ODDS OF LOVE SEASON TWELVE

Episode 32

Richard was tucking the thin hospital blanket around his husband's trembling body as he lay in the private room just two doors down from Lewis' own private room.

Nigel looked at Richard. " I'm scared. "

Richard looked back at him. He touched him on his unscarred face side. " Don't be. You heard the doctor. Stress will make you feel worse. You need to keep resting. They're giving you antibiotics and steroids and your regular medicine. He said that the heart could repair itself if , when, the antibiotics and steroids and heart medication combats it. I'm not a doctor, darling. That's what he said. "

Nigel watched him through his one sad knowing eye. " He also said if it doesn't work I might need a heart transplant. My heart is failing. You kinda do need a heart to live. I'm.... dying. Aren't I? "

Richard fought back tears. He needed to stay calm. For the husband and children he could just barely remember outside of occasional memory flashes. The family he knew that he cared a great deal for though. That he knew he loved. He was not losing any of them. Especially not the vulnerable kind gentle man staring back at him with such outright fright apparent on his face.

" No. You are not dying, Nigel Hawthorne - Cyrus Norland. You are recovering from all this. You will rest and get better. Let the medicine do its job. If .... If ..... You are .... If you need a heart transplant we'll deal with it then. I'll buy you one if I need to. Hell I can go halfsies on it with Nicholas. "

Nigel found himself smiling slightly against his own fears. As Richard sat down in the chair by the bed and grabbed his hand to hold onto it Nigel said softly," That's not appropriate for a judge. Judge Richard Norland. Has a nice ring to it. Judge Norland. When do you start? And are you accepting it? Of course you are accepting it. It's a judgeship for bloody sake. You'd be a dumb ass wanker to turn it down and you are not a dumb ass wanker. "

Richard laughed. " I have been just that in the past. I can't remember everything but I sense I have. Yes. I want to accept it. With your blessing that is. I've wanted this all my life. More than the politics your father keeps trying to push me into. Apparently the governor is appointing me and it's a done deal for a year. If the state Senate approves it which Governor Mission thinks they will. We're two different parties, me and Marty Mission but I've been told people would rather have me on the bench than in any political office. After a year I have to run for my own ten year term. " He squeezed Nigel's hand and looked at his pallid fatigued face. " I'm replacing a judge who kneeled over on the bench at the age of ninety six. Or maybe it was the golf course. I'm not sure. I'm not starting officially though until you are better. You, your health, our children are my only real priorities right now. And always. I love you. "

Nigel closed his eye. " I love you too. Today and what happened to Lewis makes me realize something similar. I want to live for you. For my family. The job is great. But it's not my priority. It's not my life. You are my life. I'm sorry I have been such a stupid twat lately."

Richard leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead. " That's the past. Just concentrate on resting and getting better. Rest. Oh and don't worry about that attacker. If it's Niles or someone else..... They won't get close to you again. I have a guard from Gaines Investigation sitting outside your room here. And he'll be sitting outside the house when you get back home too. Until the cops find this creep. I'm not taking any chances with you. You're my life too. "