ch 1

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Wo tanha us pull (bridge) par khadi thi. Bilkul tanha.
Uski aankhon mein. Is siyaah raat tale. Bohot se aansu chamak rahe the.
Wo ro nahi rahi thi. Wo asaani se nahi roya karti thi.
Use apne aansu rokne mein maharat haasil thi.
Wo ek actress thi. Ek maahir adakaara.
Jisne ek zindagi qurban karke. Dusri zindagi haasil ki thi.
Aur ab wo usi zindagi se haath dhone jaa rahi thi.
Use apna kaam azeez tha. Apni ye chamchamati zindagi azeez thi.
Use apna career azeez tha.
Aur sab se badh kar use apne kaam ka yaad reh jaana azeez tha.
Lekin ab sab kuch jaise ret ka bhurbhura sa dher banta jaa raha tha.
Girne ko betaab. Gir kar fana hone ke liye tayyar.

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Ek saal baad

Wo bareek heels se chalti car porch se nikalti hui saamne aa rahi thi. Uski heels bareek aur kayi inch lambi thien. Siyaah chamakti khubsurat heels.

Siyaah designer dress mein uska khubsurat sarapaa wazay tha. Dress ki asteenein gayab thien aur usse uske safed doodhiya baazu nikal rahe the. Un baazuon ki saakit itni narm aur barabar thi ke koi bhi unpar nigaan tikaye bagair guzar nahi sakta tha. Dress ka gala uper gardan tak net ke bareek kapde se band hota tha aur peeche kamar ka hissa kaafi hadh tak khula hua tha. Wo ek maghribi saakit ka libaas tha jise us mulk aam tabqah ache andaaz se nahi dekhta tha. Lekin jis shube se wo waabasta thi, wahan aise malboosiyat ko saraahti hui nigaahon se dekha jaata tha.

Gardan jhuka ke dekha jaata toh libaas takhnon se zara uncha tha. Shalwar ke naam pe uncha sa pajama bamushkil uski pindliyon tak aata tha. Dupatta toh qair se us libaas ka hissa tha hi nahi. Aur na hi use dupatte ki zarurat mehsoos hoti thi. Pehle pehel jab wo is industry mein nayi nayi actress ban kar ubhri thi tab use dupatte ki kami ka ehsaas shiddat se hua karta tha. Lekin ab. Waqt ke kayi dabane paar karne ke baad ye zarurat fiza mein ghul kar Goya apna wujood kho chuki thi. Use dupatta ab extra piece mehsoos hone laga tha.

Usne nigaahon per chadha qeemti chashma aankhon se utaara toh duniya apne rang mein dikhai dene lagi. Uske lambe shehed rang khubsurat baal straight karke kandhe per ek jaanib daale gaye the. Libaas ka peechla khula hissa kuch aur wazay hogaya tha. Usne aas paas dekhe bagair safed tiles se mazeene hall aboor kiya aur lift tak chali aayi. Industry ke liye kaam karti private agency ke kayi workers use palat palat kar dekhna nahi bhule the. Aisi agency ka riwaaj pehle is mulk mein itna aam nahi tha. Lekin jab se ek do entertainment agency ki kamyabi ko industry ke saarfeen ne dekha toh kayi directors ne apni apni private agency ka aghaaz kar diya. Wo bhi unhi agency mein se ek thi. Glamour agency.

Private lift ka button daba kar wo nazakat se khadi darwaza khulne ka intezaar karne lagi. Use apni pusht per bohot si nigaahein mehsoos ho rahi thien. Lekin wo kamaal maharat se sab nigaahon ko qaatir mein laaye bagair shaane nazakat se seedhe kiye istadaah (qayam/ barqaraar) rahi. Lift khulne se qaasir hi rahi. Usne na samjhi se eyebrow saked kar button dobara dabaya. Darwaza ab bhi nahi khula. Lift ke uper lagi choti si LED per surq lafzon mein kuch likha aa raha tha. "PLEASE INSERT CARD".

Usne saath se guzarte ek worker ko awaaz de kar roka toh wo jhatke se ruka. Phir khoufzada hokar uski jaanib dekha. Wo us industry mein "bitch" mashoor thi. Logon ka usse darna banta hi tha. Ye alag behes thi ke wo asal mein bitch (kutti) thi bhi ya nhi.

Worker thook nigal kar aage aaya. Phir uski jaanib dekha.

"Konsa card?"

"Ye lift sirf officials ke liye hai. Aapko use kholne ke liye agency ka card insert karna padega." Wo ek saal baad us agency mein aayi thi. Ek saal baad toh hargiz bhi is agency ki "official actress" nahi rahi thi. Card kya uske paas khaak hona tha.! Usne ek bebasi nigaah us band chamchamati lift per daali aur saath bani "public" lift ki jaanib badh gayi.

Buland-wa-baala imarat ki aakhri manzil per maujood, sheeshe ki chamakti khidkiyon se dhaka (covered) office us subah shaant mehsoos ho raha tha. Jhulti kursi per us agency ka sarbara bara jamaan tha. Baalon ke spikes khade kiye. Aankhon per frameless ainak lagaye. Uski umar chalees ke lag bhag thi aur qalmon mein bareek si safedi use mazeed decent banati thi. Agle hi pal office ka darwaza "dhaad" ki awaaz ke saath khula toh wo apni jhulti kursi per uchal sa gaya.

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