Spells and Visions; A Harry Potter story

Chapter 14: I Have To Let You Go

The next morning, Harry and Cedric divided the gold evenly, and Harry and I were called to Dumbledore's office, to talk to mr and mrs Oakley. They were glad we had brought back his body, and luckily didn't blame me, nor Harry, for what happened.

I was very silent the next few days. I didn't do much, except for sitting in the common room, or sitting in my dormitory. I didn't feel hungry, only energy-less. I almost didn't eat at all. Every moment I felt as if I were about to cry. But I didn't. I hadn't cried or felt any real emotion since that night.
Luckily, none of my friends asked for an interview on what exactly happened, and just stayed with me and Harry, silent, or talking about other things.
I avoided all mirrors, because when I looked in them, my face was almost exactly the same as Sirius's, when he had just gotten out of Azkaban.

I did talk to Luna, who had become sort of my personal therapist, as I was in a sort of depression. She didn't mind at all, and understood what I was going through and tried to make me understand that it was not my fault that Cyril died, it was an accident. She was also one of the people that immediately believed that Voldemort was back, for which I was glad.

Then I finally decided to take a long, hot shower, to rinse off all the pain and feelings of guilt, but some of it remained. I also finally cried all the pain out, because the crying that I had done that night was awkward and held back. Now I let the tears loose that had been held back the past few days.
I dried off and looked in the mirror, and even though I still looked very tired, from the sleepless nights, I didn't look like a ghost anymore, and almost back to Jynx Aria Black.

I became a little more energetic in the next days, and tried to take Harry in it with me, who finally gave in as well. No one talked about what happened, just about every other thing we could think off. We spend our free time playing chess or Exploding Snap, but Harry and I were still more silent then usual. The nights were the worst. I longed for the sleeping potion, so I would sleep and not have nightmares. When I woke up from one of those dreams, they left me feeling confused and tired, and it didn't seem to matter if I slept or not, I remained tired. I couldn't get Cyril out of my mind, but I had to let him go, eventually.

~

It was the night before returning home. I longed for some place I could clear my mind, and it definitely wasn't my home. I hoped Fudge hadn't told my mother to much strange or bad things about me.

We entered the Great Hall for the end-of-the-year feast, but instead of banners in the color of the winning house of the House Cup, there were black banners everywhere. I blinked my tears back. Fresh memories of Cyril returned to my mind. Not only those of that night, but also of the times I had spoken with him when we passed each other in the corridors, and I had no idea of what was to come.

The real Mad-Eye Moody sat at the staff table, looking, well, like himself. Madame Maxime and Hagrid had made up, and sat talking to each other.
I sat down, suddenly missing the moments were Cyril would walk past and call: "Hey Jynx!"
I looked at Cedric, and I saw that he was also still not entirely back to normal, but at least he sort of smiled at me.

Dumbledore stood up and everyone went quiet immediately.
"The end of another year. There is much I would like to say tonight, but first we must acknowledge the loss of someone that should be sitting here, who had just started his life here at Hogwarts, enjoying this feast with us. Please raise your glasses to Cyril Oakley."
Everyone stood up and did so, and silently, a few tears made their way over my face. The Hufflepuff table looked saddest of all.
"To Cyril Oakley," everyone said softly, as one. I had to let him go.

"Cyril was very exited about Hogwarts, and was only in his first year. He was very attached to Jynx Black, as many will have noticed." Dumbledore nodded to me, and I let out a soft, emotionless laugh, tears still falling.
"But all of you should know this: Cyril was murdered by Lord Voldemort."
Everyone whispered in a slight panic, and looked in disbelief at Dumbledore.
"The Minister of Magic does not wish me to tell you this," Dumbledore continued. "It is possible that some of your parents will not believe that Voldemort has returned, or that you are too young. I prefer the truth over lies, however, and any attempt to say that Cyril died because of an accident will be an insult to his memory. There is someone else, or rather, two students, that are in connection with Cyril's death. I am talking about Harry Potter, and Jynx Black."