Drunken Mistake

DM 55

The soft hum of Suzhou's nightlife filtered through the thin walls of Lan Wangji's apartment. 

Outside, muffled laughter and the occasional car honk punctuated the stillness inside. His phone lay discarded on the futon beside him, its screen still lit with Wei Wuxian's last message.

Lan Wangji leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his head cradled in his hands. His heart pounded in his chest, the rhythm erratic and unrelenting. The words from their exchange swirled in his mind, each one unearthing memories he had spent years burying under the weight of guilt and shame.

"We were willing participants... I insisted."

His breath hitched, and his fists clenched tightly against his thighs. The memories surged forward, broken but unyielding. A younger version of himself, awkward and desperate to maintain control over the fragments of his composure, stood before an adamant though innocent Ying'er. The haze of that night blurred the edges, but the emotions remained sharp. Fear, confusion, a fleeting sense of safety wrapped in the warmth of A'Ying's presence, and then the crushing weight of shame that followed.

Lan Wangji stood abruptly, pacing the small living room. The shadows cast by the dim lighting danced across the walls, mocking him with their fluidity. His mind replayed Wei Wuxian's words on a relentless loop.

"I can't accept your apology for something you never did."

His steps faltered. He turned, pressing his back against the cold wall, the chill biting through the thin fabric of his shirt. He had spent nearly two decades painting himself as a villain in the story he had constructed. But now, that narrative crumbled like brittle parchment under the weight of truth.

His Ying'er's words, even through text, had a way of breaking down the walls he so carefully constructed.

***

Back at Hanshi, Wei Wuxian paced the courtyard, the cool stone beneath his feet grounding him. The night air carried the faint scent of blooming osmanthus, and the soft rustle of leaves provided a soothing backdrop. His phone remained in his hand, the screen dark now, waiting for a reply that didn't come.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Lan Zhan, you idiot," he murmured, a smile tugging at his lips despite himself. He could picture Lan Wangji now, brooding in that infuriatingly stubborn way of his, overthinking every word and action.

The smile faded as his thoughts wandered. Lan Wangji's pain was palpable, even through their brief exchange. It had always been there, through his meteoric rise as President Lan or his exceptional success as Hanguangjin. Now, with the clarity of time and perspective, he saw it for what it was: a deep-seated wound that Lan Wangji had never allowed to heal.

The lanterns along the courtyard flickered, their golden glow casting soft light over Wei Wuxian's features. He leaned against the railing of the pavilion, tilting his head back to gaze at the stars scattered across the inky sky.

"Lan Zhan," he whispered, as if the stars could carry his words to the man miles away. "When will you stop punishing yourself?"

***

In Suzhou, Lan Wangji's phone buzzed again. He startled, the sound pulling him from the depths of his thoughts. He hesitated, staring at the device as if it were a living thing capable of striking him down. Finally, he picked it up, his thumb trembling as he unlocked the screen.

The message was simple.

"Lan Zhan, I need you to listen to me."

Lan Wangji's brow furrowed. A'Ying's words always carried weight, even when they seemed lighthearted. He didn't reply but waited, his heart thudding in anticipation.

Another message appeared.

"I've spent years piecing myself back together, but I've never blamed you for what happened. If anything, you were my anchor when I was lost. You need to stop seeing yourself as the villain of our story."

Lan Wangji sat down heavily on the futon, his hands trembling. His lips parted as if to form a reply, but no words came.

The screen lit up again.

"If you can't believe in yourself, then believe in me. Believe that I don't say these things lightly. Believe that I've forgiven you, even when there's nothing to forgive."

Lan Wangji stared at the message, the weight of it pressing against his chest. His thumb hovered over the keyboard, but no reply came to mind. Instead, he closed his eyes, letting the words sink in. A'Ying's forgiveness was a balm he didn't know he needed, and yet, accepting it felt like an impossible task.

***

Wei Wuxian, meanwhile, sighed as he stared at his own phone. He could almost see Lan Wangji struggling with the reply, the way he would overanalyze every word. It was frustrating, endearing, and infuriating all at once.

Sliding his phone back into his pocket, he pushed off the railing and headed toward the Jingshi. The familiar pathways of Hanshi felt like an extension of himself, each turn and corridor holding memories he thought he had lost. The Jingshi, in particular, held a sacredness that made his steps falter as he approached.

He stopped at the door, hesitating. Would Lan Wangji even recognize the effort he had put into restoring this place? Would he see it as a gesture of affection, or would he view it as a painful reminder of their shared past? Wei Wuxian shook his head. Lan Wangji had to see it for himself, eventually.

***

Back in Suzhou, the night deepened, and the silence in Lan Wangji's apartment grew heavier. Finally, he picked up his phone, his fingers moving with newfound determination.

"I don't know if I can forgive myself, A'Ying."

The message sent, and for a moment, Lan Wangji felt a weight lift, only to be replaced by a different kind of heaviness. Admitting it was the first step, wasn't it?

Wei Wuxian's reply came swiftly, as if he had been waiting for this exact moment.

"Then let me forgive you for the both of us."

Lan Wangji stared at the words, the simplicity of them cutting through the chaos in his mind. His fingers tightened around the phone as he whispered to the empty room, "A'Ying..."

And for the first time in years, Lan Wangji allowed himself to hope.

A/N Right now Lan Wangji needs A'Ying more that A'Xian. How is Wei Wuxian's inner mind going to react to that reality. Stay tuned. 

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