The Bolter | Walker Scobell

Chapter 50

June 30th 2024

Walkers view :

I looked at Mel, a smile finding itself on my lips immediately because how can she be that perfect ? And how is she my girlfriend ?

She was scrolling around on her phone, letting out a giggle about something she saw here and there and every time I heard her it was like my heart was growing warmer

I felt like a bit of a creep if I'm honest because while my phone was in my hands I couldn't pay it any attention, she was like a magnet, impossible to look away from

She started humming along to the music that was coming out of her phone god I love her

Wait. I raised my eyebrows, I love her ? Woah. That's a little... I never thought about that before and it gave me a weird feeling in my stomach, but not the bad kind, the smile returned to my face because I do love her.

I love Mel... Mel there it was again, no matter how much time I spend trying to figure out what the deal about her name was I couldn't figure it out

I didn't really mind it that much, I mean what do I care as long as she's comfortable ?

But there was just something that made me so curious about it, what could possibly make it that big of a deal ?

"Wouldn't it be cool to be a cloud ?" She looked up at me with wide eyes and that really cute excited expression she always has but the words she spoke went almost unnoticed by me because of how deep I was in my thoughts

"Huh ?"

"A cloud, that would be so cool. Just floating around all day doing nothing and you see everything. Colours, people, animal" I frowned a little at her, my smile not leaving my face, it never did when she was around if I'm completely honest

"Mel are you high? What did you put in those brownies ?"

"I'm not high" she laughed that heartwarming laugh again

"Uh huh"

"I'm nott"

"Okay" she rolled her eyes at me and crossed her legs to sit upwards a little "so I've been thinking- save your comment, yes I can think- when am I gonna know your name ?" Her smile dropped and I immediately regretted my words, it was just the curiosity shit she looked away from me, her eyes darting anywhere but to me

"Walker..." shit shit shit

"Maybe when we hit a year ?" I tried to give her her space with it

"Walker"

"Because Im willing to wait Mel, but I'm just saying isn't it really ridiculous that I don't know your name ? We've been dating for over a month and that's fine but do you understand what I mean?" she didn't respond, playing with the hem of her sleeve while I tried to catch her eyes

"Walker can we please not do this"

"I just want to have this out once is that too much to ask ? I don't want you to say it right now but shouldn't I know my girlfriend's name at some point ?"

"I can't" it was only a whisper, barely loud enough for me to hear

"Come on why is it that difficult ?"

"Walker please can we not ?"

"No but how long are we gonna go on like this ? How long am I gonna walk around telling people that I don't know my girlfriend's actual name" what was I doing ?

"I'm sorry"

"How are we gonna keep working like this Mel ?" Shut up Walker

"Maybe we're not" I didn't know what she meant by that but she sounded so hurt I wanted to stop

"Mel" she was quiet, it was like I was watching her having a fight with her brain. It's not that Mel was an easy person to read, she wasn't. She had mastered the way to hide away but her eyes told me everything I needed and it made me curse myself out internally cause I am an asshole

"No. I can't keep going like this"

"I didn't mean it like that Mel"

"I did. This just wasn't supposed to work" does she actually mean that ? Does she really think it isn't going to work ?

"Come on Mel I'm sorry let's just..."

"No, Walker don't you get it ? It's always going to turn back to this. We're always going to be spinning the conversation until we're right here at this point" she got louder, her voice changed and I felt my own eyes burning up as she talked shit shit shit this isn't happening

"What are you saying ?" I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted the answer to that

"I can't go on like this" I shook my head like trying to wake myself up, this wasn't happening. "We should just break things off before we get too attached" a single tear left my eye, she avoided to look at me completely, she was so hurt. I hurt her. I hurt Mel. I'm an asshole. I love Mel.

"Yeah maybe we should,... it's for the better huh ?" What the fuck Walker ? This is bullshit.

"It's just not going to work, it was never meant to work" she stood up from the bed and took her bag leaving my room, my gaze remained on the space that just a minute ago I felt drawn to because she had been there. I closed my eyes to escape the memory but was left with her smile right in front of my eyes

Fuck fuck fuck

I really tried to keep my shit together but I was entirely lost, I didn't have a clear thought in my head and all I wanted was to lay down and cry

So of course I did what I always did when I entirely fucked up and had no idea what to do, well before I did that I opened messages and went on Mel's chat

I'm sorry

That was also such a stupid thing because what the hell would that mean ? What am I apologising for ? I have so much to be apologising for which one could I possibly mean ?

I needed my brain to just shut up and keep quiet even if it was at least for a second

I clicked on my first pinned contact and immediately clicked on the phone hearing it ring no answer

"Come on Belle" I whispered quietly to myself calling her again. I never called twice but I really needed her right now

Authors note:
Okay so this kinda hurt even more from walkers perspective 😔
Oh and if you hadn't noticed yet Walker is a huge simp for Mel 🤪🤪
Anywayssss hope you enjoyed the chapter <33