𝕮𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖊 𝕾𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝕴𝖒𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘

Oxygen | C.S.

[Angst/Fluff]
Inspired by Lacuna Coil's 'Oxygen'

The hotel room was a battlefield. Words hurled across the space like grenades, each one detonating with more ferocity than the last. Your throat was raw from yelling, but you didn't stop. The pain in Cobie's eyes mirrored your own, and that only made it worse. You wanted her to leave. You wanted her to stay. You wanted her to stop loving you, and you wanted her to love you more.

"I don't get it!" you shouted, pacing the length of the room, your hands trembling as you ran them through your hair. "Why do you keep doing this, Cobie? Why do you keep wasting your time on me?"

She stood by the window, her arms wrapped tightly around herself like she was holding herself together. Tears streamed down her face, but she didn't wipe them away. "Because I love you," she said, her voice breaking. "Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"Because it doesn't make sense!" you yelled, turning to face her. Your own tears blurred your vision, but you didn't care. "I'm a mess, Cobie! I'm broken, and I hate myself so much that I can barely look in the mirror. Why the hell would you want to be with someone like me?"

Her hands dropped to her sides, and for a moment, she just stared at you, her chest rising and falling as she tried to steady her breathing. "Do you think I don't know all of that?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Do you think I don't see the pain you're in? I see it every single day, and it kills me because I can't take it away for you!"

"Then stop trying!" you shouted, your voice cracking. "Just stop, Cobie! You can't fix me, okay? You can't save me, so just—"

"Is that what you think I'm trying to do?" she interrupted, her voice rising as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "You think I'm here to fix you? I'm here because I love you, and I'm not going to let you push me away just because you can't see your own worth!"

"I don't have any worth!" you snapped, your voice shaking with the force of your words. "I'm nothing, Cobie! I'm just this...this fucking failure of a person, and you deserve so much better than me!"

She let out a sob, covering her mouth with her hand as she turned away from you. Her shoulders shook, and the sound of her crying felt like a knife twisting in your chest.

"Stop saying that," she whispered, her voice muffled. "Please, stop saying that."

"It's the truth," you said, your voice quieter now but no less broken. "You deserve someone who isn't such a goddamn mess. Someone who can actually make you happy."

She turned back to you, her eyes red and swollen, and her expression was one of pure anguish. "You do make me happy," she said, her voice trembling. "Even when it's hard, even when it hurts, you make me happy. But you don't see that, do you? You don't see how much you mean to me because you're too busy tearing yourself apart."

You looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "I don't mean anything to anyone," you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper.

Her breath hitched, and before you could react, she crossed the room and grabbed your hands, forcing you to look at her. "Don't you dare say that," she said, her voice shaking with anger and hurt. "You mean everything to me. Do you hear me? Everything."

You tried to pull your hands away, but she held on tighter, her grip almost bruising. "Why, Cobie?" you asked, your voice breaking. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I love you!" she screamed, her voice cracking. "I love you so much that it hurts, and I can't just stand by and watch you destroy yourself!"

"I'm not worth it," you said, your voice trembling as fresh tears spilled down your cheeks. "I'm not worth your love, Cobie. I'm not worth anyone's love."

She let out a sob, her grip on your hands faltering as she covered her face with her hands. "Why can't you see what I see?" she cried, her voice muffled. "Why can't you see how incredible you are?"

You turned away from her, your shoulders shaking as you pressed your hands to your face. "I don't want to do this anymore," you choked out. "I don't want to feel like this anymore."

Her arms wrapped around you from behind, pulling you close despite your resistance. "I know," she whispered, her voice breaking. "I know, baby. But you're not alone, okay? I'm here. I'm always here."

"Let me go," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

"No," she said fiercely, her arms tightening around you. "I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever."

You tried to pull away, but her grip didn't falter. "Please, Cobie," you begged, your voice breaking. "Please, just let me go."

"I can't," she said, her voice trembling. "I can't let you go because you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm not going to lose you."

Her words shattered the last of your defenses. You turned in her arms, collapsing into her as sobs wracked your body. She held you tightly, her hands stroking your hair and her lips pressing soft kisses to your temple.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice broken. "I'm so sorry, Cobie."

"It's okay," she murmured, her own tears falling freely. "I've got you. I've always got you."

You pulled back slightly, looking into her tear-streaked face. "I don't deserve you," you said, your voice cracking.

"Yes, you do," she said fiercely, cupping your face in her hands. "You're everything to me. And I'm going to keep reminding you of that until you believe it."

Her words were like a balm on your shattered soul. You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against hers. "I'm scared," you admitted, your voice barely audible.

"I know," she said softly. "But you don't have to do this alone."

You closed your eyes, letting her words wash over you. For the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, you weren't as alone as you thought.

"I love you," you whispered, your voice breaking.

"I love you too," she said, her voice steady despite the tears still streaming down her face.

She pulled you into another hug, holding you tightly like you were the most precious thing in the world. And in her arms, for the first time in years, you felt like maybe you were worth saving.

<3