𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌-𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓 | 𝐉𝐉𝐊

Chapter 34

"Did you really ever love Taehyung back then?.."

The question lingered in the air. I could still feel the touch of Jungkook's lips when he placed soft kisses on my shoulder, which felt like a stain I didn't want to wash off.

"Taehyung and I were friends in middle school. He'd play on the monkey bars every recess while I was always scared of heights. But, he encouraged me to try so that we could sit at the top together.

I wanted to be a big girl and be able to face my fear, so I ended up going on the monkey bars."

I paused for a moment, letting the silence sink within my sentence. Jungkook poked his eyes up in curiousness.

"Then what happened?"

The memories of me climbing up the monkey bars were consumed in a fog, until all I could remember was the moment of climax.

"I suppose I was near the top, and then I was on the ground. About 5 feet from where I was, then feeling my arm in so much pain. The last thing I saw was him running up to me and lifting me up from the ground. Everyone stared, but I was mainly focused on Taehyung

He helped me run to the nurse, which is where I learnt that I broke my arm. There was a kindness to him. You typically start having feelings for someone who shows that trait. Like, pure kindness. The pure version where it takes courage to act that way.

It takes courage to stand up for someone who's hurt when no one else does. Since that day, I developed an innocent crush for him, and he was usually nice to me."

"'Usually?'"

"..His childhood was rough. He grew up without his mom for most of his life, and only lived with his father who was abusive and heavily indulged in drugs. He got to live with his uncle when we starting dating at 14. 

My parents started liking eachother when they were 14, yet, at the time, I thought dating and liking someone a lot were the same thing. I guess Taehyung didn't really understand it."

My voice merged an embarrassed chuckle through the end of the sentence. My fingers tended to my head, scratching the roots through my hair as reciting these memories to Jungkook felt a little tricky.

"Near the start of our relationship, he's get irritated over things. Like when I'd ask if we wanted to get ice cream, he'd bicker with me about buying things that we didn't need to love each other.

He didn't believe in dates, and only thought our 'love' was enough. "We already know each other and love each other, isn't that enough?" he said.. And he didn't have a lot of money in his uncle's household, so dates and gifts weren't something he agreed with."

Throughout my whole verbal trip down memory lane—an unpleasant one—Jungkook laid back and listened, even while we were still half naked, cuddling underneath a duvet.

I rolled over on my left side as Jungkook put himself on his right side for us to face each other.

His face made me feel warm inside, seeing the softness beneath his cold heart overlay his expression and the sparkle in his eyes.

"I still find it hard." He said with a guiltiness in his tone.

"Find what hard?"

"Trying to push your previous relationship aside when it was the first time you ever felt love." 

The guiltiness in Jungkook's peaceful eyes was probably an image of Jieun Mi displayed in his mind that he could see right in front of him. 

"I tried getting over her when things with my father became overwhelming. And when you were at my house, in bed with a fake condition, I suddenly felt the push to just get her out of my life. Sounds a bit cringe, but my heart only aimed for you."