You are everything ⴵ [Natasha Romanoff]

Chapter 40

Chapter 40
Claire's POV

It's been three days since Nat returned from her mission and I have tried my hardest to talk to her any chance I got. She was avoiding me and she was doing a freaking great job of it.

One night I finally ran into her downstairs while everyone else was asleep. She was sitting in a chair by the window watching the rain. She was sitting so still I had no idea she was there. I turned the light on and she scared the hell out of me.

"Sorry I- I didn't know you were down here" I apologised quickly. "Can we please talk?".

Nat frowned. She looked so sad. I could also see she hadn't been sleeping. Her eyes were red and circled by dark lines. The way she was slumped in the chair also told me she was eating her self up with guilt.

"Please don't make this harder Claire" she said. "Just please go".

How do you get someone so stubborn and guilt ridden to listen?

I honestly had no idea what to say. For days I had been going over in my head what I would say to Nat to try and convince her to let me back in, to forgive herself. But now that I was standing here in front of her I was at a loss of words. I knew anything I would try would be in vain, but I still needed to try.

"Do you really want me to go?" I asked. It came across a lot more sad sounding than I had meant it to.

Nat shook her head and look away from me looking out of the window into the dark.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I don't want you to go but if you don't then I can't stay" she frowned.
"You can stay, I want you to stay. Please" I begged.
"No Claire I can't, I don't want to hurt you again" she said with a shaky voice.

I slowly walked closer to her but she instantly got up and backed away from me as I got closer.

"You're not going to hurt me" I said as tears began to fall again.
"No please don't cry, please Claire".

I could see Nat was about to start crying herself. For a second she started to reach out for me and I thought that she was going to take me into her arms like I had be hoping for. It's like a moment of realisation washed over her and she stopped herself. She withdrew her hand and coiled back into her self.

"I can't put you at risk like that ever again Claire. This can't continue. We have to stop this. You and me, it has to be over" she said walking past me and out of the room
"Please Nat, I need you" I whispered.

After that I didn't see which direction she left in. It's like my whole world collapsed. Everything I had ever wanted was gone. I sat in the seat nearest to me and I sobbed. I didn't care how loud I was crying or if anyone could hear me, my heart just broke.

Nat's POV
"Please Nat, I need you"

Hearing those words leave Claire's mouth was soul destroying. She was still hurting and again it was because of me. I didn't want to do this. All I wanted was to run back and hold her and never let go. But this was the only way I knew I could keep Claire safe. Distancing myself was the only way. I was doing what I thought was right for Claire, but it felt so so wrong.

As I walked away I heard Claire let out the most heart breaking cry. I chocked out a cry as I quickly ran back to my room.

What the fuck have I done?

My sweet Claire was downstairs crying after I had just broken up with her and I just ran and hid. I know for a fact I just made the worst decision of my life.

Claire's POV
After Nat walked off I walked outside and sat up against the outside of the building by the glass doors. I wasn't sure what to do. Clint told me to make her listen but I honestly didn't know how to. And now it all felt futile. Everything felt pointless.