𝕮𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖊 𝕾𝖒𝖚𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝕴𝖒𝖆𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘

The Purge | C.S.

[Angst]
WARNING: Attempted suicide!
Inspired by Within Temptation's 'The Purge'

The faucet dripped in slow, rhythmic beats, a cruel metronome in the suffocating silence. You stared at the razor blade resting on the sink, your fingers ghosting over it, trembling but drawn to it like it held the answer to everything. Your breath hitched, shallow and uneven. The mirror reflected a stranger—haunted eyes, hollow cheeks, lips pressed into a thin, bloodless line.

This wasn't living. This was surviving in slow motion, an existence that felt like drowning with no end in sight.

Your fingers curled around the blade, the cold metal biting into your palm. The weight in your chest swelled, unbearable, suffocating. A scream sat in your throat, raw and desperate, but it never made it out. Instead, a choked sob broke free as your knees buckled, hands gripping the porcelain sink like a lifeline.

The door creaked open.

"Hey."

Cobie's voice.

Your stomach twisted violently. No. Not now. Not like this.

You squeezed your eyes shut, but you felt her presence behind you, saw her reflection in the mirror—blue eyes widening, mouth parting in slow horror as she took in the scene. The blade. Your shaking hands. The way your body folded into itself, as if trying to disappear.

She inhaled sharply. "Jesus."

Her voice shattered something in you.

A sob tore through you, and your grip slipped. The blade clattered against the sink, metal ringing against porcelain, a sharp sound that might as well have been a gunshot.

"Tell me this isn't what I think it is," she whispered, stepping forward, hesitant but desperate.

You couldn't answer. You couldn't breathe. Your whole body was shaking so violently it felt like you might come apart.

"Talk to me." Her voice broke.

"I can't."

"You can." She stepped closer, reaching for you, and you flinched before she could touch you. She froze, pain flashing across her face before she tried again, slower this time, as if she were afraid you'd vanish if she moved too fast.

Your breath hitched when her hands cupped your face, warm and grounding. "Please, let me in."

You swallowed thickly, blinking up at her. "I don't know how."

"Yes, you do." Her thumbs brushed away the tears streaking down your cheeks. "Just don't shut me out."

A bitter, broken laugh escaped your throat. "It won't change anything."

Cobie's jaw tightened. "You don't know that."

You did. You knew it deep in your bones, knew that no amount of love could erase the weight crushing you, the darkness eating you alive from the inside out.

"I don't want to do this anymore," you admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

Cobie's breath stuttered. "Do what?"

"Be here."

Her hands tightened on your face, panic flickering through her eyes. "No."

Tears blurred your vision. "It's too much. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to stop feeling like this."

Cobie shook her head, voice cracking. "Then let me hold on for both of us."

A sob tore from your throat, raw and desperate. "What if I don't make it?"

Cobie's arms wrapped around you in an instant, pulling you in so tightly it hurt, like she could physically keep you from slipping away. "Then I'll still be here," she whispered, breath warm against your hair. "No matter what."

You broke. The dam shattered, and the storm inside you came crashing down all at once.

A guttural scream ripped from your chest, shaking the walls, clawing its way out of your throat as you sobbed into Cobie's shoulder. Your fingers twisted into her shirt, clinging to her like she was the last thing tethering you to the earth.

"Let me bleed it out," you choked, voice wrecked. "Let me purge it."

"No." Cobie's grip on you tightened, her own tears warm against your skin. "You don't have to bleed. I'll help you purge it in another way. We'll get through this. Together."

You sobbed harder, body wracked with violent, heaving tremors.

Cobie's arms tightened around you like she could hold you together, like she could stop the inevitable from happening. But you didn't want to be held. You didn't want to be saved.

You shoved at her chest, hands trembling, voice hoarse from the weight of everything inside you. "Let me go."

"No."

"Let me go!" Your voice cracked, a sob tearing free as you tried to push her away again, harder this time. But she didn't move. She didn't even flinch.

She just held on.

Tears burned your eyes, hot and suffocating, spilling down your cheeks as you screamed. "Let me bleed!" Your fists pounded against her, weak and desperate, but she didn't loosen her grip. "Let me purge it!"

Cobie shook her head, silent tears streaming down her face. "No."

Your breath hitched, and then you screamed again, guttural, broken, wrecked beyond anything you'd ever felt before. Your whole body convulsed with it, your chest caving in as you fought against her.

But she wouldn't let go.

She just held you tighter, her face buried in your hair, her body pressed against yours like she could will your pain into herself, like she could absorb all of it and carry it for you.

"I can't," you gasped, voice strangled. "I can't—I can't—"

"You can," she whispered, voice raw. "I've got you."

You struggled harder, your sobs turning into full-body convulsions. You clawed at her arms, at her shirt, at anything to make her let go, to let you disappear into the void you'd been teetering on the edge of.

But she wouldn't.

She wouldn't let you drown.

"I don't want this," you choked, your forehead pressing against her shoulder. "I don't want to be here anymore."

Cobie let out a quiet, broken sob, and for the first time, she shook against you. But still, she held on. "Then I'll stay here with you," she whispered, her fingers digging into your back. "I'll stay as long as it takes. I'm not letting you go."

Your breath came in ragged gasps, your chest rising and falling so violently it felt like you might come apart. Your fingers twisted into her shirt again, holding on so tight your knuckles turned white.

You felt yourself breaking, shattering into a million unfixable pieces. But Cobie stayed. She stayed through all of it—through the screaming, the shaking, the utter devastation of everything you were.

She stayed.

<3

A/N: I'm so fucking sorry... I'll try to write more fluffy stuff in the future.