Red Vs Blue Book of One-Shots

Mama? (D&D Part 3)

(Heh. Title rhymes :3)

The adventurers explored the dungeon with great hopes of defeating this dragon. York was more careful about chests, Donut kept singing innuendos at the top of his lungs, and Simmons kept arguing with Grif about directions.

What a game this turned out to be.

Doc was constantly being asked questions about stuff they can and can't do, but he was actually enjoying the amount of thought they put into these sorts of things. It was quite interesting to watch.

Although the eight of them would never admit it; this was the most fun they've had as a group in years.

Carolina actually smiled for once, and that was like 'finding a diamond in a thrift store' York casually said.

Wash agreed to take it easy and not be so serious, which Tucker was teasing him about the whole time, but remained normal otherwise.

All in all, they were having an awesome time. However, until Doc looked ahead in the story booklet, and saw an error in the storyline.

Long story short, it didn't make sense.

So Doc took this opportunity to add his own... Twist to it.

~~~~~

"Well... This is it guys... The last dungeon." Donut says sadly.

"Why the heck are you sad? We finally made it!" Simmons exclaimed.

"But now the adventure is over." York stated.

Silence followed that, and Doc was secretly smiling at his ending.

"As you enter the dungeon, the iron doors shut behind you without warning. As you step around, you notice that the uneven ground is... Uneven. But looking ahead, you see-"

"It's quicksand! Start moving around!" Grif panicked. Doc was slightly upset that he saw through that, but continued his description.

"Up ahead, you see it. The scaly giant's wings groaned as it woke up, and stretched its neck toward Your direction, and stared at each one of you, stopping at Tucker. In a mighty, ancient voice, it asks: 'Who are you.'"
As Doc said this, he secretly slid Tucker a note that he had written earlier.

(If you are unfamiliar with this game, usually when a character personally realizes something, the DM has to send them a note secretly.)

Tucker raised an eyebrow, and Doc kept his suspicions low as he didn't make eye contact with Tucker, but instead ranted on about the dragon's majestic scales, the Dragonborn warrior read it, and was so close to stabbing Doc after doing so.

"Shit." Tucker groaned, and laid back in his seat, causing him to slide down it slowly.

"What?" Donut asked, confused.

Tucker glared at Doc, and then sighed.

"We can't kill the dragon."

"Why not?" The others asked.

"It's... Uh... It's my mother."

Wash was taking a sip of water as this was announced, hand had to hold his hand in front of his mouth so it wouldn't reach anyone else.

"Your what?!"

"Do I have to say it again?" Tucker complained

"How the hell does that even happen?!"

"When a Mommy Dragon and a Daddy Dragon love eachother very much-"

"I hate you." Grif deadpans.

"Um... How do we... Tame it?"

"I think some seduction one-oh-one should-" York's statement was muffled by Carolina's punch to his arm.

"Guys, just- Look. The whole mission was pointless, let's just go home."

"What home?" Donut asked innocently, but then realized how depressing it actually sounded.

Even the store managers had a look of sorrow in their eyes.

"Donut... Sometimes homes aren't needed for the best adventurers," Doc began.

"I mean yeah, everyone always talks about a home to go to, or a place, but adventurers like you... Have eachother. So let's finish this damn game and watch a movie."

"... Oh my god that was beautiful." Donut said truthfully.

"Agreed." The others said, each having a different emotion in their eyes.

~~~~~

After defeating Tucker's mom (Bow Chicka Bow Wow), The group shook hands with the friendly staff members of the location, and each pair had quite the conversation in their own cars...

~~~Grimmons~~~

"Soooo..." Simmons asked happily as they got in the car, beaming at Grif.

"What'd I do this time?" Grif asked, actually thinking he did.

"How was the game? Did you enjoy it? You're a pretty good front-liner."

"Oh... Yeah. We should do that again."

"Absolutely."

~~~Docnut~~~

"I'm cold."

"Told you." Doc retorted, but still laughed that Donut refused to put on clothing instead of a hula skirt.

"It's for dramatic effect, okay?!"

"Fine, fine... But you've got a pretty good singing voice."

"... Thank you~"

~~~Yorkilina~~~

"You got your hand chomped off by a mimic, I so did better than you!"

"That's just... Details. Whatever. I still won."

"We all won, York. There is no separate winning."

"... Well I win by having you~"

"..."

"..."

"That was cheesy as hell, York."

"I know, I know, I'm still working on it!"

~~~Tuckington~~~

"Tucker?"

"Yeah?"

"I kicked your mom's ass."

"... I fucking hate you."

~~~END~~~

(MEHHHHHH the ending is kinda bad but I don't know what else to do with it

OH WELL

Remember when this was for a hundred views??

NOW WE GOT OVER 350

EEEEEK)