Without you - Nikki Sixx fan fiction

Ch70 Nichals becomes a man at a price

*******ALL WARNINGS APPLY. For this chapter I have Nichals tell the tell of trying to lose his virginity. This is all fiction.

Nikki- I'm going to let Nichals tell this since it was his adventure.
All I'm going to put here is that two days after Beth's appointment
Decker came up to me and said he was willing to pay to have sex. It
caused us to get into a fight. He took off and I spent the night
pacing. That day I wouldn't give him money, so I was worried the
entire night. I hated to tell Beth that I got him mad enough to run
off. She had spent that day at a spa I sent her to.

I didn't have the heart to tell her, so I just told her he was with
Neil which was half true. When I didn't come to bed she came down
and seen me crying holding the phone. "Nikki what's wrong?" I looked
up because she caught me off guard.

"Nothing baby. Go back to bed."

"Bull. Talk to me." She took the phone and sat next to me.

"Alright I lied about Decker. He came to me this morning begging for
money. When I asked what he needed it for he said for a hooker. I
told him no and we got into a fight and now he's out there mostly
likely getting his ass kicked because he couldn't pay for it. It's
all my fucking fault. I should have been paying more attention to his
needs."

"Nikki calm down. Maybe he's staying at Neil's." This is where I'll
let him take over then I'll come back.


Decker- I guess I'm writing this. It's kind of stupid really. I had
a feeling mom was having twins. My dad hit his head when he passed
out so when mom came home dad staggered in behind her. John and Tommy
were helping him in the house and he had a headache for a few days.

After I went down on Valery I wanted more. All my male friends all
lost their virginity at 13 and here I was 16 almost 17. It was
embarrassing and I started lying about stuff. I lost Valery
because of it. Neil came up with the idea that he knew a few hookers
his dad knew. Only they wanted something from our dads and a
thousand dollars for two hours.

Neil came up with what they wanted so I decided to talk to dad about
it. I still wasn't really sure what to do. I mean I learned how to
lick pussy from Tommy which if dad found out he would be mad. That
and once I walked in on my dad. Bad image and it took forever to get to go away.

Anyway, the second I said the word hooker to dad he freaked out. "No
out of the question. You're not going to pay to have sex. Decker why
can't you wait till you find someone you really love?"

"Because I'll be waiting for ever and I'll die a fucking virgin."

"Decker you have you're...."

"Don't tell me I have my whole life ahead of me. It's not true. I
could die at any given moment. You lost your virginity when you were
13."

"That doesn't matter. It was stupid and fucking pointless. I didn't
know that sex could be enjoyable till your mother and me made out.
This is why I'm telling you..."

"Yeah, to wait. Whatever. Fine I'll find the money some other way
myself."

"Nichals Decker Ferrana don't you walk out that door. You walk out
don't you dare come back." He yelled and he's never called me
Nichals unless he was mad.

I just took one of his pictures off the wall as I was walking out.
It was one of my mom's favorite one's and I didn't think she'd miss
it. It was an 8 x 10 in a frame of him. It looked like it was taken
backstage during the theater of pain tour because he was wearing
that black and white outfit he wore in the video home sweet home.

Neil was waiting on me since dad really wouldn't let me drive
because after Thanksgiving, he grounded me and took my keys to car
for eating Valery out in the front yard. Anyway, I got in Neil's car
and looked at him. "He said hell no. What we going to do now?"

"Do you still have your own account?"

"Yeah, but I can't access it till I graduate."

"Ok how about I pay for it and you pay me back." We shock on it and
we went into the city of LA. I seen Sam walking down sunset.

"Dude stop the car. Here give this to the girls." Neil stopped and I
jumped out. "Samantha!!! SAM!!!" I yelled and she stopped and I ran
up to her.

"Nichals what's up?" We hugged and then there was a small awkward
moment. "Want to hang out with me? There's a party over here at the
dragonfly."

"Sure. I missed you." I took her hand in mine and she blushed.

"Missed you to." It felt so right being with her again and I turned
off my cell. This was when cell phones were still new and they were
big. We had a good time and both got a bit drunk. Someone was
sneaking us alcohol and I went back to her place.

I thought this was better than some hooker. We sat on her bed and I
was feeling really good. "Have you ever done ecstasy before Nick?"
She said and I shock my head no at her. She took this pill and broke
it in half. She put it in my mouth and put the other half in hers.
She laid on her side taken off her shoes. "You going to crash here?"

"Yeah, my dad and I had a fight." I laid down after I took off my
boots.

"Did anyone ever tell that if you dyed your hair jet black and it
was longer than it is now that you'd look like Nikki Sixx?"

"Yeah, I've been told that a few times. Can we not talk about them?"

"You're not a Crue fan?"

"Who isn't a fan I'd just rather not talk about music right now.
Let's talk about what you've been up to lately."

"Nichals, music will always be number one for me. I love it it's like
a part of my life and my number one thing to do is meet the Crue.
Mainly Nikki...." I kissed her passionately which I never done to her
before. Normally she'd go on and on about my dad. Of course, I never
told her my last name. The ecstasy started working because we both
started getting really hot.

We took each other's clothes off and she gave me my very first blow
job. I was in heaven, but it still wasn't enough for me. I was so out
of it and I had to have her. She put a condom on me and I threw her
down. It was like my body took over and knew what to do. As I was
fucking her she dragged her nails down my back driving me insane. I
lost it.

I couldn't catch my breath and I couldn't see straight. "Uh god
what's happening?"

"Just let it out Nichals. Let it all cum out."

"UH GOD. I want my mom." The next thing I knew was I was on the
floor crying because my chest was hurting. I couldn't catch my
breath and this guy was hitting me. I could hear Sam screaming at
the guy.

"He's just a kid Kurt." Then I remembered there was this beautiful
red head's face. She looked like an angel and almost like my mother.

"Hey you ok?" I tried to say something, but I still couldn't
breath. "It's ok an ambulance is on its way. Can you tell me your
name?"

I managed to hand her my cell phone and get the words out, "Nichals
Sixx." The last thing I remember was her turning on the phone. After
that nothing.


Nikki- After Beth calmed me down, she called Neil. Neil told her
Decker bailed when he seen his old girlfriend walking down sunset.
That freaked Beth out. She started getting upset saying that this
girl was in a band and was trying to get Decker to try coke.

Well, that got me upset. So, I called Tommy and I took Beth's hands in
mine. "Baby as god is my witness I swear that I will find him.
Please don't do this. Let me deal with this. You don't need to deal
with this not in your condition. He's a smart kid. Tommy's going
with me. I swear to you I will bring him home. Don't cry please
don't cry."

I stood up and the phone rang. I picked it up as Tina took Beth
upstairs. "Uh is this, Nikki Sixx?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

"My name is Tonya. Do you have a son named Nichals?"

"Yes, do you know where he is?" I looked at Tommy who was biting on
his fingers.

"Yes, their taken him to City of Angles. I found him out here in this
alley. He couldn't breathe and he looked like someone hit him."

"Thanks, I'm on my way." I hung up before she could say anything
else. "Some girl found him in an alley. Let's roll."

"You think Beth..."

"Beth will be fine. Tina and my half sister will take care of her."
I noticed Beth's favorite picture of me was missing on the way out
the door. When I got to the hospital this red head came up to
us. "You Tonya?" She shock her head. "Where's my son?" She pointed
to the back which was a door that went to ICU. She looked like she
was crying. I want back and Tommy stayed to talk to the girl. We
could tell she was a Crue fan because she had one of our shirts on.

This nurse stopped me as I was looking in every room. "Can I help
you sir?"

"Yes I'm looking for my son Nichals Sixx."

"Are you a family member?"

"Uh hello I just said my son." I said getting upset and she rolled
her eyes.

"Two doors down." I came in and he had an oxygen mask on him and an
IV in his arm.

"You, his father?" The doctor said. I shook my head. "He's fine Mr.
Sixx. Seems he needed some oxygen. He'll be alright. Has he ever had
problems breathing before?"

"Not that I know of."

"Mm I'd like to keep him over night. In the morning we'll move him to
a private room and run some test. I don't want to say anything
without running test but I think he might have asthma. Won't know
for sure and other then the black eye I'd say he's fine. He was
intoxicated when he came in. The worst you can expect is he'll wake
up with a hangover and will probably be groggy. Now I know who you
are and I know how young boys can be so I will keep this quit.
Normally I would have to report that he was drunk, but I won't. You're
welcomed to stay. Your friend can stay to, but the girls have to go."

"Girls?!?"

"Yes, seems a group of them brought him in all excited to meet you."

"I see."

"Dad." I looked at Decker and he took the mask off. "I'm sorry."

I put it back on him. "It's ok. I should have paid more attention to
you. Just tell me you didn't do any drugs Nick." I said softly as I
held his hand trying not to cry.

"I had half an ecstasy." He said softly. "I did it and you were
right, it sucks when..."

"Shh get some rest babe. You can tell me tomorrow."

"I take it I'm grounded till I'm 21." I laughed a little and brushed
his bangs out of his eyes.

"How about you're grounded till you graduated? I'm just happy your ok."

"Mm guess who gave me the black eye dad?" He took his mask off
again. "Kurt Cobain, can you believe it. That is so cool."

"Yeah, ok son. Rest." I put the mask back on him and he closed his
one good eye. I waited a little. Then walked out to Tommy. "Let's go
bro. I got a lead singer to find and kill."

"Bro no one twisted Decker's arm...."

"You don't know shit. Kurt Cobain punched my son who is a minor and
he was to drunk to defend himself. Now you either help me or stay
your pussy ass here."

"Dude you can't go around fighting Decker's fights."

"Tommy if this was your son what would you do?"

"I'd say to let him heal up then take him to the gym. Nikki, you know
as well as I do that, he's got to fight his own battles. The only
time I can see going after him if Decker was under 11 which he's
not. He's almost a man. You need to be here with him. You also need
to call Beth and let her know he's fine so she doesn't worry the
rest of the morning."

I knew he was right, but I still wanted to kick ass. The girl Tonya
came up to me. "Nikki is your son going to be alright?"

"Yeah. I want tothank you. If you didn't stumble on to him he may
not be alive. How did you come upon him by the way?"

"I heard this cry in the alley by these apartments which I live
nearby. Something told me to check it out. I think I'm going to go
home now. Can you tell him I'm not an angel? He kept thinking I was."

I looked at her and she left. She looked shaken up. I called home
and Tina picked up. She said they gave Beth something to get her to
sleep. She said it wouldn't harm the baby. I told her Decker was
fine and that I was going to stay with him. So, he might have lost his
virginity but he learned the same thing I did which was it doesn't
mean shit if one you're not in love with the person and two if you
can't really remember if you came or not. The price he paid was we
discovered he had anxiety attacks.

Which would only act up if he was stressed, in a crowded place which
he got from Beth and if he rushed things. It would make him freak
out and hyperventilate. Thankfully he didn't have anything else.
They gave him some medication to control it.

Boy when I took him home Beth started in on him which he was
expecting. I told her to back off and he said, "No dad she's got to
get it out of her system. She can't hold it in. I deserve it." He
ended up grounding himself by bring all his games into our bedroom
and his wallet. "From now on its school and home. I love you guys
and I'm one lucky kid to have a father that cares." He hugged me and
I held him tight whispering that I loved him to.