Lost Star | MekayaKaBa? Mikhaiah Au

- Absence -

-Mikha-

I closed my eyes.  After cooling down, I decided to sleep na din. Masyado akong na drained sa pinaggagawa ni Aiah sakin.

Aiah is sleeping na ata. She's not moving na man. She is so drunk talaga.

"M-mikha." I was about to fall into slumber ng mag salita si Aiah.

"Hmmmm" I didn't bother to face her. My eyes is already closed and I am laying on my back. I'm too tired to move a muscle.

From making buhat sa kanya hanggang sa paliguan sya, my energy is at zero percent right now.

Naramdaman kong gumalaw si Aiah. She hugged me and pinatong yung isang leg niya sakin. Great! Now I'm awake.

"A-aiah, you need to sleep na. Mag i-island hopping pa tayo bukas." really, I need to sleep na din.

Aiah didn't answer. Maybe nag s-sleep talk lng to dala na din ng kalasingan. Aiah is still hugging me and mas siniksik pa yung mukha niya sa leeg ko — I let her be. Again, I am so tired to move a muscle.

I'm ready to be taken na sa dreamland when I felt something warm sa leeg ko. It's Aiah.

"You smell so good, Mikha." Aiah whispered.

WHAT THE —

What Aiah did send something crazy to my whole system because that move made me shiver — in a good way.

Aiah was planting soft kisses on my neck. Then I felt that she's sucking me leaving her marks. Binabaliw ako ni Aiah.

I was stoned. Di ako naka galaw. I let Aiah do whatever she wanted to. Oh, I definitely know kung san to papunta.

Aiah's kisses became aggressive — it's like she was craving for something.

I can feel Aiah's body moving na rin, the side hug earlier is now more like Aiah trying to get on top of me.

I really have no power to move na. I just surrendered. Maybe di niya rin to ma remember bukas. Better not bring this up nalang.

Aiah continued what she's doing when I felt that she's now really on top of me. I tried to regain my strength, I was about to move Aiah but she cupped my face.

She's sitting on top of me, looking me straight in the eye. It's like she's staring directly into my soul.

"I really like you, Mikhs. Crush na crush kita when I first saw you sa face time. You looked like a dumbass na nakafocus sa screen, literally making bantay of the call. Such a dork! It hurts to know na you didn't even find me interesting." I felt a pang on my chest when I heard those words from Aiah.

I was trying so hard to deny that I am starting to like her too and I didn't know that my actions during the bonfire games hurt her.

I reached for her face. I tucked the loose strands of her hair and smiled.

"I like you too, Aiah. But.." I know she's drunk and may not remember this but it's better this way at least I can vent out what's stopping me to fall for her.

"...but I cannot love someone yet. Not that I am not yet complete." that's true. Since 'that' tragic day, I can feel that there is a void in my self. Yung kahit physically I am complete, I know deep down inside there is something missing. And unless I get answers about A, I will never be complete.

Pano ko ibibigay ang sarili ko sa taong mamahalin ko kung hindi naman ako sigurado sa buong pagkatao ko?

This is why I need to find A. I just want answers. This happened na before when I was in the US. My bestfriend confessed that she loved me but because I am so consumed with finding A, I cannot commit to anything and also, I don't have any romantic feelings for her din. She's good, she is very considerate to me and I can feel that she really cared but I cannot reciprocate the kind of love she's giving.