please remember that I never lied

-x- its you that i hold on to -x-

chapter title from coldplay - sparks!! :)

==============================

 niki hummed, scribbling down her notes, taking her time. for the fifth time that day, she'd asked, ''could you just wait like, one more minute please, miss?'' or, ''two seconds, sir!''. she felt a bit ashamed, to be honest, but didn't let it get to her, she would never! karl, on the other hand, felt like the world was on his shoulders, bit by bit cracking off by telling sapnap everything. just like, the police, headmistress and everybody else to go, ha. he was so grateful for niki asking sir to slow down, because he was having trouble with his notes, too.

niki was an awesome person to karl, he was just too shy to go up to her, especially after she gained a group of newbies. he would occasionally say ''hi'' and ask how she was doing, but he couldn't do anything else, because his stutter would get in the way. karl hated his stutter, to be honest. it got in the way of alot of things, including meeting and making new friends. he wouldn't call himself an introvert, (though, foolish definitely would), more.. shy. he watched her in class a lot, though now he was realising it was a bit weird and rude to stare at a pretty girl, so he tried to stop that.

although he was too upset to admit it, he was actually falling behind in classes because his mind was filled with 'do i tell someone?', and, 'what if they don't believe me', 'what is he gonna do next?'. this was a punch to the gut when he got told, obviously, and he spent hours studying, which made him and foolish grow distant. he didn't mean this, in fact, this made him more stressed. he would stay up until four thirty in the morning, and would wake up at 6 to study more. he knew it was unhealthy, but he had to do it. well, he didn't. but to him, he did, if he wanted to be the best.

''karl, focusing.'' mrs. willis pointed out for the fifth time today. he actually almost cried because of this. he just nodded timidly, trying to keep up. he really didn't know how he was supposed to survive with these confidential study sessions, foolish leaving him and he himself hating his lower grades; A- and B. disgusting. to him, of course. to anyone else, that'd be wonderful! karl didn't know what to do. so he told foolish what was happening, someone he trusted with his life.

''he um.. yea..''

''oh my god karl, i'm so sorry we grew distant, just please, get rest? your keeping me up now.'' he joked playfully, nudging him slightly. ''are you okay? do you want me to tell mrs. dawson?'' by the way, mrs. dawson was the headmistress. she was calm for the majority of the time, but when she got angry; she was angry. scary, honestly.

''um.. well.. yeah..''

''of course, karl! would you like to be there?''

''no..''

''okay,thats okay. i want you to know i'm here, every step of the way, alright?''

''thanks. it is quite literally you i rely on.. is that alright? i'm sorry-''

''karl.''

''yeah?''

''its okay.''

=============================

im angry this took me forever.

so horrible of me.

anyway, i dont like this chapter that much but its my longest so yay!!

lots of love loveliesss 

-ivan

ps.. drink watah

:)