He is too well-behaved

Chapter 4: No Children

           Shen Gusi was awakened by the cold.

　　He is particularly afraid of cold. When he is alone at home, no matter how hot it is, he doesn't like to turn on the air conditioner and only uses the electric fan.

　　Shen Gusi would only turn on the air conditioner if Xu Jiashen was around. It wasn't because he cared about the electricity bill, but because Shen Shen was different. He was afraid of heat, which would make him feel bad.

　　For Shen Gusi, everything he did was to please Shen Shen.

　　He can wear more clothes and drink more hot water. The cold is easy to endure, but the heat is unacceptable even for a second.

　　Shen Gusi always accommodated Xu Jiashen in every aspect, and he never felt wronged. Many years ago, when he decided to come to Xu Jiashen, he couldn't help but regret it.

　　When you love someone, you should do everything you can to treat him well. That is his own choice and you can never say that you feel wronged.

　　Shen Gusi climbed up from the bed. There was no quilt on him. He was lying there naked. No wonder he felt cold.

　　The place next to him was empty. Shen Gusi touched it and found it was cold. The person must have left long ago.

　　"Why did you sneak away like this without telling me..."

　　There was no quilt on the bed, so Shen Gusi found a crumpled quilt on the floor next to where Xu Jiashen was sleeping.

　Maybe it was because last night, Shen Shen felt that the quilt was too hot, so he threw it on the ground.

　　Shen Gusi got out of bed with difficulty. After each movement, he needed to slow down for a while before moving on to the next one. His joints were like rusty parts that had to be taken apart and then reassembled.

　　The discomfort in the lower body was still uncomfortable even after a night, and the liquid that had been put in had dried at the base of the thighs. Shen Gusi barely supported his body with his legs, picked up the quilt on the ground, and walked into the bathroom tremblingly.

　　After taking a quick shower and changing into clean clothes, Shen Gusi still felt cold, so he turned off the air conditioner and put on a coat over his long-sleeved shirt.

　　Having not slept well the whole night and catching a cold, Shen Gusi felt a little dizzy and his steps became slow and heavy.

　　Passing by the closet, he saw his pale, almost bloodless face in the full-length mirror.

　　The dark eyes are covered with a layer of mist over the years, but they still look young, but it can only last for a few years. Will there come a day when people get tired of looking at them?

　　Everything is distant and unknown, yet seems so close.

　　Shen Gusi just made himself some food to fill his stomach, and then he looked a little more energetic.

　　I took out the report form that I had hidden after returning from the hospital yesterday from the drawer of my bedroom. The paper was wrinkled due to being wet by the rain, and the ink from the printer had spread, making the words look blurry.

　　When in the hospital, there was a moment when Shen Gusi's mind really appeared the scene of handing the report to Xu Jiashen.

　　Subconsciously, I couldn't help but have expectations in my heart, but after I woke up, the picture was shattered.

　　That's impossible.

　　Last night, Xu Jiashen's attitude was already very clear.

　　Xu Jiashen, who would not even accept it as a joke, would definitely feel disgusted if he really knew that Shen Gusi was pregnant and would drive him away like a monster.

　　He had already made Shen Shen dislike him enough, and he didn't want to make Shen Shen hate him completely.

　　Let's fight.

　　A whisper suddenly sounded in his ears. Shen Gusi was startled and looked around, but there was no one else.

　　That was the voice that came from the bottom of his heart.

　　Do you want to... have an abortion?

　　It is three months now, and my belly is only slightly bulging. I usually wear loose short-sleeved shirts so nothing can be seen, and nothing abnormal has been noticed when I am in bed.

　　But truth will come to light sooner or later, and as time goes by, her belly will show. As long as he wants to stay by Xu Jiashen's side, he will be discovered one day.

　　By then, it will be too late.

　　Very cruel.

　　Shen Gusi never thought that one day he would have to kill a life with his own hands.

　　"sorry."

　　He lowered his head and gently stroked his belly, as if his palm could sense a living, beating life.

　　As if knowing that he was being abandoned, Shen Gusi felt the child's protest. The feeling of love between them made his heart feel like a huge hole had been pierced.

　　He must be feeling resentful, resentful of himself for abandoning him.

　　"sorry."

　　"Forgive me for selfishly depriving you of your right to be born. I hope that next time, you can be born into a family that will truly love you and look forward to having you."

　　——

　　Shen Gusi decided to go to the hospital in the afternoon to have the baby aborted.

　　The longer the night, the more dreams he would have. He was afraid that the more he hesitated, the more reluctant he would be.

　　Shen Gusi had no appetite at noon, so he reluctantly ate some bread that he found in the cupboard and bought at some unknown time, and then set off early.

　　I don't know if the doctor from yesterday is here today. Shen Gusi hopes that she can help him perform the operation. After all, it is embarrassing enough for a man to get pregnant and have an abortion, so of course the fewer people who know about it, the better.

　　Arriving at the hospital, Shen Gusi queued up to register, enduring the curious gazes of the window staff. After paying, he quickly fled with his medical record book.

　　It's so painful.

　　He became more and more sensitive, and always felt that someone in the crowd was staring at him with strange eyes and could see through him at a glance.

　　It is right not to keep this child.

　　If his belly really gets big, he won't just be looked at with scrutiny. Scientific researchers might come and take him away for investigation.

　　Just thinking about it, Shen Gusi broke out in a cold sweat.

　　"So I thought?"

　　He heard someone calling him.

　　The voice was very close. Shen Gusi turned his head and looked in the direction of the voice. He saw He Zhou sitting in a wheelchair behind him, and Xu Jiashen was pushing He Zhou and looking at him with suspicious and displeased eyes.

　　"Shen Shen......"

　　Shen Gusi murmured softly, as if suddenly awakened, and put the hand holding the medical record book behind his back.