How To Play The Game.

twenty six - lily

There was a soft knock on Lily's bedroom door and she let out a groan, rolling over and burying her face in her pillow. She knew that it was Luke, trying for the millionth time to come in and talk to her, but Lily didn't want to talk to him.

After Lily tried ignoring the knocking for a while she finally gave in and rolled over so she was looking up at the ceiling again. "Come in!" She yelled.

Luke opened the door slowly and walked in the room, staring down at his feet as he made his way over to Lily's bed and took a seat on the edge of it. Lily sat up and stared at Luke for a long time, neither of them saying anything.

She wasn't mad that Luke was gay or bisexual or whatever he wanted to be, she was just mad that he didn't tell her. Lily understood that her brother was obviously scared and insecure about this whole thing, but she thought that after literally being his best friend for their entire lives he would maybe confide in her. It was a stupid thing to get upset about, but Lily really wished that Luke wouldn't have kept this a secret.

"Do you hate me?" Luke whispered, still unable to look up at Lily.

"No." She shook her head and scooted over so Luke could sit next to her. He climbed under the covers with her and pulled them up so they were almost covering his face.

"Are you mad at me?" Luke questioned further, his voice muffled from Lily's comforter.

"No, not really." Lily shrugged. "I'm not mad that you're gay, I'm just mad that you kept it a secret from me."

"Okay. And I'm-I'm not gay." Luke stammered, his voice shaky. Lily really hoped that he wasn't going to cry again, she couldn't stand to see him cry. Luke was her big brother, he was supposed to be the one sitting with her while she cried, not the other way around.

"Okay..." Lily said slowly. She'd never had to deal with anything like this before, she didn't know how she was supposed to react to any of it. "Then what are you?"

"I don't know." Luke sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, sitting up to face Lily. "I've always just though that I was straight, you know? I dated girls when I was a teenager and I thought that was it, I'd never done anything with a guy until a couple months ago."

"Alright." Lily nodded, not wanting to interrupt Luke at all. She kind of already knew who the guy was that Luke had been messing around with, it was obvious now (and Michael told her), but Lily wanted Luke to tell his story on his own.

"I liked it, I liked being with a guy but then I still liked when I was with girls too, but I just didn't know if I liked one more than the other so I never wanted to say anything." Luke chuckled to himself, shaking his head. "God, this is so pathetic."

"No it's not." Lily sighed.

"I guess I want to say that I'm bisexual, but I feel like that's kind of a stupid thing to say because I think it's obvious that I like guys a little more than I like girls. But I'm not gay, and I'm not straight, and I just don't know, Lil." Luke rubbed his eyes, trying to stop himself from crying.

"You don't have to label yourself." Lily said quickly, trying to comfort Luke. "I mean, it's okay if you don't know exactly how you feel. It's okay."

"I know." Luke nodded, letting out a big sigh. "I just wish that I wasn't like this and I wish that I just liked girls like any other normal guy my age..."

"I think it's pretty normal for guys your age to like boys, too." Lily shrugged. She really wasn't bothered at all by Luke have feelings for boys as well as girls. He was free to like whoever he wanted and it didn't concern her at all. If he liked boys then that was fine.