Falling for Your Lies(sope)

Was it a Mistake?

Hoseok's pov

Was falling in love a mistake?

The answer is yes.

I know that now, because I'm dead. My heart doesn't beat anymore, my lungs don’t draw air. I’m gone, lost to the world like I was never really here to begin with. All because I couldn’t stop giving myself away. All because of him.

Yoongi.

I didn’t mean for it to end this way. I never thought it would. But love—it wasn’t love, was it? It was a game. A trick. A lie so perfectly constructed that I fell for it, and now I’m the one who paid the price.

I should have known. Looking back, I see all the signs. I can trace the threads of it, winding all the way back to when I was just a kid. The way I could never say no. The way my heart would bend and break for everyone else but myself.

I think my dad knew. He saw it in me, even when I didn’t.

I remember one day, when I was little. I had this toy car. It wasn’t much, just a simple thing, but it was mine. I used to play with it for hours, imagining it could take me far away from everything that hurt. My mom was gone by then, and my dad was already sick. I felt like that car was the only thing I could control.

Then one day, a boy from my class, a bully, saw me playing with it. He came over, all smiles, and asked if he could borrow it. I should have known better. I should have said no. But I couldn’t. My heart wouldn’t let me.

I handed the car over, even though I knew what would happen. And just like I feared, he walked away with it, laughing. I cried for hours afterward, the loss of that stupid little car feeling like the end of the world.

When I told my dad, he just shook his head and sighed. "Your heart will get you killed one day," he said. "You give too much of it away."

I thought he was wrong. I wanted him to be wrong. But now, I know he was right.

Because that’s what killed me in the end—my heart. I gave it to Yoongi, just like I’d given that car to that bully all those years ago. I gave it to him willingly, even though deep down, I knew what he was capable of. I knew what people like him could do to someone like me.

But I still couldn’t say no.

I’ve never been able to.

Like that time in high school when I was studying late in the library. I had an important test the next day, but my friend, Somi, needed help with her art project. She begged me to stay up with her, to help her get it done before the deadline. I wanted to say no. I knew I should. But the look in her eyes, the way she said she couldn’t do it without me… I ended up staying until 4 a.m. I failed my test the next day, but Somi got an A. And I didn’t regret it, because at least I had made her happy.

Or the time my boss at the restaurant asked me to cover a shift on my one day off. I hadn’t seen my father in weeks because of work and school, and I had promised him I’d spend that day with him. But when my boss looked at me and said they were short-staffed, I found myself nodding, even though every part of me wanted to say no. My dad didn’t say anything when I told him. He just smiled that sad smile of his, like he was used to being let down.

And now, I’ve let him down again. Permanently.

Yoongi was the final test I couldn’t pass. I should have seen through him. I should have known what he was really after. But my heart—the same heart that had always been too big, too soft, too willing to believe in the best of people—handed itself over to him without hesitation. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to be enough for him.

But he didn’t want me. Not really.

I was just a bet. A game. A conquest to win, to brag about to his friends. And I played right into his hands. I loved him. I gave him everything I had. And when he was done with me, he didn’t just walk away.

He destroyed me.

The video he made—the one he showed to everyone at school, of us together in the most intimate moment of my life—he made sure everyone saw it. He made sure I had nowhere to hide.

He took what little I had left and tore it apart.

And now, I’m dead. I couldn’t live with the shame. The pain. The feeling of being stripped bare and thrown to the wolves. So I did the only thing I could.

I ended it.

My father, if he finds out… I’m sorry, Dad. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it. But in the end, my heart was always going to get me killed.

And I guess it did.

"A note found in the pocket of a young boy and a student of new hive international schools of south Korea who committed suicide." The news reporter said to the audience.

So... This book has been in my head for awhile now.

It's going to be a short book.

Just wanted to publish this book so I won't forget the idea and everything.

Will finish writing it after writing my other books🥲