Red Vs Blue Book of One-Shots

Rainbow Road

"Dammit."

"Crap."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

"Your sister was my bitch."

"Not anymore, you have Wash."

"I will punish you."

"Ooh, I'm shaking in my armor- Ow!"

Most lines like this were heard every Friday night, but no one got more aggressive than team Heart Gold.

Aka Grif and Simmons.

(Grif hated the gold part.)

They were the most aggressive players on Friday Night Mario Kart, or FNMK for short.

The troops had their own unique rules, and it involved teams. Simmons and Grif were the best gamers there, but sometimes Grif could be lazy, and sometimes Simmons could be bossy.

As if that wasn't suspected.

But they were legitimately good players, working together and easily defeating the others. However, most thought they were too overpowered.

After a while, the most dangerous question was raised.

"Hey... So who do you think is better?" Bitters asked Simmons and Grif.

"Me, obviously." They both said in unison.

They turned to look at eachother, an argument rising.

"Grif, you're way to lazy to do anything."

"This is a video game Simmons, this is what lazy people do."

A slight 'Bow Chicka Bow Wow' was heard in the background.

"I'm a nerd! I would totally beat you on a race!"

"You can't compete Rainbow Road without falling off!"

"Yes I can!"

"Prove it!"

~~~~~

3

2

1

The Cloud-Turtle waved it's flag, signaling for the race to start. Grif and Simmons were in focus, almost scary to the other troops. However, they still cheered for their captains.

"Grif, if I win, you so owe me dessert for a week."

"And if I win, I'm going to lock you in a cave with snakes."

"... Have fun dropping me off when there's-" Simmons passed Grif, leaving a green she'll for him to bump into, "Bats!"

"Oh, you little-" Grif threw a red shell toward Simmons.

The two yelled threats at eachother the whole race, when it was finally the third lap, but they were switching on and off for first and second place.

"C'mon, Simmons!"

"Go Grif go!"

"Give 'em hell!"

"Why are you all yelling?"

The two were nearly tied, a foot away from the finish line when-

Zap.

The TV was unplugged due to Caboose tripping on it. Groans of protest filled the room, and both the competitors threw down the Wii Wheel.

"Dude, this sucks." Grif complained.

"And I was gonna get free food from you..."

"Bull. I was gonna win."

~~~~~

Everyone parted ways, and that left Grif and Simmons to be 'good sports' and tell eachother good job.

"You're a dick."

"Ditto."

After that heartfelt conversation, Simmons turned to leave, when he heard Grif clear his throat, and say:

"Seriously though, good job. We were both pretty close."

Simmons had to redo everything in his brain filed under 'Yellow lazy teammate'. Did Grif actually become the adult of this conversation?

"Wait, what?" Simmons asked, confused.

"Uhh... Look, Nevermind. Night."

Simmons peered at Grif, trying to read his mind or something, but nothing happened.

"Huh. Okay, whatever. Night."

~~~~~

Simmons was thinking about what Grif had done all day.

Literally.

During Kimball's meeting, he was caught zoning out, and it was embarrassing as all hell.

C'mon Simmons; get it together.

Simmons repeated this in his head, and simply came to the solution that he would ask Grif why he decided to be mature for once. I mean, it should be a problem, but for Grif it seemed like one. The guy never does anything right!

Get it together. Get it together. Get it-

"Why are you talking to yourself?" Grif asked, eating an Oreo as he did.

"I'm not...?"

"You keep saying 'Get it together'. You alright...?"

"Oh... Huh, I guess... Well, I thought I was talking in my head..."

"That still counts as talking to yourself."

"No it doesn't, shut up."

Grif rolled his eyes, and took another bite.

"Seriously though... You spaced out like three times today. Are you ok?"

"I guess I should ask you the same question." Simmons replied nonchalantly.

"Why?"

"Why were you so... I donno.. Mature about FNMK?"

"... Huh?" Grif asked, confused, but Simmons could see behind it. Grif was hiding something.

"Don't 'huh' me, what are you hiding?" Simmons squinted, studying Grif.

"Dude. Stop. You look creepy."

"I'm gonna keep asking."

"Why do you care?"

"You asked me the same question earlier!"

"You still haven't answered it." Grif deadpanned.

"Fine. I'm fine. Now answer mine."

"I'm fine." Grif mocked.

"Grif-"

"Don't worry about it... I'm gonna go, see you later..." Grif said, walking away. He sounded slightly annoyed, but there were traces of panic in his voice.

He was hiding something.

(Part 2 Coming soon!)