You are everything ⴵ [Natasha Romanoff]

Chapter 88

Chapter 88
Nat's POV

3 months! 3 whole months have gone by and Claire was still missing. We had no leads, there had been no sightings and each day seemed to pass like a blur. I hoped every single day that she was ok, but it was killing not knowing where she was, what she was going through or not even knowing if she was alive. Every morning I woke up and told Yelena I would be fine to sleep in my own room that night, only to end up back at her door each night in tears.

I tried my best to listen to Claire's words and not push people away. Some days I asked for help and some days I wanted to scream to be left alone. I held my tears in in front of everyone else but Clint, Yelena and Bucky. Everyone was doing all they could to try locate Claire but shield still had other work to do deal with and other missions had resumed. I hadn't left the compound since I came back not long after Claire was taken, I had been spending all my time focusing on finding her.

It was early in the morning. The sun was only just starting to come up and the sky was still half dark. I was sitting outside by the lake, under the tree that Claire always sat at to read. My mind was flooded by memories of times out here with her. Like the time it was pouring rain, but instead of running for cover Claire grabbed my hand and pulled me with her to dance in the rain. Or the time we laid on the ground watching clouds drift by and Claire and I laughed so much. Her laughter was unfiltered and loud. I had made her really laugh and the smile on my face had been from listening to that beautiful laugh. I even thought about the time Claire and I were walking to this spot and Claire was making fun of me for something and she tripped and half landed in the water. We both laughed so much and then she jumped up into my arms soaking wet. I remembered thinking well we may as well get in now, so with Claire in my arms I walked back towards the water. Her eyes went wide when she realised what I was doing and laughed as she tried to get out of my hold. I fell into the deeper part of the lake taking Claire with me. I let out a small laugh at the memory but it came out more like a sob. I hadn't even realised I was crying.
I heard a noise behind me and as I turned I saw Bucky. I turned back to the lake and wiped away the tears.

"Nat, are you ok? What are you doing out here?" Bucky asked as he approached me.

"I just needed to come sit out here" I answered. "It's Claire spot".

"I know" he said softly.

We both sat there looking out towards the water as the sun started taking over the night sky. I wasn't going to say anything but decided that I should.

"Do you know what today is?" I said not looking up from the lake.

I could tell that Bucky was looking at me with a confused look.

"I don't know sorry Nat" he replied.

"Claire and I started dating a year ago, and she's not even here with me to celebrate it" I explained.
Bucky put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently.

"You two can celebrate when she gets back, because we will get her back" he said softly.

"It's just not fair, why are they doing this to her, again?" I whispered.

"I wish I knew Nat, I really do".

After a long silence Bucky headed back inside and I followed not long after. No one else was down in the kitchen yet so I thought I would have a quick bite to eat before heading up to Tony's lab for the day to keep working on finding Claire.

"You should eat something more then a peanut butter sandwich" Clint suggested walking into the kitchen.

"It's better then not eating" I replied. "Are you heading off?"