Tere Liye .....

chapter 11

Pankhuri pov ......

After giving birth to you .....I will have no purpose left in my life .
I will go to my mother.....

I decided to end my life after she left me but How I could have killed you .
Also I am  indebted to your parents.....they gave me money to get my mother treated....

I have to bring you to life . They are really nice people. You are really lucky that you will have such a lovely family unlike me who doesn't have anyone....

But it's okay ....I am happy for you ....I don't know what relation I have with you ....but I promise to take care of you for the next 8 months .

As You are my reason to survive for now .....
I hope you don't have to face any kind of hardship in your life like I did.

My blessings will always be with you . Although I am not your mother, but we  share a unique bond.

I will bring you to this world and you are helping me to survive here for the upcoming few months.

I miss my mother every single minute....she was my everything.....she use to feed me with her own hands .....

You will know about mother's love ones you will get out of me and meet your original mother.

I am sure she will also feed with you with her own hands and will take care of you.
You also have grand parents too and they really nice people and are eagerly waiting for you.......I said caressing my flat stomach.

Although there are no visible sign of pregnancy as it's just the 5th week but I know I have a little life growing inside me .

I wiped my tears and looked at the Birds that were flying back to their home as it's already evening.
But I don't even have a home now .....

No body is waiting for me to return back ....and the thought made me teared up again. As I remembered how my mother used to call me.

Now the phone never rings as I have no one left to call me asking me to return home ....

My sobs became painful as my throat start to hurt ....
It's so painful to survive every single day .....

I heard some foot steps approaching me and I immediately wiped my tears .
It was Sanjana and her husband.

She was all ready to leave for New York for her work .
Have your food and medicine on time okay ....She said to me and I forced a smile to her .
Take care of the baby ... She said holding my hand and I nodded at her.

Come ....or you will get late for your flight....her husband said and she nodded.
He looked at me for a moment before walking away with her .

As it was getting dark I also got inside the house and walked to my room .
Areyyy Pankhuri......come sit with us....Room mei kya karogi beta ......

Have tea with us .....tumhe toh pasand hai na chai aur ab toh Vidyut bhi ghar nahi hai..... Sanjana ko Airport drop karne gaya hai .......Aunty said and I nodded at her .

I sat on the couch and she gave me a cup of tea.
I thanked her forcing a smile and sipped my tea .

I sat with Uncle and Aunty for sometime and then came back to my room .

I laid on the bed without turning on the light as my eyes hurt due to crying.

I laid on my bed covering my self with my mother's dupatta and closed my eyes.
My eyes became heavy and I felt asleep.

I woke up when Aunty shook me a little and I sat up rubbing my eyes adjusting to the light.

Bete Bina khana khaye hi so gai....chalo .... khana khaa lo ....she said and I nodded.
As I got up from the bed that he was also there behind his mother and was looking at me .

I walked in the washroom and joined them on the dining table.
Aunty herself served me the healthy food and I quitely started eating.

You can join your collage again from next week .....He said making me look up .
Aunty and Uncle also looked at me .

Vo _ ab toh time chala gya....exam start hone vale honge ab toh .....I said feeling nervous and uneasy as they all were looking at me .

Haan toh abhi kuch time hai ....exam de do ...nahi clear hua toh next time de dena ..... exam ke beech mei bhi off hota hai ....and I can arrange a tutor and notes for you .......He said and I didn't said anything.

Nobody said anything after that and I quitely finished my food and had my medicine.

I came out of the house and started walking in the garden as doctor suggested.

I was lost in my thoughts and didn't realise his presence until he cleared his throat.

I looked at him with a frown . Why this man comes every where.
Jiii_ I asked looking at him and he just started walking signalling me to continue my walk.

He is here to check on Me if I am Doing the walk or not ....I thought.
Collage kyu nahi Jana chahti ab ..... pehle toh tum khud permission lene aai thi ......He asked me taking me by surprise.

Pehle baat kuch aur thi .....ab mujhe kuch nahi karna hai.....I said and he looked at me for a moment.

Kyu .....ab kya ho gya .....he asked and I didn't answered anything and looked ahead .

Why he wants me to send to the college all of a sudden. Why don't he mind his work ....I thought.

Dekho Ghar pe Sara din tum vese bhi bore ho jati hogi ....college jaogi ...apne dosto se milogi ......tumhe acha lagega ......He said and I sighed.

Mei asse hi thik hu ....... aur mere koi dost nahi hai .....I said calmly to end this topic.

Kyu nahi hai dost tumhare .....he inquired and I looked at him with a frown.
Why is he so intrested in knowing about my life all of sudden.....I thought and stumbled upon on a stone.

I shrieked a little with the fear of falling down but he held me on time ..
Dhyan kaha hai tumhara....abhi gir jaati toh .....he scolded me worried about his child.

I looked away straightening my self .
Let's sit there.....he said walking towards the chair and I am irritated with his behaviour now .

Why can't he just leave and let me be on my own .
But I followed him quitely and sat on the chair beside him not having any other option.

Dekho ....I know you are going through a really rough phase of your life ...but you can't do anything about it other then to make peace with the fact that whatever happened has already happened.

Nobody could change it ...
It's not easy...but You can try atleast.
It's not Good for you to be mentally stressed....He said .

I didn't say anything as I know he is concerned about his child. As my mental health could affect the baby .

I am trying.....I said looking down in my lap .
Would you like to visit a psychiatrist....He asked and I looked at him with frown .

I am not mentally unstable....I told him feeling offended.
I know and that's not what I mean . I just want you to open up to someone who could..maybe help you in getting better.....He said ..

Nahi Mujhe kisi se baat nahi karni.....baat karne se kya ho jaayega.....Reality toh yahi  Rahegi na ki meri Maa nahi hai ....mei akeli hu ....

Aapko pareshan hone ki jaroorat nahi hai ....mei vo sab kar rahi hu jo doctor ne mujhe bola hai ....aapka bacha thik hai ....

Trust me ....abhi meri life mein  ek yahi   motive bacha hai .....mei apna kaam ache se karungi....meri vajah se bache ko kuch nahi hoga.....I said and he looked at me for a minute without saying anything.

Kal subh ready ho Jaana ....tumhare college chalenge....he said getting up .
Mujhe nahi jana ....I said and he started at me blankly.

8 am.....after breakfast...He stressed and left from there making me sigh .

What is wrong with this man .
Isse acha toh ye apni wife ke saath chala jata .......

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