Red Vs Blue Book of One-Shots

Sick, dude

(Guess who is becoming frequently less aware of updating?!?!??
It me sorry Fam)

They had FINALLY gotten the time off.

Grif had grew up by the ocean side nearly all his life (until he ended up having to settle for military bunks), and the thought of waves was a memory crammed back into the depths of Grif's mind. It sounded cheesy, but the idea of sand between his toes and fresh air instead of armor conditioning sounded beautiful, like a gift from the heavens.

Grif finally confronted Simmons.

"I wanna go on a cruise."

Simmons gave him a weird look. It was called for after all, because it was a Tuesday morning and five minutes ago they were talking about alien theories.

"Okay. Why...?

"I miss it. I just wanna go on a beach again." Grif explained.

Simmons didn't really have a problem with it, he had always wanted to go to an island and a boat that wasn't made for fishing.

Plus, vacation sounded more like a necessity than a want at the moment.

The couple discussed it a little bit more, then claimed it was final.

The lazy one and the nerdy one were going on a cruise.

~~~~~

Grif's suitcase was very minimal, small in size but still contained everything he needed.

Simmons looked like the communists were taking his property and had packed his entire life story into bag.

"Jesus dude, what are you bringing?"

"Uh, not much," Simmons replied casually, "Clothes, laptop, some board games, more clothes, a chess set-"

"Okay okay. Keep the clothes. And the laptop. Everything else gets dumped.

"Why?" Simmons complained.

"Because we aren't escaping an apocalypse, now let's go Carl!" Grif joked as he raced out the door.

"The comics were better anyway..." Simmons sighed as he unpacked his bag.

~~~~~

The ship was huge.

"It looks huge."

"Huge?! It looks like a fucking whale ate another whale and then got fucked!" Grif explained.

"... Yeah. That works too."

They grabbed their now 'normal sized' luggage and walked on the boat, admiring the dining halls, lobby area and especially bar.

A nice lady guided them to their rooms and they both flopped down on the bed the second she left, and we're both acting like children.

"I'm on a mother fucking boat, Simmons."

"That's an old meme."

"You're an old meme."

"I'm not old."

"Christ."

~~~~~

I promise they didn't do anything bad, cause they literally just took a nap and watched the free tv shows provided for three hours until the boat left the docks.

A large air horn sounded and swoosh, it was like titanic was a fictional story.

Simmons and Grif clinked wine glasses full of just plain tap water, cause they were cheap, and celebrated the victory of their first vacation.

They snuggled back together to get ready for another episode of sappy soap opera, but then Simmons' face turned into a paler shade of his pale, if that was even possible.

"You okay buddy?" Grif asked.

"Oh my god. I forgot."

"Forgot what..."

"When I unpacked, I forgot... Oh god..."

"Dude, forgot what? I'm sure they're selling extra underwear on the ship-"

"My seasickness medicine! I unpacked it on accident!"

Grif froze.

Fuck.

He didn't know his boyfriend would throw up suddenly in the next five minutes, but it's almost like he knew and had a panic attack five minutes early.

"Oh my god oh my god I'm so sorry I told you to unpack and honestly I feel like shit I should've of told you that I should of know I'm so-"

"It's... It's okay, let's just go to first aid, I'm sure they have some. It's not your fault."

Grif spent the next four minutes apologizing.

Which means time to throw up breakfast.

~~I'll skip that for ya~~

Simmons was eating crackers as he sat by the toilet, wearing a towel around his shoulders. Grif knocked on the door and walked in, looking ashamed as ever and holding roughly 1,000 seasick patches.

"I'm sorry I'm an asshole."

Simmons laughed and dragged his arm to make him sit next to him.

" I told you, it's not your fault. Plus, you hit me patches!"

"Yeah... But they're mostly for advertising. They have the cruise line printed on them."

Simmons took one and begs to place it on his neck.

"I'll deal, as long as we both forget how terrible I look throwing up."

" I believe that requires alcohol."

"... Fine, deal?"

"Deal. Happy vacation, nerd."

"Jerk."

(I swear I'm trying to update I swear

Gimmie more suggestions)