He is too well-behaved

Chapter 53. I am sick and I am dying.

　　"Thank you, He Zhou."

　　For some reason, Shen Gusi always felt that He Zhou was shrouded in sadness, his brows were always furrowed and unable to relax, and he always had something on his mind.

　　But it seemed that He Zhou didn't want to talk, so Shen Gusi stopped asking. Maybe everyone has his or her own unspeakable difficulties, and the more he was asked, the more it would poke at the wound in his already broken heart.

　　"Gu Si, I told him about how you helped me not to marry Xu Jiashen. You won't be angry, will you?"

　　Shen Gusi was slightly stunned. He had almost forgotten about this matter a long time ago: "Why would I be angry? I don't even remember it."

　　He Zhou let out a long sigh: "That's good, I was afraid you would think I was meddling in other people's business, but don't worry, I haven't said anything else except this matter."

　　"But..." He Zhou hesitated for a long time, but still asked: "Have you told him about the child?"

　　"No."

　　Shen Gusi answered straightforwardly: "I don't plan to tell him. Whether he knows it or not, it doesn't affect the relationship between him and me."

　　"But he is the father of the child after all, and since you two want to be together now, you shouldn't hide anything. Gu Si, I think you should tell me."

　　He Zhou saw Shen Gusi lowering his head and deliberately avoiding his gaze.

　　"So I thought." He sighed, "What are you afraid of?"

　　"I......"

　　The words that you are unwilling to say become a heavy stone weighing on your heart.

　　He Zhou saw his embarrassment and was unwilling to force him: "If you don't want to talk, it's okay..."

　"What if he finds out and despises me?" Shen Gusi looked up: "What if he thinks I'm a monster? What if he can't accept it? What if..."

　　Shen Gusi became more and more excited as he spoke.

　　"Think therefore, think therefore."

　　He Zhou suddenly pulled him out of the abyss of fear. He stared at He Zhou in a daze. He Zhou comforted him with gentle eyes: "Gu Si, no, Xu Jiashen will not dislike you, don't scare yourself."

　　He saw Shen Gusi's fear.

　　Shen Gusi shook his head: "But he said so."

　　Some words we have heard are like scars on the body. Some fade away with time and are gradually forgotten, but some will never disappear and remain there forever.

　　Shen Gusi could not forget the word "disgusting" that Xu Jiashen said. Maybe Xu Jiashen had forgotten what he said, but for Shen Gusi, that was the source of his nightmare.

　　Why did he hate his body so much and hate looking in the mirror? Why did he feel depressed for a long time after giving birth to Lulu? A big part of the reason was because of the word "disgusting" that Xu Jiashen said at the time.

　　"But that was said in the past. Xu Jiashen wouldn't think that way now."

　　"But no one can guarantee it, right?" Shen Gusi asked back, "I don't want to take risks. I just want to keep my current life. This is good enough."

　　He Zhou looked at Shen Gusi's expression. He knew that Shen Gusi was not feeling well either. "Okay, it's okay. As long as you think this is the best, then... cough, cough, cough."