hadn't realized I was whispering before the sentence left my lips and Finnick looked at me blankly for a second.
"Ohh, nothing I just anchor the boat." "Ohh daa, stupid question. Do you need help?"

I made an effort to stand up, but Ian's head and a male movement from Finnick kept me sitting.
"No, no, I just need you to sit perfectly still."
"Why--?"
But my question died out when his lips were pressed against mine. I returned the kiss and for a moment we were both completely at peace.

But a single sound from Ian caused us to pull apart.
We couldn't risk anyone, and I mean anyone, finding out.

But luckily for us, he didn't wake up. So while I carried the picnic basket in, Finn took Ian.
And since it just happened to be closer to his house than mine, we had to spend the night there, Ian tucked up in the guest room, and me, well, let's just say I wasn't sleeping alone, and there wasn't much sleeping either.

For the first time I've actually done it with someone I love.
Finnick makes me feel whole, nothing like Cory.