The Promise

40) Aurora

He looks at my face; his face pained. He stands and reaches for me; I can't feel my body or my knees to stand. He then reaches behind my knees and back carrying me off of the floor.

"Omer, it's okay. I need to go, are you okay?" I ask him when he lowers me on the couch; as he still wears his pained expression reaching for tissues; he looks around for something.

I grab his face; urging him to look at me. He lowers his head; I lift it smoothing back the strands of fallen hair. "I'm sorry" he whispers. "It's okay," I say softly, he looks at me and wipes my tears.

I take a deep breath and rest my forehead against his closing my eyes. "See what I told you, Omer?" I shake as he rubs at my sleeves. "We'll hurt each other; I'm hurting you".

"You didn't, I did," he says. I open my eyes and look at him through my tears. I shake my head, "You didn't give me a choice, but not to tell you. Omer, I was honest from the beginning, but when you declined my help for him when Dionne offered, I felt humiliated".

I take a deep breath, "Omer, I never made my own choices. This was a feeling I chose to escape from and from one country to the other".

I feel the tears fall as he wipes at them listening to me carefully, "I escaped my house at dawn like thieves to come here, to be free and able to make the first decision ever."

"I appreciated you, but I admit it I acted childish when I did it behind your back and didn't talk it out with you as a grown woman, but" my breath catches as he rises from the floor and carries me as he sits placing me in his lap.

I sigh placing my head in the crook of his neck; letting myself cry it out. He soothes my back in circular motions as I let the tears fall, "I'm here, dove. I'm listening." He murmurs softly.

"I hated it, Omer. All of it; they controlled me, they made me question every move I make even if it's normal" I grip his bicep, "They took everything, they made me into a doll that can perfect anything."

I raise my head looking at him, he tucks my hair behind my ear "I just wanted to be a normal child, I didn't want to be perfect because I can't; nobody can". He kisses my temple, "and time passed- my breath caught and he kisses my cheek,

"Time passed and I knew that mom can't hug and dad doesn't accept." A tear escapes his eye as he kisses my other cheek. "And the kids go outside looking for love and affirmation, they get played, hurt, left, wounded, cut and all is in the name of getting stronger".

"But the truth is, it doesn't make us stronger. It makes us sensitive and sad as we look around us to see the world revolving, yet it is static beneath our feet."

"You get to protect your brother, but who protects you?" he closes his eyes, "you get to protect, but who protects you? You get to save, but who saves you, Omer?" "No one" he whispers tears sliding down his face; mirroring me, "No one did" he finishes.

"I am ruined, Omer. I have nothing to lose because I already lost everything; I sold it all away. You are so precious, so good and I can't be the rotten part that'll ruin you." He looks at me and takes my hand flattening it against his uneven side of chest and smiles, "And you think for a moment that you're not looking in your reflection, dove?".

"When the time comes, you'll know everything, but if nothing I want it. I want all of it with you. I lost it all 19 years ago, I didn't realize I still had a small piece before you came" he starts leaning in as he whispers, "Take it, take it all. I don't want anything" A tear escapes my eye as I close the gap between us kissing him.

It's soft and full of emotion and pain, we're pouring pain into each other's souls. I wrap my arms around him because I know wherever I go I bring darkness with me and they say darkness needs company. I hate myself for doing this to him, but he's my only way to breathe right now.