ODDS OF LOVE SEASON TWELVE

Episode 47

He did not look like a killer.

Lyle stared at his face in the mirror. He looked the same. Same blond hair neatly cut at that barber shop DuBuis recommended to him. The one run by Mark Mullins and his brother Scout. He remembered them from Project W days but of course they hadn't recalled himself. Same brown nearsighted eyes behind his glasses with the smudged lenses. Same slight grey in his hair. Same lines around his mouth and eyes. He looked the same. As before. Yet. Yet he didn't feel the same.

Last night he was almost stabbed , attacked , killed by a man who had been stalking him. The nightmare that had started a few nights ago finally had ended.

At his hands. He killed a man.

Angel stepped into the bathroom and came behind him , placing his arms around him. His lips nuzzled the back of his neck. " Are you okay? "

Was he? Okay ? He wasn't sure. Between watching one student shoot another in his classroom, seeing her kill herself, quitting his job although Gerald had sent him an email saying that he refused to accept the resignation. Gerald had him down as an open ended leave of absence with him getting a temporary substitute for his classes and the school clubs he sponsored. Maybe that was best. He did not know if he wanted to return to the school again but he also didn't have the faintest idea what to do next. He didn't know anything lately.

Last night he spent hours at the police station answering the same questions over and over again. They took his gun. For evidence they said. At least he hadn't been alone. Angel was there with him of course. And Angel had called Jeremiah Duncan in to sit by his side and say " My client has no comment on this at the moment". Nita Browne had told him last night she didn't think that the State Attorney was going to actually press charges because it was a clear cut case of self defense. The police called him a hero. So did the local news they had caught when they got back home.

Maybe he was. Or maybe he was just a killer.

" I don't feel different. Shouldn't I feel different? I don't feel sad about taking a life. I feel.... happy. Happy that I don't have to keep watching over my shoulder to see if Roman is there. Happy that I don't have to walk around strapped as you say. Happy that nobody else will get hurt or killed. But I don't feel anything else. Am I evil? Or crazy? Am I like him ? "

Angel turned Lyle around gently to face him. He looked oddly serious for him. He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. "I don't think any of that about you right now. I think you are the most brave man I've ever known in my life. You saved your own life and God knows how many others. I don't care if you shot him. I'm sure Nigel and Joe and Reese Malden and Alfred don't care either. I love you. I care that he is dead and can't hurt you. If you hadn't shot him I would have come home from walking the dogs to find you dead or hurt. You're fine, baby. If you wonder about yourself in this you're okay. It's when you don't wonder......"

Lyle hugged his husband. " I need to talk to someone. Maybe Reverend Lynn , Spencer's therapist. Or Joy. Jas. Someone. I don't know anything right now. "

Angel squeezed him tightly. " You do what you have to. Stay home from work. Go to therapy. Play with the dogs. I'll still be here when you know again. I love you. "

" I love you too. "