I was watching my television intently as y/c/c was being interviewed on a red carpet event. He was so pretty that I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't help but stare at my screen with the three A's: awe, amazement, & agony. I was starstruck and he wasn't even in the room with me. Just then, he made eye contact with the camera. Then made eye contact with me. And, with a swig of magic and wondrous flare, he all of a sudden winked at me. "Hi, y/n. I know you're watching this. And I just want you to know that I want you," he said. I gasped deeply within my chest. I was more than shocked. I was electrified. Vaporized. Taken down by a lightning bolt. All of sudden, he jumps through my tv and into my room with his arms outspread. "Bring it in, babe," he says. I shit myself a little and run over to him to give him the biggest, fattest bear hug. We hug for a good 10 minutes. Until he interrupts the hug and says, "Now for what I came here to do. Let's fuck." So he flipped me over and pulled down my undies in a flash. "SHIT ON MY FACE!," he screams at the top of his lungs. "Yes, daddy," I scream with agony as I let out the stinkiest, most ratchet, most horrifying, most agonizing shit of all time. "MORE, MORE, MORE!!," he moans with agony as brown feces cover his face. "YES, PAPI!," I SCREAMED WITH MORE AGONY THEN BEFORE AS I MOANED. I WAS SWEATING PROFUSELY. THEN HE FUCKED MY SHITTY ASS AGGRESSIVELY WITH HIS CLARINET. It played a beautiful symphony. Call that brown noise haha. *brown noise noises* Then we laid down and cuddled with shit covering every surface. Just then, I heard my husband downstairs scream with agony at the stench. That's when I knew I needed to get a divorce.
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