Discovering the Power of Agape Love

Chapter 7: First Love

Chapter 7: First Love
Music: First Love by Hillsong Young and Free

Main Verse: 1 John 4:19:
"We love because he first loved us."

Love is everywhere and perfect. Love creates magical powers and conquers all worries, but not at all can it give the true meaning of love. Where nothing is expected in return. Nonetheless, first love never dies; it lasts forever. First love is a first-time feeling that you can't express already, but it gives you a high inspiration to proceed in your life. More over, this is the person who you first see a future with and want you to be last. However, we must be wise and know our words and actions, because love is often playful that you will regret in the end.

As years go by, I always ask for attention and care until I meet him- the man that I waited and loved for so long. He is my first love, where I want to be with him until I achieve my goals in my life. Love is always a fighter, I started my first relationship with him when I was so young. We are in a long distance relationship. Fiest, it's really hard to be far with him. I accept and we still make our relationship stronger. But love isn't not about happiness, it is more struggles and pain. Our trust in each other was always tested. Still, we communicate because being far away requires understanding and communication.

Our love has lasted for 6 years, but I can't say all of that is true. I only experienced his presence, but physically we didn't see each other. From that, he became a small puzzle to my heart, we ended because the trust that we built is no longer strong anymore. I thought he would be my last, but I was wrong, I was just putting myself into a fantasy world.

Until I asked myself, "Do I deserve this? I think all of this is my fault. Maybe we met but we're not destined for each other."

I am now stuck on my random thoughts, I realized, it's also hard to fall completely and be trapped in love. I almost wrote a lot of poems because of the heart-break that I already experienced. Yet, I learned and I found my true and first love, He is Jesus. I just forgot and focused on the other things in this world.

It was the time I was alone and crying every night. I talk to God, because I can't take this anymore-the love that I have from my past. From that, I feel a calm and warm hug. His words say, "I am here for you, just go back and know that I am your God. I will guide and help you throughout your whole journey."

My night was emotional. Yet, I release everything to Him. I rant, confess and ask for help. I don't want to experience being in love with the wrong person. I wanted to feel the love that was for sure and true.

Along my journey, it was all painful. I always ended broken relationships because I am finding love for others. But I am wrong, I failed and still did not contain the feeling of enough. I am lost, I am unloved. I am not worthy. Somehow, God is always beside me. God gave me hope, and forgave me. I just feel loved again, when I try to attend a gathering in our church, I feel safe and enough.

One day, I was listening to one of the pastors in the church. The topic is all about First Love. Everyone was actively participating because it is a romantic topic. But, the deep and biblical meaning of this, the topic is about Jesus who died on the cross for us. He loved us first before us, so He did it. All of the pain that He experienced from the cross of calvary was because of His love and being obedient to His father.

Then I listen carefully to the speaker and I take note of all of the things in the preach. On that day, I am confident to say to myself that His love is unlimited and unconditional. Until I begin to fix myself. Surrender all to Him and little by little, forget and forgive the person who hurt me mentally, emotionally and even physically because I forgot myself to take care of it.

Now, I want to go to church every Sunday. Attend the praise and worship, listen to the preaching of our pastor and have a fellowship with my sisters and brothers to the Lord.

I take care of myself now, prioritise God and the fire that I have for Him. I know I am still in the process, but I already know to control my emotions and make good decisions.

As a believer of God, I need to love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind. (Matthew 22:37-38)

Because anyone will leave you nor hurt you, still God will always be there and willing to show you love unconditionally. He might not be there for us physically, but His guidance, presence and unlimited love are the proof that His love always remains. Like us, that did anything for love, God always gives the best for us, all we need is to open our eyes to truth.

Three (3) points for his love for us;

1. BLESSINGS OVERFLOW- He will provide everything, whatever we may ask, we can receive it by the right timing and proved to us that He always forgives us no matter what happens.

2. CAREFUL HANDS- He wants us to be safe, make sure that we are in good hands. Trials and multiple circumstances may arise, but He will protect us from any harm. His love is always within us. His love is always for us and for everyone.

3. LET LESSON SHINE- He wants us to be firm. Connect to Him all the time. Challenges are real, but most of the time it leads to the right path. To be more stronger, faithful and prayerful. Lessons are part of our growth, God allows us to fail, hurt, reject and receive a lot of pain but with a purpose.

These three points come from my heart, all of these words remind me that all broken people are in love with the Lord. We are His child, let's share and always go back to Him. If you are reading this, this is not a mistake, this is for you. God loves you more than you think.

Dear, He missed you so much, we almost forgot your first love. Now, how are you? Stop thinking you're alone and worthless. You are worthy, adorable and beautiful.

After all, His love saved us.

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