ODDS OF LOVE SEASON TWELVE

Episode 6

The small simple granite tombstone was not the most elaborate one around but as a young college student years ago the then Lyle Peters couldn't afford anything better. Even for his beloved mother who had been his very closest friend really.

He knelt down on the ground with its slightly browned grass at the tiny cemetery in Clinton, Maryland. It was where the poorest of the poor was laid to rest.

He traced the words on the stone's front. Ona Peters. Her name. Her birth date. Her death date. It had been difficult enough for him to lose his mother back then but she had been sick for years. Ever since he was a young child. He had almost expected it although it had hit him so hard. He still remembered the day his dean had come to Psychology 101 to take him to his office so he could literally break his heart.

( " I'm sorry, son , your mother has passed away. ")

He had crumbled back then. Fell apart. Landed in a hospital under antidepressants and trying to figure out how he could make it on his own. For a year.

He had expected his mother. But not Lewis getting shot. Not Diamond...... Dear God. He shut his eyes tightly and breathed in sharply. Then out again. Why ? Why did she do it? In his class? And why did he not have one of those idiotic dreams he usually did warning him of what was going to happen? He could have helped if he had only suspected. He could have.... He should have..... done something. Anything.

This year had been so traumatic. So much violence. And also Roman who had been oddly quiet the past few months now but he was still going about on pins and needles, still wearing a gun , still waiting for the next shoe to drop. The gun. He was wearing a gun. Yesterday he had had it in an ankle holster. He didn't like wearing it at school but Roman had him still scared. He did not want the man surprising him.

Maybe he should have done something. Yesterday. To help Lewis. Instead of just screaming and being paralyzed with fear.

Like what? , he almost heard his mom say in her usual calm steady voice. Would you have shot a troubled child to save another one?

No. He didn't think he could have done that. He didn't even think he could shoot Roman. Paper targets was one thing. People another.

Tears welled up in his eyes and a sob broke out within his throat.

Why ? Why did she do it? And why in his class? He would never be able to forget exactly what he saw yesterday in his should have been safe and secure classroom.

Suddenly in the quiet graveyard he felt a hand fall on his shoulder and he looked up quickly to see his husband staring back at him with a lot of concern and love on his face.

Angel dropped down next to him. " Thought you would be here. Are you ok ? "

Lyle swallowed. " I always got a peaceful feeling here. Makes me feel closer to my mother. Makes me understand the world more. Understand the why of life. "

Angel looked at him. " So. Did you find what you were looking for? Here ? "

Lyle looked at the tombstone. Then up at the blue sky up above with its mere scattered collection of white fluffy clouds. Then over at Angel. " No. Not really. I feel useless. Why didn't I know? She was my student. It was my class. Why didn't I know ! "

Angel pulled him closer and held him as he cried what sounded like the sobs of the damned.