Falling for Your Lies(sope)

Confessions in Shambles.

Authors pov

Hoseok sat on the edge of Jungkook’s bed, fingers twisting the fabric of his shirt as he looked up, eyes red-rimmed and glistening with unshed tears. He had managed a few restless hours in his own room, but now, only one place felt like it could offer him a hint of solace: Jungkook’s dorm.

I… I finally let him…” Hoseok’s voice broke, barely above a whisper, “I finally let Yoongi… you know, sleep with me.”

Jungkook’s face fell, a mix of shock and hurt passing over his features. Hoseok flinched at the expression; he’d known Jungkook wouldn’t be thrilled to hear it, but seeing the disappointment on his best friend’s face cut deeper than he’d prepared for.

“Jungkook, I know I messed up,” he choked, feeling his composure crumbling, “I know it. But I couldn’t—" He hiccuped, swallowing against the lump in his throat. "If I didn’t do it, he might’ve left… and I—I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving me.”

Jungkook’s silence felt heavy. He finally shook his head, a quiet, almost painful sigh escaping his lips. Hoseok’s words kept tumbling out, desperation clinging to every syllable

Am I being stupid?” Hoseok asked, a sob catching in his throat. “Is it wrong to still love him, even when I know—deep down—I know he doesn’t feel the same? I keep wondering… was I just some challenge to him? Someone to conquer so he could prove something to everyone…?” Hoseok’s voice broke again, a choked gasp leaving his lips. “That he got to sleep with the person who stole his title as class captain…”

Tears began to trickle down his cheeks, and he struggled to hold Jungkook’s gaze. “I think… I think he just wanted to prove he could… y'know? Be the one who finally got me to… to give in. Like it was some trophy for him or something because… I… I took his class captain title." His voice grew faint, filled with a hurt he couldn’t contain.

Jungkook reached out, resting a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “Hoseok, you don’t have to do this—”

“I do!” Hoseok interrupted, his voice rising, unsteady. "It… it was my first time, Jungkook.” Hoseok’s words were barely coherent, pouring out in broken fragments. “I thought… maybe it’d mean something… anything… but he didn’t care. Not once. He was rough—never asked if I was okay… even when I… when I told him to slow down… to stop...” His shoulders shook with the weight of the memories. “But I consented, didn’t I? I gave him that chance, so I can’t… I can’t blame him. I’m pathetic, just like he always says. I’m—”

A string of incoherent words left him, a rambling confession of jumbled regrets. “It was… I should have… but maybe if I hadn’t—" he stammered, his voice faint and broken, "it’s just… all of it… my fault. I wanted him to… but he… I mean, I thought it’d… make him stay. But it hurt, Kook… it hurt so bad…”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around Hoseok, pulling him into a tight hug as he felt his friend collapse against him. “It’s okay, Hobi,” he murmured, stroking his back in soothing circles. “You don’t have to say anything else, okay? Just… just breathe.”

But even as Jungkook tried to calm him, Hoseok kept sobbing, clutching Jungkook’s shirt as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. “I shouldn’t feel like this… not after saying yes… shouldn’t be so pathetic… he always tell's me I'm pathetic…”

"I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t feel like this… it’s my fault… I’m stupid…”

“Stop, Hobi. Stop,” Jungkook whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re not pathetic. None of this is your fault. Yoongi had no right…” His voice trailed off, struggling to contain his own feelings.

Hoseok continued crying, the weight of his feelings finally spilling over after being locked away for too long. Jungkook held him firmly, letting him pour out everything he’d been bottling up, whispering assurances whenever he could.

After a while, Jungkook leaned back, looking into Hoseok’s tear-stained face. “Hobi… listen to me,” he said, his tone gentle but serious. “Right now, the only thing that matters is you. You have so much ahead of you, don’t throw it away on someone who doesn’t see you for who you are. You’re worth so much more than this.”

Hoseok sniffled, nodding slowly, though he knew deep down that no matter how much sense Jungkook made, his heart was still tethered to Yoongi. As much as it hurt, he knew he’d end up right back where he started.

And that was perhaps the most painful realization of all.

This hurt my heart 🥲