Drunken Mistake

DM 03

When Wei Wuxian woke up the following morning he was snuggled in a comfortable bed, light was pouring in from a large east facing window. Everything was draped in cream and beige and looking elegant. Beside him an electronic clock gave the time as 10:00 am. He got up with a start only to recall that he was jobless now. But that was not the only thing that startled him. Why does everything hurt? 

He looked beside him to find a bao bun sitting in a plate along with two pills and a pitcher of orange juice. A note beside it said, 'Painkillers should not be taken on an empty stomach, especially after a night of drinking.' 

Wei Wuxian looked down to see that he was wearing crumpled white shirt and boxer briefs. The clothes were in his size but they weren't his. He winced trying to get down from the bed and limped to the washroom. He peed in a hurry and limped back, realizing that he wasn't hurting as much. The pain in his back prompted him to raise his shirt and take a glimpse in the bathroom mirror. He had a black bruise forming on his hip that looked painful. However, for the life of him, he couldn't recall what had happened after he started drinking. 

As he came back to the bedroom he noticed his phone charging on the counter. "Ah, finally," he exclaimed noting over a hundred messages and missed calls from the Jiang siblings and the Wen siblings. He poured himself a glass of orange juice when his phone started ringing. The name that flashed however gave him pause. "Who the heck is 'Hanguangjun'?" he wondered, taking the call. The name sounded familiar, awfully familiar. 

"Wei, who is this?" he asked. 

"Did you forget everything that happened last night?" a deep voice asked him from the other end. 

"I was drunk," Wei Wuxian admitted after some hesitation. 

"Yes, you were. I paid for the drinks," the man answered. 

"The drinks were on the house and my friend owns the place," Wei Wuxian countered. 

"Your friend may own the place but the drinks were on me and I want payback," the man answered. 

"What kind of payback?" Wei Wuxian asked. 

"There's a document inside the first drawer of your night stand on which the food and drinks are kept. Go through it and let me know. I'll allow two revisions, not more than that. Then meet me at the Civil Affairs Bureau at 3 pm sharp. We'll sign the contract and go through with the formality," the man replied. 

"Wait, you want me to go today? I can hardly move. What happened to me?" Wei Wuxian said in alarm. 

"You'll be fine once you take the pain killers. They are the non-drowsy type. After I settled you in the guest room last night, you got up to vomit. You missed the sink and threw up on the floor and then slipped in your own vomit. I had to clean you up and dress you," the man informed. 

"You dressed me?" Wei Wuxian asked, panic setting in. 

"Did you prefer that I dump you on the bed while covered in vomit? I am not attracted towards you. There's someone I like, or I should say love. I have been in love with him for a little over eighteen years. Yesterday I was supposed to get him drunk and get him to confess to me but you ruined it and now you have to compensate me. Go through the document and get back on this number," he declared, cutting the call. 

Wei Wuxian tentatively opened the drawer. It contained a two page document fresh out of the printer. He read the first line and his heart started beating loudly in his chest. His focus was locked on one word: 'Lan'. He shook his head and forced himself to shake his head. 

Prenuptial Agreement

This Prenuptial Agreement ("Agreement") is made and entered into on this [Date], by and between: