Standing in your way

Chapter 8

"Tell me you didn't really do it" 

"Then put yourself in my shoes, what should I have done?" 

"You certainly shouldn't have gone back to her!" telling Sarah what happened between me and Abigail wasn't the best choice because now I'm here taking a lecture like a child, she probably would have found out on her own anyway

"You even let her fuck you, after days of not coming home and god knows where she's been" she is looking down at me, at this point I don't know how to reply, she's only saying the truth 

"Look I know, but I want to solve things with her, I don't want lo lose her" I broke down in tears, during this time all I do is cry

"Right now you're crying because of her and in the meanwhile she's probably out there fucking her lover" she sits next to me on the couch putting her hand on my shoulder 

"You're not helping me much with this words" I shake my head

"It's the truth Helena, the cruel truth"  I exhale removing her hand. I glance at the screen of my phone checking the time, It's 4 pm, I need to practice that impossible score that Lydia left me. I get up from the sofa and go to get the violin case 

"Sorry Sarah I need to practice for tomorrow, can we hangout another day?"

"Yeah of course, don't worry" she stands up adjusting her shirt " If you want me to help you, just ask" she says indicating the paper

"Oh no, I need to be alone and concentrate otherwise I'll never learn" i take my violin out of the case

"Is it difficult?" she picks up the score letting her eyes wander around

"A lot, really lot, and she expected me to learn it in one night"

"Wow, she's really a bitch"

"Oh you have no idea, she's so bitchy but at the same time-" I stop myself before saying the next words, I can't admit that I find Lydia fucking attractive. I unconsciously blush at the thought of her, and Sarah obviously notices it

"But?" she says with a confused look

"U-Uh at the same time she's really good at doing her job" I feel my cheecks burning, fuck why my body reacts like that 

"Helena you're all red, are you okay?" she comes closer to me 

"Yeah yeah don't worry" I move a lock of hair behind my ear

"Mhh someone have a crush?" she smirks raising an eyebrow

"What? Me? Absolutely forget that, she's a bitch, her behavior is a massive turn off" I blush even harder as id her authority and sense of control didn't actually tunr me on. I contradict myself, very good Helena

"Her behavior, but what about her looks?" I open my mouth to speak but no words comes out, I can't deny the truth it's too obvious

"Well I have to admit that she's attractive but I absolutely don't have a crush on her" 

"If you belive it" I roll my eyes at her 

"Yeah, now if you can leave so tomorrow she won't beat the shit out of me" I indicate the door "Oh but you wish she would" she winks at me 

"Stop it" I shove her as she walks out the door laughing "Bye!" 

"Goodbye" I close the door after her. I return to the couch looking at the paper on the table 

"I can't escape this" 

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It's currently 9 pm, I've been trying this piece for hours and hours but nothing. I don't know what to do anymore.
I put down my violine, I go to the kitchen and grab something to drink, my throat is dry. Abigail returned home almost an hour ago but she said that she was not feeling well so she went straight to bed. I actually saw that she wasn't in the best mood, but I didn't dare to ask