Red Vs Blue Book of One-Shots

Lolix bbys

(Requested by AlisaHale who is a beautiful person :3)

You know those lovely 90's movies where the two main characters have known eachother since they were kids?

Yeah, one grows up to be the nerd and the other a jock/cheerleader with nothing but popularity.

Let's just say that this version isn't your normal Ten things I hate about you.

Allow me to explain.

Locus invisible. In the movies, the jocks would at least learn the name of their victim. Locus was a nobody. Ever since he was a kid, he was always isolated, and kept to himself.

Felix was the one guy in a horror movie who would either be drunk or high.

... Literally and figuratively.

Felix was neutral. He didn't pick on the nerds, and he didn't fit in the cool kids table, but somehow everyone saw him as in between. Not on either side.

Like Locus, Felix didn't fail or ace a class.

They just got a C.

They didn't join any academic bowl or sport.

They just went home right after school.

Well... If they had a home.

The thing that tied the two nobodies together was that they both were adopted. Of course, their parents weren't awful, but they weren't superb.

Just... In between.

But I compared this to a 90's Romantic Comedy, right? So let's see the cheesy childhood bits.

~~con queso~~

"Play nice, you two!" The daycare lady called, putting the two children in the same playpen. Usually, each child would have their own, but they had run out and had to pair two toddlers together.

What a horrible mistake it was to put Felix and Locus together.

"You're on my side." Locus stated, pointing at the line they had rashly drawn out with placing blocked in an uneven order.

"Yeah? What you gonna do about it?" Felix snapped with a harsh tone, pushing the blocks to make more room for himself.

Locus though long and hard about this question, only to answer with: "I'll fight you."

"You'll fight me?"

"I'm gonna fight you."

"Bring it on, baby!" Felix teased.

"I'm not a baby." Locus stated, still calm, "... You're a baby."

(AW HELL NO)

Felix leaped over the castle of blocks and tackled Locus, causing a loud commotion and alerted the daycare lady.

So much for first impressions.

~~~~~

"Hey, Loco!" Felix called out on his walk home, running into his best friend from childhood to current day.

"I've told you time and time again, I am not insane." Locus replied calmly.

"But you're crazy-"

"That doesn't even make sense."

"- for me."

A loud sigh erupted from Locus' mouth.

"I hate you."

"Sure ya do."

"Anyways, how was target practice?"

"Oh, dude, I hit the teacher with a spitball!"

"... I meant your physical education class."

"You mean PE?"

"Yes. That's what physical education means."

"I survived."

Locus nodded and didn't ask anymore questions. The two walked side by side in silence, all the way until Locus' front door.

The two split off and waited for another average day, an average week, an average year, an average life.

But the thing is: they wouldn't grow up to be the same that they always were.

~~Back to the past~~

"Hey Wocus?" Felix asked, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth in the corner of the playpen after a nightmare. It was currently 4am.

"Yeah Flicks?" Locus responded.

"Do you think that we'll be happy?" Felix asked, slightly afraid of his own question.

"What do you mean?" Locus whispered as he sat up to look at his best friend.

"I mean... Do you think that we're gonna suck? And be losers and stuff-"

"Don't say the L-word!" Locus whisper-shouted.

"You mean lesbians?"

"No, I- wait what's a lesbian?"

"I think it's a type of plant."

"Oh. Well no, I mean L-O-S-E-R." Locus spelled out quickly, in chance of being caught.

"Why is it bad?" Felix questioned.

"Because... My mommy told me that there's no such thing that exists. They're like dragons. There's no L-O-S-I-N-G if you don't give up."

Felix hesitated, thinking about Locus' answer, then finally unraveled his legs and went bag into his sleeping bag. All was quiet and satisfied.

Well... That is until Felix scooted his sleeping bag over the line to cuddle next to Locus.

But Locus didn't complain.

~~baCK TO THE FUTURE~~

"Hey, Locus?" Felix asked as he sat in the corner of the mattress, curled up in a ball.

Locus snapped awake instantly, sitting up from his sheets to look around. He found Felix was awoken by what he could assume was another nightmare.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here, what happened?"

"Nothing," Felix stated simply, and it was odd because... He was telling the truth.

"But... Why are you awake?"

"I donno. I felt like it." Felix shrugged.

Locus stared at him in confusion for a couple moments, before shrugging himself and pulling Felix back under the covers. The two fell asleep in each others arms, peaceful and happy with one another.

...

That is, until Felix scooted to Locus' side of the bed and pushed him off.

That time, he did mind.

(SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN YEARS SCHOOL SUCKS BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW)