The Red Star

Chapter 43

The jet had taken off just before the ground beneath it crumbled. Crys was curled up in one of the seats with Jay's jacket around her. She had her eyes closed and was leaning on Steve who had his arms around her tightly. She was shaking all over, as was Jay but for her sister it was out of weakness and for herself it was out of anger. She had a hardened look on her face and, despite everyone's attempts at making her think of something else, Jay was still fixed on the same thing. 

 Her cousin, Matthew, saw her and became genuinely concerned so he stood and sat across from her. He waited a moment then asked her,

"What's wrong?" 

 She looked up at him quickly, a frown on her face, and replied, 

"What do you think?"
"Jay calm down," Bucky insisted, "He's only trying to help."

"Yeah well," Jay began angrily, "He can help me by not bothering me."

"What is wrong with you?" Matthew said, severely annoyed.

"Really?" Jay said, "You are seriously gonna ask me that?" she sat up and continued, "Why don't you use that CEO brain of yours and figure it out."

"Okay, you know what?" Matthew said, "You need to let that go. You ran away when my dad tried to take you in. It's not my fault that you didn't become successful. You had the chance and you threw it away."

"I was a little kid!" Jay was now almost shouting, "I just saw my parents murdered and your going to blame me for running away?"

"And do what? What exactly were you planning to do?!" Matt said.

"To find who killed my parents!" Jay shouted.

 Bucky looked at her, severely concerned, and almost afraid. What she would say next though, hurt him so deeply, that Charles looked back at him with pity. Matthew was silent now, as were the others who had been trying to avoid the conversation anyway. Jay's hands were shaking and she could feel the anger build up inside her slowly.

"I wanted to find whoever murdered them and kill him myself. Even if it meant leaving a life of luxury, and i am still willing to give that up to find him."

"Jay," Crys mumbled as she forced herself to sit up, "Stop it."

"Stop what?" Jay asked, frustrated.

"Stop getting into the past, it isn't going to help anything." Crys replied, the bruises and cuts slowly healing.

"Why? He's the one who asked !" Jay answered.

"Jay c'mon." Crys moaned.

"Okay, sweetheart, calm down." Peter Quill could be heard saying. He seated himself next to Matthew but was not buckled in.

"Don't tell me to calm down Quill boy! I have a legitimate reason to be angry right now!" Jay said, feeling her buckles straining to keep her still.

"Sure but not at her," Peter said.

"And since when did you care?" Jay laughed sarcastically.

"Since I figured out you were family." Peter replied, sounding a little hesitant at his attempt to be sentimental.

 Jay laughed and said,

"Yeah that's rich!"

 The young Moyra, who was seated beside Bucky looked at him nervously, watching him closely as he balled his hands into fists and frowned.

"Jay, I really think you need to take a breather." Moyra chimed in.

Confused as to who spoke at first, Jay looked around then said,

"I'd like to see you calm down after seeing what those monsters did to my sister!"

"Yeah we see what happened," Peter cut in, "But the base is destroyed and she is safe now, just relax."

 Jay set her jaw and leaped forward, the buckles not standing a chance. Within a second she had Peter by the collar and had made a quick not towards the door and it opened. 

"Jay!" Crys shouted.

 Not paying any attention to anyone, and restraining them in their seats with her telepathic powers, Jay let Peter go and he slipped back and out of the jet. Jay watched him but something whizzed by her so quickly that not even she knew what it was. She frowned and looked over the edge, jumping back when Crys landed back in the jet with Peter. 

"Peter you should sit down." Crys advised him ion a raspy voice.

 Peter glared at Jay as he made his way to his seat, the wind blowing their hair about in all directions. Jay returned the frown and when she looked back at Crys, she forgot about holding the others down and Bucky immediately stood.

"Donn't you think I'm angry too?" Crys asked her.

"I have no doubt you are, but I am too!" Jay replied, "Probably more than you."

"More than me?" Crys repeated angrily, "What on God's green earth gave you the notion that you could possibly be more angry than me? It was my body they mutilated! It was my mind they played with! What right do you have to take your anger out on your own friends?! That makes you no better than them!"

 Jay was silent then let out a frustrated exhale and turned around only to be stopped by Bucky. She looked up at him and said,

"What?"

"Get out." he said.

"Excuse me?" Jay said, she couldn't believe that he had just said that.

"I said get out." Bucky replied, crossing his arms. "You can fly the rest of the way." When Jay didn't move Bucky shouted, "Get out!"

 Jay almost jumped at this and stepped back, looking at Bucky disbelievingly. 

"I said go!" he said.

"Fine!" Jay shouted back before hopping out of the jet angrily.

 Bucky let out a sigh when she vanished and he put his arm around Crys, leading her back to her seat where Steve still was, eager to remain out of this confrontation, knowing that if he became involved he probably would have thrown them all out of the jet. Bucky looked back at the door and saw Logan asleep next to the controls. He rolled his eyes and, after seating Crys practically on Steve's lap, he walked over and pressed the button to close the door. Logan moved around then opened his eyes a moment before closing them and asking,

"What did I miss?"

"Jay was being Jay." Bucky replied.

 Logan chuckled and answered, "Glad I slept through that then."

"Lucky you." Bucky said.

 He walked in silence over to his seat and sighed when he finally sat down. Moyra looked at him sadly and asked,

"You gonna be okay?"

 Bucky was silent a moment then said,

"I'm not sure."

 When he said these words, a dark fear came over him. It made him shiver and his stomach turned. He couldn't tell her now, she would hate him. At this point she would probably try and kill him if he told her, and quite frankly he didn't care. He had contemplated suicide on more than one occasion. Life just meant nothing to him if she wasn't in it. Everything he had ever done revolved around her and if she left or was taken from him, he wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger. It was as if she was his sun, if she was gone his whole world would die off, slowly and painfully. But then his stomach turned again when he thought of how much she hated her parents' killer and therefore hated him, but loved him. He loved her with a love that, as a bit of a playboy that he used to be, he never had experienced before. 

 Yet a smile came to his lips when he remembered the kisses he stole, how she returned them and how he held her. Everything about her touch said that she loved him, but she didn't say it, yet neither did he. He sat back and leaned his head back, trying to hold on to those memories to numb the pain that was slowly eating him away. It was a turmoil that only she could fix and he prayed that she would be willing to fix him.