Chapter 98 - Confessions

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The fire crackled softly in the hearth, and a piece of wood slid into place, spraying tiny sparks

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

The fire crackled softly in the hearth, and a piece of wood slid into place, spraying tiny sparks. The warming glow wrapped around his body like a cloak, trying to drive the cold from his limbs. But the cold clung to his limbs like he was up to his neck in mire. He was nervous, kneading his hands restlessly and trying to calm his nerves. The waiting look Eve gave him from the side didn't exactly help him to collect himself.

Now, he had the chance to speak out, but he did not know where to start. His thoughts suddenly seemed to have been swept clean, the gears of his mind stuck together. He had thought about a thousand sentences, rolled the words back and forth, and played through how she might react. And now?

Where should he start? How could she understand him?

At the very beginning?

How he had met Dylan?

What they once had in common and why he trusted him?

No, that would go beyond the scope.

He had to concentrate on the essentials.

But where did it all begin, and where did it end?

Damn it, why was he so confused?

He wanted to scream out his frustration as he leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. Was this how you felt when you were about to lose everything that meant anything to you? When you loved and ... the pain of a stupid mistake was eating you?

"I never wanted you to find out like this," he finally broke the silence after taking a deep breath and turned his gaze back to Eve. He struggled to look her in the eye. Preferably, he would have kept his eyes lowered like a dog that had fucked up. "I wanted to tell you. For a long time ... but every time..." Ray faltered and felt like a fish on land for a heartbeat, desperately gasping for air as he searched for the right words. Preferably ones that wouldn't put his foot in his mouth or make things worse. "The right opportunity just never presented itself," he finally sighed, watching Eve's face contort as if she had bitten into a lemon.

"Which is no excuse," he quickly interjected as the young mother opened her mouth to retort. "It shouldn't have come to this at all. It was all a big mistake. I know that. And it was my fault, all my own."

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