Without you - Nikki Sixx fan fiction

Ch59 Home sweet home

*********ALL WARNINGS APPLY 

Nikki- Ok not to confuse anyone we spent a glorious two weeks in
Hawaii. When we came back to LA, I had a great time trying to spend
as much time as I could with my family. Two weeks later on Tommy's
birthday I got a call to say Dr. Feelgood was a number one on the
charts. Heather and Tommy were having drama and he wasn't answering
the phone. So, I sent him a fax from the studio. Then took Beth out
to celebrate.

The next day we had to start promoting the album. Then when Doc told
us about Moscow Beth was the on the first flight out. After that it
was awhile till I seen her which was on her birthday. Then after
that it would be almost forever before I'd see her sober that is. By
the second leg of the tour we were all falling apart. It hit rock
bottom again when Tommy fell off the drum kit and into the audience.
I shaved part of my hair so he wouldn't feel left out. Most of our
relationships were in trouble.

Beth tried to come see me whenever she could. She was busy as ever
designing shit. So anytime I did see her I tried to be sober. I
didn't want her to worry about me. It was bad enough she had to
worry about Decker. That tour had us so worn out it's hard to
remember shit. In 1991 when we were still touring for Decade we
threatened the record company that if they didn't let us go home to
see our family we'd kill them. So, it was 1989 when we started the
tour and not really have a true back until sometime in June of 1991.

By this time my baby girl turned 3 in December, Decker turned 13 in January,
Beth turned 30 in February and I had turned 32 in December. It was pretty
close to being two years on the road. It was around June 5, 1991.

I was so mad that I missed Beth's 30th. Decker was starting to rebel
so, it was hard on her to juggle everything. The last time I seen
Beth was on Decker's birthday that year. She tried to see me
whenever she could and she could see how bad I was getting. I was
losing it but she stayed by me. So, when June 5 came, we spilt faster
then anyone could say bye.

We landed at LAX and the second we got off the plane we all spilt. I
didn't have time to call Beth. She was at work anyway. Everyone went
their own way. I jumped into a taxi. "Laurel Canyon Blvd. Hollywood.
Campbell Hall and can you step on it." I said to the driver.

Beth had Stormy in pre-k nearby where she worked. It was also a
grade school that Decker was in. I looked at my watch to check the
date and time. I figured it was their last day in school before
summer vacation. The cab driver sat there and I took out some money
and waved it at him. He stepped on it.

"You a rock star?" I rolled my eyes.

"Uh yeah."

"Dude you're that guy. That had Sam in that video kick start my heart
right?"

"Yeah. You a Crue fan?"

"Not really my wife is." I laughed a little. We got there after I
paid him I ran in. I freaked out the girl because I was still in stage
clothes. Leather pants, tank top that showed off my tattoo arms.
Because I now had both my arms done. Eyeliner, jewelry, just to the
max stage attire.

Anyway, she totally freaked out. "Oh my god. Pinch me I must be
dreaming. Are you Nikki Sixx?"

"Ah last time I checked. Sorry about my appearance. I'm here to pick
up Stormy and Nichals Sixx."

She stood there in a daze and this other girl smacked her. "I'm
sorry but the pickup place is by the lunchroom. Two doors down."

"Thanks." I walked off shaken my head. I seen a crowd of parents
with kids. I seen Tina. "TINA!!!" I yelled. She turned and Stormy
was standing next to her. I started trying to push my way through
people. "STORMY."

"DADDY!!" I finally cleared a path and she ran up to me. I picked
her up.

"Uh baby girl you're getting so big."

"Daddy I missed you."

"I missed you to baby." She had her arms around my neck and put her
head on my shoulder. "Want to go out for dinner and Ice cream?" She
pulled her head away and shock her head.

I seen Decker and his hair was to his shoulders. It was black like
mine and I noticed an earring in his ear. I sighed and tried to put
Stormy down but she wouldn't let me. "Don't put me down daddy."

"Ok I won't." I went over to Tina and Decker. I looked at him. "You're
getting big to."

He rolled his eyes. "Beth's working over time."

"That's ok. Where is she?"

"A few blocks down."

"Come on Decker. I got them Tina thanks."

"Uh Beth..."

I looked at her and said "Beth what?"

"Never mind." I forgot to mention about Brandi and I posing nude. I
had slipped off the wagon there. Now a lot of people don't think
Beth knew but she did. She knew all about it. I assured her that it
was just for publicity and I know for a fact I never slept with her.
I might of fallen off the wagon but I never cheated on Beth.
Everyone including Heff backed me up on it. She still was upset but
posed nude to get me back.

I didn't even recognize her cause she redid her hair to blonde again.
It was still long and we needed the extra money and playboy is a
very tasteful mag. Anyway, I held my hand out to Decker. "Come on
buddy. Bet you can show your old man some tricks at the video
arcade." He smiled and took my hand. "Let's go surprise mommy
first. Then we'll get something to eat."

"Daddy, are you home for good?"

"Yeah, I'm home for a good while. The whole summer off how's that."

"Yea!" Stormy shouted and I held my hands out for the keys.

"It might be a good idea if I go with you. That way while you and
Decker are playing I can keep an eye on Storm." Tina said. I looked at Stormy.

"Naw. I canhandle the two of them. Right baby girl? You can play
too." She squealed and Tina finally handed me the keys. "Thanks, we'll
call if we need you." So, I put the kids in the corvette. Which I half
couldn't believe Beth let Tina borrow. Most of the time I had to beg
to drive it. Anyway, we went a block down and I went in the back
door. Stormy took off and Decker and I followed her. She lead us to
Beth. I seen her talking to Cindy.

I just stood there watching her and Stormy was tugging on her pant
legs. Beth looked down. "Stormy what are you doing here?" She picked
her up.

"Daddy's taken us out to dinner."

"Where's Tina? Honey Daddy's still on tour."

"No, he's not. He's over there." Beth turned to face me and I stood
there with a smile on my face. Beth walked over to me and I took
Stormy from her.

"I'm home." She looked at me.

"For how long this time?"

"Ah come on now. Don't do that. I don't really care at this moment.
Want to join us for dinner and video games?" She looked at Cindy who
was waving at her to get out. She looked at me and smiled. She took
the keys from me.

"Ok but I'm driving. The way you drive I'd like to get there in
one piece." I laughed as we went back to the car. "How was your day
Nichals?" She said.

"It was ok." We went out to this pizza place. To make a very long
story short it took half the summer on vacation with her and the kids
to get her not to be mad at me. She wasn't so much as mad about the
playboy thing. She was more mad about me doing drugs again. So, it
took me to take her and the kids to Disney in CA. to basically get
her to let me back into the bedroom.

I had her take the summer off so that we both would have a mini
vacation. Still now that Dr. Feelgood was a big hit there wasn't
anywhere I couldn't go without fans. I didn't mind and now that Beth
posed nude well she got a few fans herself. I found it funny. It
wasn't until October that I slept with her though.

Not because she didn't forgive me but a lot of it had to do with I
really hadn't forgiven myself. I was going back to marriage
canceling with Beth. I couldn't believe I posed with Brandi. I was
so high that when they offered it and said it be good for us I
agreed like a jack ass.

After summer break and our vacation. I started getting ideas again
about new songs. So, I'd sit in my office and write. Then when we all
got back in the studio which was the second week of September we went
over everything.

It all started out well. We all shared our vacation stories. Vince
was a happy father again. Him and Sharise had Skyler sometime in
1990. I don't remember when, but it was during one of our short
breaks. Anyway, the first week we spent going over what everyone had
written. Then that was when shit started hitting the fan. There was
this man that was with us. I'm not saying his name, but he started to
feed each one of our egos.

Worst thing you can do to a band. Basically, kiss ass and then tell
you that you can do better or such and such isn't doing their part.
Things like you'd be better off without them. You can make more
money and hits without this dead weight and literally turning all
of us against each other. We got busy and Beth and I started fighting
again. I ended up staying at a hotel after one day going off on
Decker and hitting him for the first time ever.

Our fighting was about everything. Me staying at the studio till
late hours and then going out to the bars without her. I can't
really even remember all of it. I think it was that I felt I needed
to forgive myself for falling off the wagon again and posing with
another woman.

Anyway, even Tommy was having shit with Heather. Now Vince drinking
again, while I was trying to stay away from it all started to effect
me. I felt nothing was going right again. I started going off on
everyone including my kids as I said before. At the end of the day
at the beginning of October, I came in the house.

I ran upstairs, into the bathroom, screamed, destroyed it, and
locked myself in there with one of my guns. I couldn't believe all
that had gone on. I didn't remember any of it and at one point Beth
found me at a night club fucked up with Brandi around September 28. So, I
sat in there with the gun trying to figure out what really happened
till Tommy broke the door down. I'll let Beth tell you it all because
I sometimes still don't remember any of it and it's hard to really talk aboutthis.