Avadis - A legolas story (slow moving!)

Chapter 32 - To leave or not to leave

"Avadis! Avadis wake up we are leaving!" Merry banged on her door, impatiently hopping from one foot to the other. He had not seen her all morning, and more worryingly, no one else had either. The rest of the company had packed their things away and were meeting at the edge of the walls to leave. "Avadis! All your things are on the horses! We must go!" He yelled out, before giving up and opening the door to peek his head into the room. Empty. 

The bed had hardly been slept in, and her bag was gone. The curtains flew up to the ceiling as gusts of strong wind swept into the room through the opened windows. "Surely you have not gone" he whispered, full of concern for his friend as he made his way to the window to peer down at the growing crowds. But from the sight of the room, it was easy to piece together the clues in his mind. No bag, no cloak, open window and most crucially, no Avadis. "What am I going to tell the others?" he whispered, still peering down with his head sticking out of the window.

"Do not panic Merry, I have not gone." 

It seemed to the hobbit as if Avadis had somehow materialised into the room behind him, and he jumped so high that he whacked his head on the top of the window beams. He looked over at her, rubbing his forehead and frowning. "Where have you been? I've been worried!"

She smiled, not her usual smile, but a sad and almost forced smile. "I just needed to do some things before we left, that is all." Merry studied her up and down, noticing the dirt on her clothes, the tiredness behind her eyes and the way her hands shook slightly by her side. He frowned with suspicion and his eyes narrowed, "what kind of things?"

Avadis did not respond at first, instead she walked over to the drawers across from her bed and removed her cloak, folding it carefully and placing it carefully in her bag which hung to her side. 

"Visiting a friend, that was all. I had some questions that needed to be answered." Her movements slowed to a stop as she finished her last sentence, and she stared down at her hands for several moments, her mind obviously in another place. 

"And were they answered?" Merry asked, bringing her back to reality as she jumped slightly and looked at him, quickly forcing herself to smile. "Yes, yes, they were. All is well, Merry. You must understand that travel is much different for someone like me, my mind is simply preoccupied thinking of anything I might have forgotten to pack with me."

He sat up on her bed and swung his feet back into the mattress below him. "You must have to travel lightly if you are to be flying, surely your weapons weigh you down."

Avadis' eyes brightened, "weapons! That was it. I gave only my spare arrows to Legolas to pack with him, I am bringing the rest with me"

Merry thought to himself that it was very unlike her to forget her weapons, especially since they were preparing to leave for war. But she insisted that she was alright, and he trusted her. 

Avadis brought out the rest of her weapons from a box beneath the bed, stashing each one away to carefully crafted pockets hidden in her clothing. She wore her travel clothes, not for riding but for flying, clothing created by her people to help them travel even through the coldest winds. They were a form of overalls, made from leather and dark black fabric. The top was a crafted corset with hidden pockets that hid small throwing knives, and there were more pockets running down the outside of her pants, which flowed down to her feet with loose material to allow for flexibility. Underneath her overalls, she wore a long-sleeved knitted burgundy jumper, protecting her from the cool winds as she flew. 

She placed her two short swords neatly on either side of pockets tucked to her thighs, and hung her bow behind her back which fitted into place in the middle of her wings.

"Now, lets go shall we? Are you all set?" She held her hand out and the hobbit nodded, leaping from the bed and holding her hand as the pair set out down the corridor and out of the building. 

Avadis had transformed from a semi-Rohan woman back to the fearsome warrior that Merry had met at their battle with the Ents, she walked with the same confidence in her stride, and spoke with the same comforting voice as she always had. But even with all this, he still saw how her eyes were red and her face worn, and felt how her hands shook as they held tightly onto his. 

...

The two arrived shortly later at a bustling mess of men and horses, each shouting at eachother to be heard over the clanking of armour and stamping horses hooves. "Come, let us find Aragorn so that you may ride with him" Avadis tugged Merry along as they ducked and weaved through the tangle. 

"Avadis! Merry!" Eowyn came riding towards them, her hair falling freely behind her. It was a tradition that the women ride with the men to camp, to bid them farewell and good luck for the fight ahead. Avadis had been glad that she was not under the instruction of the king, because she doubted he would allow her to fight for this reason, as well as many others. 

"Eowyn! It is good to see you." Avadis smiled up at her, raising her hand away from Merry to block the sunlight from her eyes. "Have you seen Aragorn? Merry is to ride with him."

She turned her horse around in a slow circle, scanning the crowds. "I cannot see through the sea of helmets before my eyes to find him. Come, will you not ride with me?" 

Merry jumped forwards, "I would be honoured, my lady." He did an awkard little bow which made Eowyn laugh. "I would be glad for your company Merry, now meet me by the fence gate and I will collect your bags for you." She rode away in search of Merry's belongings. 

Merry looked back over at Avadis with a beaming smile, but noticed that she once again had her gaze drawn away into the distance, with a frown on her face. "Avadis?" He took her hand again gently and whispered, "are you not well? Do you not want to take this journey?" 

To his surprise, when Avadis looked down to him, he saw that her eyes were filling with tears. She placed her hands on the hobbits shoulders. "My little friend, you do so well to look after me." A small but genuine smile appeared on her face as she paused a moment, "I will tell you this. Last night, I met with a very old friend. Older than you could even dare to imagine. He told me some news which I found unexpected, and it is this which is weighing heavily on my mind." She took a deep breath in and looked at the hobbit, whose face was filled with concern. 

"Is this news about the war?" He barely managed to whisper out, and Avadis felt the fear which began to creep into his mind. 

"No. No, Merry do not let doubts cross into your mind. Doubt is the destroyer of hope, and it is hope that we are all clinging to. This news is for me, which has brought up... memories I had forgotten. I simply need the time to consider it. I will be good again soon I promise." 

Merry nodded his head slowly, "and... I cannot help you with this, I suppose?" 

She smiled and stood up, "not this time my friend. But you have been more than enough to me already. Go, find your ride. I will meet with you when we camp."

Merry nodded once more and walked away. Avadis turned and began to walk in the opposite direction when she felt two arm wrapping around her middle. "Just don't leave us" Merry said to her, letting her go and taking one last look before disappearing away into the crowd. 

"I don't want to" she whispered in reply as she watched him go. "But it seems now that perhaps it would be for the best."