Falling for Your Lies(sope)

Falling Apart.

Authors pov

Hoseok wandered through the heart of Seoul, his steps heavy, dragging one foot in front of the other. He felt as if he were drifting in a daze, numb, detached, as though the world around him had blurred into something cold and unforgiving. He felt hollow. Like his lungs refused to breathe, his heart slowed to a painful crawl. His tears fell silently, trailing down his cheeks without sound, unnoticed and unchecked, like a broken faucet he couldn’t fix. He barely noticed the lights, the people, or the cars honking as he stumbled into the road. None of it mattered.

He staggered into the middle of the road, indifferent to the cars zooming past. He didn’t care. If a car ran him over, if this was how it ended, then so be it. Nothing mattered. He’d managed to leave the university campus somehow, the guard barely sparing him a second glance before sneering and suggesting Hoseok consider working at a brothel, “where he belonged.” Hoseok hadn’t said a word in reply, just blinked as if hearing it from somewhere far away. So the video had reached even him.

The words had stung, but Hoseok hadn’t flinched. He’d only turned away, numb. So everyone knew now. His mind drifted back to that night, the moment replaying in his head like some nightmarish loop. He remembered that video, the scandal, how his face—his whole being—was laid bare, for anyone to see. It spread like wildfire, devoured by the hungry eyes of Seoul. It felt like all of Seoul knew; he was nothing but a viral spectacle, a scandal etched into every whisper, every passing glance.

Everywhere he went, the reminder of his humiliation waited, lingering around every corner, ready to sting him again and again. Who didn’t know? Who hadn’t seen? His life, once filled with dreams and his father’s unwavering pride, had been shattered, reduced to that one moment captured and thrown to the wolves.

He thought of his father. The only person who had seen him as more than he saw himself, who had always reminded him of his worth. But now, his father was gone too. Gone without a final goodbye, without a chance to say how much he loved him, to apologize for not being perfect son. The familiar, comforting image of the only person he’d lived for, the only person who’d ever looked at him with pure, unyielding love. And now his father was gone too. Gone without a goodbye, without one last chance for Hoseok to say he was sorry or to hear the reassuring words his father always gave. You’re a perfect son. I’ll always be proud of you.

“I’m sorry…” he murmured to the empty night, voice quivering. “I’m so sorry, Dad.” He felt his throat tighten as he looked up at the sky, searching for some sign, some reassurance, anything to tell him his father could still see him, that he wasn’t completely alone. “Are you…still proud of me?” he whispered, his voice breaking. But there was no answer, only the empty sky staring back down at him, unmoved.

The sky was silent, indifferent, and the pain of it only hollowed him further. His throat tightened, and he lowered his gaze, his chest heaving as a car blared its horn at him. A woman leaned out of her window, shouting angrily, telling him to move, calling him a “useless waste.”

He barely reacted, only managing a small, empty laugh. He lifted his arms in a reckless shrug. “I’m already fucked!” he shouted, his voice raw and broken. He lowered his arms in defeat, running a hand through his tangled hair as he laughed, the sound hollow and desperate. Nothing made sense anymore; he didn’t know who he was or where he was going, and he didn’t want to care.

“Why did you have to leave me?” he choked out, his voice trembling. “Why…why didn’t I get a chance to say goodbye

kept walking, aimless, lost, until a faint sound drifted to him—the soft, rhythmic crashing of waves. He paused, head tilted as if listening to something beautiful and terrible, a siren call. He looked up and saw it, the bridge looming ahead, silent and waiting.

Hoseok took a shaky breath, his feet moving toward it as though it was the answer he’d been seeking all along. He reached the railing, grasping it tightly, knuckles white as he looked down, the dark, swirling water calling to him. The vastness of it seemed almost peaceful, a final resting place that could swallow his pain, his memories, his humiliation.

A soft smile crept onto his face, tears spilling down his cheeks as he lifted his gaze to the stars. “You really want me gone, huh?” he murmured to the empty night, the words barely audible above the gentle whisper of the waves.

He tightened his grip on the railing, leaning forward, his heart pounding as he stared down at the dark, endless water below, welcoming the release he so desperately craved.