Avadis - A legolas story (slow moving!)

Chapter 34 - Worry and Hope

That evening, Avadis stood alone on the edge of the highest level of the cliff, her arms crossed tight across her chest to help shield her from the cool breezes that descended on them from the mountain, taking time to herself after a long day. Behind her were the tents prepared for her and her friends. She had been put to work almost as soon as she had arrived, helping set up tents, guide horses and prepare food. But now the day was done and it was finally time to rest. 

She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes, frowning slightly as she tried to focus on her mind. Breathe in, the sounds of the horses and clanking metal quietened. Breathe out, and the smells of earth and animals faded too. She was left with only one thing... herself. Keep breathing. Be calm. Keep breathing...

"Be calm" a voice spoke from a memory Avadis kept hidden deep within her mind from a long time ago. 

"Mother?" she spoke, her voice sounding like a little girl again. She opened her eyes and found herself not on a wind swept cliff but in a small cell carved into old wood, with bars blocking her escape. A warm light shone through the opening, created by a large lantern hung over the pathway outside her doorway. Outside, elves silently patrolled narrow passageways, mumbling to themselves in a language she did not understand. "Mother where are you?" She cried out in a panic, running over to the bars and gripping them.

"Be calm and keep breathing. I am here." Her mother's voice drifted across from the cell nextdoor to her. 

"I want to be with you!" the girl cried out louder, reaching her small hand out through the bars to try and be closer to her as tears streamed down her face. "Don't leave me!"

"Avadis do not let fear take over." She felt the cool touch of her mother's hand grasp around hers. "Focus on my voice. Calm your mind."

"I don't know what that means!" the girl cried louder, tears streaming down her face, "I just want to be with you!"

"I know my sweet," her mother sighed and rubbed her thumb over the knuckles. "I know. Hush now..."

The memory faded and Avadis was swept back to reality, opening her eyes and gasping for air. That was a dark memory, one she had buried deep down to ensure it would never come to light. Some things were best kept hidden. She looked down at her hand, running her fingers over the spot where her mother hand done the same all those years ago. "Be calm, and keep breathing. Calm your mind" she whispered. That was it. She had to keep her mind calm and not let fear bring her down. Her mother had tried to teach her that all those years ago, but she had not understood.

"You should get some rest" Aragorn spoke up from behind her as he approached the edge of the cliff. Avadis looked at him a moment, studying his face. He was by far the most calm of all the men camped here. He showed no sign of worry or fatigue, only stoic determination. 

"Do you not worry? For the battle or the future, even in the darkest moments of night?" She asked him. 

"If there is cause for worry, then there is greater opportunity for good to prevail" he replied, looking out to the distance with his arms crossed over his chest. 

Avadis shook her head to the ground with a small smile, "you have spent too long with Gandalf, you've begun to speak with riddles?" She paused a moment longer. "But I do believe you are right. Only I find that instead worry only turns to fear, and then to desperation."

He placed a hand on her shoulder, looking at her with a surprisingly stern expression. "Only if you let it be so. And so let us not think about possibilities of failure when there are still chances of success. Only when you see no way out can you begin to think such ways." He squeezed her shoulder and gave her a small shake. "I think you need to rest and shake these thoughts from your mind. You have had a long day. Do not be too harsh on yourself."

Avadis nodded her head and placed her hand on his other shoulder in response. "You are right. Thank you Aragorn. I will go, but not before saying the same to you. Make sure you rest and your mind is clear." He nodded and she smiled and let go, walking away towards her tent.  

"Avadis?" Aragorn called back to her, and she stopped and turned to face him, both being lit only by the faint light of the moon that hid away behind the clouds. He looked down to his hands and then back up towards her, "if I asked you to, would you follow me? Would you trust me to lead you no matter the odds?"

She frowned slightly, confused as to why he was asking her this. She paused a moment, contemplating her words before replying, "we have known eachother only a few months now, but you surely know that I would follow you anywhere. I am proud to be invited to fight at your side, and I will surely fight by my life or death if it means fighting alongside you my friend."

He placed a hand to his chest, "you will never understand what those words mean to me."

"Do not let worry turn to fear Aragorn. You have such great confidence in all those around you, but you must also have faith in yourself." She gave him a reassuring smile, before nodding and turning to walk through the flap of her tent and away from Aragorn, who was still stood on the edge of the cliff.

Neither knew the heavy burden the other carried, and yet these words shared between the two helped to seal their decisions, and decide the fates of many. Aragorn would need to step up into the leader he was destined to become, a leader who Avadis would follow until death takes her from his company.