seashells - l.h

fourty one

I can't think straight right now. My first intention was to break something. I got up off the ground and ran down the stairs and to the hallway in front of the door. I faced the mirror, clenched my fist and punched the mirror with all of me. I can't find the correct words to express myself right now..my parents chased me down and tried hugging me. I ran out of the house and took out my moms car and turned it on. I felt a little pain against my wrist and checked to see that there were little shards of glass stuck. I pluck them out, crying even louder and threw them out the window. I pulled out of the driveway and made it onto the street. My parents used dads car and followed me from behind. I made it past his house and cried louder. To the point where I had been screaming. I drove and drove and drove and past red lights and officially lost my mind. I pulled into the hospital's driveway, parked messily and jumped out of the car and speed ran into the hospital. There I saw Calum, Michael and Ashton. His parents were probably with him, as mine followed me from behind. "WHERE IS HE?" I frantically looked around. Michael came up to me and gave me a hug. "They don't know if he's gonna make it.." He whispered into my hair. I pulled away from him and cried even louder. I ran up to the front desk and frantically yelled. "WHAT ROOM IS LUKE IN?" My wrist had been dripping with blood a little over the surface. I wiped it on my pants. "Please calm down, ma'm." She said. "DONT FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN." I yelled causing people to stare. A nurse ran up to me, and kindly said. "I will take you to him." She smiled and guided me to his room. She unlocked his door and lead me in.

His parents weren't in here, just him..laying lifelessly.

I cupped my hands over my mouth and crouched down, almost ready to throw up. She crouched next to me and put her arm over my shoulder. "I am so sorry. We are doing everything we can." I cried too hard..I wasn't able to speak. I couldn't, I cried so much my voice barely worked. I got up and walked over to him. He looked so fucking peaceful. Like he had already died. He had so many things hooked to him. His hair wasn't near and styled..it was dirty..his arms, face, legs..all bloody and bruised up. The only hope I had in his survival was his life machine hooked next to him. My babyboy. My Luke is on the verge of dying. I took a seat beside his bed and very gently caressed his bruise cheeks. "L-luke please don't do this to me.." I whispered, crying. "I'll leave you alone." The nurse said walking out, looking like she was ready to cry also. He didn't move..no sign. "I should've answered you, I should've calmed you down..this wouldn't have happened." I couldn't even touch him..I felt like I was hurting him. Broken bones..bruised face..it hardly looked like him. Michael walked into the room with Calum. Ashton was crying in the halls. "Driver died during the impact." Michael said crossing his arms. "Was he d-drunk?" I asked referring to the driver. "Police is investigating." Michael said. "I know how much you loved him..I'm so sorry." Calum said crying. I sat quiet looking straight at the floor. "I can't believe this is happening." I said dully. "Why couldn't it have happened to me instead." I cried. "If it happened to you God forbid, Luke would be wishing it was him also." Calum said rubbing my back. "He was my best friend. My boyfriend..we were supposed to go to New York together." I whimpered. "I think all we are able to do right now is pray." Michael said. "Ashton's been praying from the minute we drove here." Calum said. "I can't believe this is happening"

I can't believe he could be dead.

The one person who I loved,

Is hooked on life support. This isn't a fucking movie, this isn't a fucking story, this is all happening.

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