Red Vs Blue Book of One-Shots

Insanity doesn't always end in blood

(In spirit to the newest RvB where Grey chases Doc around the facility! This is slowly becoming a ship and it seems cool to me :D)

"GET OVER HERE!"

"N-No! You're scary and violent and I don't like it!"

"WELL TOO BAD, YOU'RE MY NEW EXPIREMENT!"

"No!-"

Crash.

Grif head the whole conversation, and so did Sarge. They both thought they should help, but... Nah.

So instead, they both quietly ate their lunch, Sarge eating something manly and Grif eating potato chips. Life was great. Until Doc ran into the mess hall for coverage, slamming the door behind him.

"Aren't you gonna help?!" He asked, voice high pitched from panic.

"Well... We were thinking it." Grif retorted.

"She's running around with some sort of needle, and it's really scary!" Doc complained annoyingly.

"So?" Sarge asked.

"S-So? That's all you have to say? Where is your sanity? Where is your heart?!"

"I must've lost it when I had the duty of training Grif."

"Thanks sir, that's really- Wait you used to have a heart?"

"Guys!" Doc shouted, but not aggressively, just in a panic.

Grif sighed, and leaned back in chair, saying: "Why don't you just go talk to her?"

"You don't think I've tried? She thinks I'm the crazy one!"

"Exactly. So act... Not crazy."

"So... Act crazy in order to not be crazy?" Doc asked, then switched to O'Malley, "That's the worst plan I've ever heard!"

"Well geez, fine, don't use it then." Grif lazily replied.

"B-But I need help- Ow!" Doc said as the door bumped forward, with yell behind it.

"Oooh Doooooc~" Emily said, sounding slightly psychopathic, "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Oh god, please help." Doc said, quite cowardice.

Grif and Sarge looked at eachother, quickly grabbed their food and rushed out as soon as possible, leaving Doc supporting the door being closed with all of his strength.

"L-Look, I don't want any trouble-"

"Of course we do, fool!" O'Malley interrupted, "We want to tear her to tiny pieces!"

"Ooh, Split personalities are the best!" Emily cheered.

"No! They aren't the best! There bad!" Doc panicked.

"Which is why they're the best for analysis! NOW OPEN THIS DOOR!" She terrifyingly screamed.

"I-I'm warning you! I'll-"

~~~???~~~

Doc woke up and saw a blinding light hovering over his face. He winced as he tried to move, and then realized something in a panic.

He was tied down.

Literally.

"What?!" He screamed as he pulled on the wrist restraints, and saw- oh god- Doctor Grey standing over him.

"Oh my goodness! You're awake~ I thought you'd be dead after that whole operation..."

"D-Dead?! Wh-What... Let me go!" Doc yelled, trying his best to contain O'Malley's anger.

"Hmmm... Nah. You're staying here~"

"Let me put or I swear I'll-" Doc cut himself off. He was not going to threaten someone. Just no. Take deep breaths.

After a pause, he finally spoke calmly again.

"Doctor Emily Grey."

"Yes, insane Doctor?"

"Please let me go..."

~~~~~

Grif and Sarge were sitting back down at the mess hall again, eating the same food.

"Hey, Sarge?"

"What, abomination?"

"Do you feel like something is... Missing?"

Sarge thought about it, and then shrugged.

"Summons maybe?" He replied.

"Nah, that's not it... I mean... Something was... Forgotten?"

"... Nope."

Grif sighed, seeing this was going nowhere.

"Fine, fine. I'll drop-"

"GET OFF ME CRAZY WOMAN!" Doc yelled. Running down the hallway, with Doctor Grey following closely.

"NOT TODAY, BLUEBERRY!"

"I'M PURPLE!"