seashells - l.h

fourty three

*Two weeks later* June 23rd.

Ever since Luke got into the accident, everything took a sudden turn and turned into shit. It's been raining so fucking much, school DID do a cheesy memorial and the jocks that used to bother Luke are suddenly sad, girls that were bitches to Luke are suddenly sad also, everyone is just one major hypocrite I guess you can say.

I had been in lunch as of now with Michael and his jock friends because I sincerely had nobody else. Ash and Cal didn't bother to come anymore anyways. It had been raining out and I didn't bother to look nice anyways. Everyone knew Luke and I were dating..so I got a lot of special treatment and "get well soon" cards for no reason. But the thought counted. "Yo man, I'm sorry about Luke. He was a cool kid. Miss him." One of the asshole jocks said that used to bully Luke. I felt a nerve switch and I got out of my seat with no hesitation and walked up to him. "YOU SAY YOU MISS HIM AFTER HES HALFWAY DEAD MEANWHILE YOU TREATED HIM LIKE SHIT." The whole cafeteria had stared at us. Some tearing up. "YOU ASSHOLE." I added. Michael got up and came next to me. "Let it go Lily.." He whispered. "I THINK YOURE A LITTLE BOY YOU KNOW THAT? BECAUSE FOR YOU TO BE SO BIG AND COOL, RESPECT FUCKING COUNTS. YOU TREATED MY BOYFRIEND LIKE SHIT. AND GOD FORBID IF HE DIES, THE ONLY MEMORY HE'LL HAVE OF YOU IS OF YOU KNOCKING HIM DOWN AND STEPPING ALL OVER HIM." I screamed in his face. "YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PATHETIC PRICK. YOU THINK YOURE ALL COOL, NEWSFLASH YOU ARE A LITTLE BOY. CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM, WHO GIVES A FUCK. YOU ARE UGLY INSIDE AND OUT AND THATS WHAT MATTERS. NOT YOUR HOBBY." Michael was literally holding me back. Everyone remained quiet..those who taunted Luke..hurt him..I'm getting through to everyone.. "WE ARE GRADUATING IN TWO FUCKING DAYS. MAN THE FUCK UP." I said escaping Michael's grip and running up to Brian and giving him a hard smack in the face. He just took it. His friends just sat there wide eyed. "AND FOR EVERYONE IN THIS GODDAMN ROOM THAT HURT MY LUKE, I HOPE YOU ALL GO TO HELL." I said now crying hard. "I WAS THE ONLY ONE HERE, WHO WAS HIS FRIEND." I said pointing to myself crying. "Lily please." Michael hugged me. "You all think he'll appreciate the memorial? He'll hate it because you're all just a bunch of fakers who wanna be able to say someone you know is dying.." I panted crying.

"Go home.." He whispered. I walked over to the jocks and they didn't make eye contact with me. "Just because I didn't rip into you assholes doesn't mean I don't hate you all equally if not more." I said picking my bag up. I looked back at Brian who was tearing up. I picked my things up and walked back to him, cafe still watching me. "It should've been you instead." I smirked and wiped my tears away. "If Luke dies..I'm coming after you first." I said before leaving the cafeteria.

Michael guided me into his car and drove me home. "You lost your shit in there and I don't blame you." He said steering the wheel. "I don't know what to do anymore. I hate them so much." I said. "I know you do. I'm here for you always, okay?"

"I don't think I can go to see him today. I'm sorry I can't." I cried. "It's no problem." Michael sighed parking in my driveway. "Please take care of yourself..it'll get better." Michael said tearing up. "Thanks for the ride home." I said getting out of the car. I entered my house and walked straight into the kitchen and sat down. My parents had been at work so I was basically home alone.

I walked to the alcohol cabinet and swung it open. I took out the large bottle of vodka and used the bottle opener to help me open it. I've never drank so.. Here goes nothing.
I swung it back and took a large gulp. I can already feel me becoming weary. I drank gulps and gulps until the whole bottle was empty. At this point I had gone....like..I knocked out on the couch.

Not awoken by anything..until hours later by angry..yet somewhat understanding parents. "Lily..did you drink all the vodka?" My mom asked tired eyed and sad. "Mhm." I muttered. "Why honey.." Dad asked. "Because it made me drunk." I chuckled. "And I can't handle this heartbreak. So I settled it the smart way." I muttered. They just left me there..so I went back to sleep.

I think my life is at its breaking point and I can't really find a reason to be happy anymore.

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