ODDS OF LOVE SEASON TWELVE

Episode 105

" Thank you for coming," Flower Dennis said with a small smile that was not as bright as her usual one but now edged with a vivid bravery. She reached out to grab hold of the hands of DuBuis and Spencer, giving them both a tight squeeze as though they were the ones in need of comforting. " I am so glad you all could come. I saw your children came as well. How.... lovely. These are my parents. Froggy and Maude. My sister Teresa. My parents run a diner in Kansas. My sister is a hot shot broker on Wall Street. She sold out. " She looked at her family with fondness and tried to laugh but it caught in her throat.

Spencer said softly," I.... I don't  really like funerals but..... I just wanted to say..... Well , we , DuBuis and I..... We .... "

DuBuis placed his free hand on his husband's tense shoulder and interjected with," We want to offer our very deepest condolences, Flower. To you and your entire family. On your loss. It's not easy to know exactly what to say in these moments but..... just know you all are in our prayers and thoughts. "

Spencer looked at his husband with much gratitude and love as Flower thanked them both while her eyes drifted to where Zipp sat across the room.

She wished she had never met that man. Without him there would be no Diamond. And therefore no pain. Where did she put her pain and heartbreak? , she thought bitterly.

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" I hate funerals ," Luci whispered as she sat on a sturdy wooden pew between Sol who looked uncomfortable in his dark Sunday suit that seemed too baggy on him due to the weight he had been losing recently and Theodore who also fidgeted with his bespectacled eyes looking everywhere but at the casket. " Especially ones for kids. Why would she do it? Shoot Lewis. Terrorize us. Kill.... Why did she do it? It's so..... useless..... "

Then she began to cry and Sol quickly put his arms around her. He held her as she sobbed in his arms, asking over and over again," Why ? "

Theodore glanced wordlessly at them. He wished he could text Alan. He wished he could hold Alan. He wished his boyfriend was there to hold him like Sol was Luci. He looked at the casket finally and thought to himself how fucking selfish Diamond Dennis had been. As much as he may want to leave the earth he would never do that to his family and friends. Never.

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Joy stood in the corner of the church with her eyes closed. Beside her was Jasper who watched her with sympathy in his eyes.

Joy thought that she had HIV and a most likely shortened lifespan even with modern medicine and treatment yet she was here. She was here and this child was not. What was the fairness in that really? , she silently prayed to the God she loved. The God she hoped could hear her. The God who could give her an idea how to help these grieving people gathered in the church. What to say to them.

" It's so wrong. It feels so wrong, Jas. "

Jas sighed. " That's because it is wrong. Death is a natural act that comes to all but when it's a child and suicide it just feels wrong. "

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Zora Mayfield approached the casket and looked at her dead best friend Diamond. She poked out her lip and made sure to tremble it just enough to look pitiful. And, she squeezed out a couple tears to slide down her cheek as she began to scream out dramatically," Why , Why , Diamond, don't go away ! "

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Zipp looked at his partner - former partner - Flower and she looked back at him. He wanted to go to her. Hug her. Grieve with her. He knew their relationship was over. But he wished the friendship had survived.

His eyes went down to the carpeted floor and he began to cry. For Diamond. For himself. For Flower.

Then he suddenly felt a soft hand on his shoulder. He looked up. He expected Ethan to be standing there before him but it was Flower.

He rose up gingerly and almost fell into her waiting arms.

" I did love you," he cried in her arms as she slowly embraced him. " In my own way. I did love our daughter. I do love her. "

Flower hesitated as she whispered back," I loved you too. And Diamond. I'm going to miss you, Zennis. Please be happy. Be happy."