lonely|nettspend

018

Yasmine Hart
5:07 pm

                     * 3 days later *

after i quit my job me and gunner have been hanging out alot and right now i was staying with him temporarily until i felt mentally stable and i wasn't gonna do anything bad.

as me and gunner were watching a movie my mom called me so i went to go answer the call in a different room "hello" i said as i answered "can you please come home" she said crying and i was confused on why "is everything ok" i said worried "no just come home" she said hanging up.

so i went back to the room to tell gunner "hey um i gotta go my mom needs me and it sounds important" i said as i got my stuff "you sure you good " he asked getting up and i just shrugged before he kissed me goodbye and i went to my car and left.

i didn't really want to see my mom but at the end of day she was still my mom and i cared about her feelings even though she never cared about mine.

as i pulled in the driveway i saw her car still missing so i was confused on how she even got here.

once i got inside i saw her on the floor crying "what happened" i said walking towards her "your uncle john died" she said still crying "who's john" i said confused "your uncleee" she said yelling and slurring her words "are you drunk" i questioned and then she ran to the bathroom and that told me everything i needed to know.

i hate when she would do this and only come to me when she needs me but when i was at my lowest she didn't even help not even when i asked.

and seeing her sick was making me sick so i decided to leave her and go back to gunner's house.

when i got there i was practically about to cry so we went on a walk and we just talked about our trauma to each other.

"so why's your mom never home" i asked "idk. she thinks my music is stupid and that i'm never gonna make it so she just left but recently she's started talking to me more" he said before saying something again "why don't you and your mom have a good relationship" he asked "because she doesn't care about me and never has and never will" i said and he just pulled me in for a long hug.

i truly think no one will ever care about me the way he does.

once we got back gunner immediately fell asleep but i didn't so i decided to smoke so i went outside and decided to listen to music with my headphones while i smoked as mascara by deftones was playing i was just staring into space and rethinking life while hitting the blunt and vibing to the song but rethinking life at the same time.

once i was done i decided to go to sleep so i got in the bed next to gunner and was still thinking about everything that has happened in the last month and i felt a random wave of sadness over come me so i decided to not let my emotions take over and just go to sleep.

btw don't do drugs.