Tere Liye .....

chapter 45

Pankhurii pov........

A month later....

I smiled sadly looking at the moon and a lone tear escaped my eyes.

I am here sitting in the lawn at midnight waiting for my husband to show up as today is Karwa Chauth and I had fasted for him..

I am hurt ...I am angry...I am disappointed with him but nothing could not just change the fact that I love him and he is my husband the father of my baby .

It's been a month since we talked with each other ....we act to be Normal in front of the family and it's quite easy as he doesn't stay home that often ......

He drinks every night and passes out on the balcony only .
I go to check him once and my heart hurt seeing him like this .

I had tried hard to explain him things ....But he had just believed the fact that I betrayed him .

He knew that I am fasting for him ...Maa had told him in the morning still he didn't returned.
He is hurting himself along with me  .

I have worn a red anarkali dress today as he doesn't like me wearing a saree .
I got ready for him but he doesn't care .
I know he visits my room every morning when his hangover gets over .

Many times I had found him crying after getting drunk .
I help him to the bed every night and he often shares how betrayed he feels but he doesn't remember anything after getting back into his senses.

I came back to the present as his car finally entred the gate and stood up .
He was heavily drunk and was going inside but I called his name and he turned back to me .

He came to me and then looked at me from head to toe .
Kisi shaddi mei jaa rahi ho itna tyar hoke ....He asked me with a chuckle and a tear escaped my eye that I wiped hurriedly..

Aaj Mera fast tha..... I whispered looking at him .
Ohhhhhh fast..........I see......but tumhe kya jaroorat thi rakhne ki haan .....you didn't have to do all these formalities you know....

Kha leti khana .....tumhare dhoke se nahi mara toh vrat todne ya na rakhne se toh nahi marunga na ....He said in a painful voice and then fell down on his knees loosing his balance.

I cried seeing his state and tried to help him but he shook his head.
Rehne do Pankhurii....ab tumhara bhrosa nahi raha .....sahar dekar pata nahi kab chod do .....he said and stood but holding the bench and I sobbed .

Chalo kar lo jo karna hai aur khana kha lo .....he said standing in front of me and wiped my tears with his hand.

I did his aarti and put a tilak on his forehead.
He held the glass of water and made me sip it opening my fast .

I was about touch his feet but he held me and shook his head .
Rehne do .......he said and patted my head making me cry even more .

Roo kyu Rahi ho ......ho gya na fast ab toh ...he said cupping my face and cried attaching his forehead with mine.

We both were crying profusely but then he backed away and turned to go and was about to collide with the coffee table but I held him on time and escorted him inside .

Chaliye khana khaa lete hai.....I said grabbing his hand .
He refused but I didn't listened to him and forcefully made him sit on the chair .

I forwarded a morsel to him and tears flowed out of his eyes and he shook his head .
I felt like my inside shattering seeing him like this but he is the one who is causing pain to both of us .

I know I should have told him before but it was not intentional.

I somehow made him eat few bites and he did the same to me .
I don't know whether he will remember all this tomorrow or not but I felt a bit happy at this moment.